Doing What He Thinks Is Best
by Wiggle34
Summary: Set after Season 5 - Mike makes a decision, one that he thinks is best but is it?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Doing what he thinks is best.

**Author:** ME

**Rating:** PG may change during the story

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters of Sea Patrol only those I make up.

**Summary:** Set after Season Five. Story focused around Mike and Kate.

Mike is lying on a bed in a hospital looking out the window of his room thinking. Thinking of the things in life he wished he had, the things he wished he could change and the only person who really matters to him, the one person he feels shouldn't have so much control over his heart but does. The same person who just expects him, to forgive and forget.

"Commander Flynn you ready for transfer?" A young blonde nurse says to him as she enters the room he looks at her and just nods. They are use to him not speaking much, the only time they hear anything from him is either in his sleep when he is dreaming or when the doctor talking to him.

"Have a safe trip home." The nurse says as she wheels him out in the wheel chair to the awaiting van that will take him to the airport and then back home to Australia. Back to Kate, Maxine and Ryan. Back to Cairns. Back to the memories of the good and the bad. Back to the place he's supposed to call home.

_At least I will still be in a hospital when I return I can make sure they don't allow anyone into my room. I can still be alone._ He thinks to himself as he is boarding the plane. _Though Sadly Maxine will know what is going on and hopefully she doesn't cause a fuss, or be there waiting for me. I do hope she lets me get settled in before she visits._

The trip back to Australia was uncomfortable for Mike due to his injuries, he was also very tired and the trip from Brisbane to Cairns was a bit ruff by the time they had landed in Cairns Mike was in a lot of pain and very tired it didn't take long for him to be transported to the local hospital and be given some stronger pain relief and it wasn't long after the pain medication had kicked in that he fell asleep. Dreaming yet again of the women he loves.


	2. Chapter 2

WARNING – From this chapter on there will be spoilers from the episode. More this chapter than any of the others.

Winding Back in Time….

The day of Swain and Jim's memorial.

Kate's house.

"Are you ok?" Mike asks Kate, as he places his hat on the corner of Kate's couch.

"I feel so guilty?" she says to him as she faces away from him, only turning to him when he starts to talk to her.

"Your decision to let them go ahead was right, it wasn't your fault that they disobeyed orders to leave"

"No that not what I mean."

"Then what is it"

"After I meet you for coffee I went and tried on a wedding dress,(there is a pause before she speaks again, after saying this you can see a wave of different emotions pass over Mike, he's not sure what she is about to say and wither it will affect him good or bad.) and that's when I knew I would never marry Jim"

"Did you tell him?" Kate just shakes her head to let him know she never told Jim.

"There is only one person I could ever imagine marrying." Mike stands there semi shocked and relieved.

"Yeah" comes out a few seconds later, and then there is a break before he says "Me Too"

They both stand there looking at each other for a few minutes before Mike moves forward and wraps his arms around Kate. It takes her a few moments to respond and she then hugs him back. They stand like this for a few more minutes before Mike pulls away.

"Kate after the ceremony we need to sit down and talk about this. But right now we do need to head back to base." He says to her with his hands on the top of her arms.

The rest of the afternoon goes by in a blur for the crew of Hammersley. The service for Jim and Chris leaving them all thinking about what they have done in their lives, and what other things they won't to do that is important to them.

Maxine spoke to the Brass and Fleet Command over when it was best for the crew on Hammersley to return. The Brass won't them back in the game sooner, the brass understood that the crew would be affected by Chris death and they ended up coming to an agreement. Maxine in the end was able to get the crew two weeks off.

After the service and the mulling around talking to the family of Jim and Chris and other office's Mike and Kate where finally able to head back to Kate's place. They both got changed in to normal clothes before Kate made them both a hot drink and then they sat down in the lounge.

"Kate I need you to be honest with me why did you end it?" He asks several minutes later, after noticing that Kate was being quiet as if waiting for him to speak.

Kate sits there playing with the mug that is in her hands, not sure what to say or how to reply to what he is asking. At the time she thought she was doing the right thing, doing as she was told by Maxine, and having Jim around made it easier for her to do it as he gave her a distraction something else she could burry herself in to help her forget about Mike, well not forget but to try and feel something other than utter devastation at not getting her promotion the first time she had ever been knocked back and due to the lack of promotion meant not Tahiti, not Mike no future. She wasn't sure if she could believe him when he said he would fix it then to find out he would resign she felt she could let him do that. She is so away with her thoughts that she hasn't noticed that Mike has moved and is now knelling down in front of her wiping the tears away from her face that have started to fall without her knowledge. She quickly lifts her head and looks to the ceiling, wiping at her face as she does this.

"Kate?" Mike says softly to her, his hands now on her knees. Kate decides to stand and move around a little bit, Mike stands up and goes back to the couch and sits down on it placing his head in his hands.

"Kate if what you said to me hours ago is true then you need to talk to me. I know you told Dutchy that you broke up with me because of my career because you think it is the most important thing in my life." Kate looks at him, stunned that he knows this but isn't surprised that it came from Dutchy not after what he told her on the boat back to Cairns.

"Why do you think that? Why do you think my career is more important to me? I thought we had been through all this after the Gorski incident. I thought I told you I would make sure we got our future the one we spoke about, the one that involved us together."

"What about Maxine and Ryan?"

"That was twenty years ago Kate. I maybe Ryan's real father but that is all I am. I can be very sure in the fact that he will never call me dad because the person who was that to him is dead now." He looks at her and he can tell there is more to it than her thinking his career is more important to him.

"Where did you get the idea that my career is more important to me?" He asks her and she turns and looks out over her back lawn and to the estuary that is across the road.

It takes her a few minutes before she speaks, she knows Mike is waiting for an answer from her due to the fact he hasn't said a damn thing since, leaving the house in silence par the sound of the ticking clock, and the wildlife outside.

"There were rumours about us, Maxine told me. She reminded me that the navy is your life and always will be and that if those rumours where to get out and be true I would be destroying your career. I know how much Hammersley means to you Mike so I made the choice. I decided for us that your career was not worth the risk of us being found out." He sits there on the couch taking in what she has just said to him.

"So you chose for me. Is Maxine the source that told you about me seeing fleet command?" he says as he looks at her and sees her nod her head in agreement.

"So then you knew about me resigning if I didn't get my shore posting back?" he says as he watches her she then turns around before speaking again.

"Yes and I couldn't let you do that Mike. You would have regretted it. You may have been happy at the start but over time you would have missed the thrill of being out there the thrill of the job."

"Yes I would have missed the Job, the Navy but it would have meant I could be with the person I love, the only person I could see myself having a future with. Even if there was rumours Kate we never had a physical relationship this time around, we work together and we could have pasted it off as good friends and work colleagues who enjoy speaking time with each other outside of work. God how many times on shore leave do the crew get together?" Kate says nothing in response. "They see each other every day are they having a relationship too one that needs me to report them? No it's what we do on Hammersley; it's what Hammersley has always been like." There is a pause before he speaks again. "For someone who pushed me for over a year to get off Hammersley, you were extremely quick to end it all over something Maxine said to you." He says as he stands up and picks up his garment bag that has his dress whites in.

"For someone I love dearly, someone I could see myself marrying, you also just expect me to be able to turn my emotions and feelings off and on as you see fit. I can tell you don't really want to talk about this, you never have. Just one thing though Kate you can't expect me to welcome you with open arms so easily not after you shut me out, after you decided to do what you did without talking to me about it. Plus there is also the fact that you can't even talk to me as your CO concerning matters that relate to you and the job on a personal matter. You know I should never have allowed you and Jim to ride in the same RHIB after his proposal, but what hurt more was the fact you told Dutchy before your commanding officer which leaves me to wonder if I would have ever been told at all." There is a brief pause as he waits to see if she will speak but nothing comes out of her mouth. She stands there quiet looking at him. "Look I'm going to head home now maybe I'll see you tomorrow. (_there is a brief pause before he speaks again_) you know you said to me one day that you never wanted to be second best. The day I meet you Kate, your where my first and only choice, never my second. I know I stuff up back then by walking out on you like I did but this time around you have stuff this up. I may be walking out your door yet again but this time you can't blame me for this relationship failing, you can't blame me for it going wrong because this time I was prepared to do what it took." Is the last thing he says before he turns around and walks towards the door as he places his hand on the door knob Kate calls out to him.

"Mike please don't go, not yet." Her voice so full of sadness it is hard for Mike to decide what is best to do.

"Please Mike stay." She begs at him as he stands there, he doesn't have to look at her to know she has tears falling down her face or that him leaving is hurting her just like it is hurting him.

"Kate I did try to fix this, honest to god I tried to find what went wrong so I could either correct the mistake or show you. But the fact you were even considering Jims proposal to me told me that you did love him and maybe more than you did me, and that maybe I was your second choice. Up until Dutchy told me what he did a few nights ago, I had been thinking that you were only with me because there was no Jim, and that Jim was the reason for us breaking up. That you used the fact you didn't get your promotion as the reason to end it all because it gave you an easy escape, it meant you didn't have to tell me how you really felt. You say you don't won't me to leave but what if someone else comes along that gets your fancy? Or another ex-boyfriend turns up am I just going to be dumbed yet again so you can go out with them, or what if a rumour comes up about us are you going to end it because that is what you think is right without talking to me?" He says to her as he started this conversation he was looking at the door but not long into it he turns to look at her to see how she reacts to what is being said.

Mike's mobile then rings and interrupts their conversation. He answers it with his usually greeting.

"Yes." He responds to whoever is on the other end of the line, he walks back to Kate's couch and sits down, placing the garment bag on the coffee table in front of him. It sits there listening to what is being said.

"No it still stands." He says as he rubs a hand over his face, Kate decides to sit down beside him on the couch.

"Yes transferring me will be fine." He replies back to the caller and he notices that Kate has gone stiff beside him.

"Yes I will still go through with what I said to them back then nothing has changed."

"Ok thank you." He replies before hanging up the phone.

"What was that about?" Kate asks.

"That was Lieutenant John Vincent. He was asking me if I would take a transfer if I can't get my desk job back."

"Oh." Comes from Kate. "So you're still going to go through with what you said to fleet command."

"Yes Kate I am. No matter what happens between us I no longer can work beside you not with how I feel. It comprises my ability to do my job fully."

"But you've managered to do your job the last few years why can't you now?"

"At the start when you first came on board I wouldn't let myself bring up those feelings I had for you I did my best to hide them by being with someone else. I had hoped you would transfer so that we could see if anything could or would happen, but you decided to stay which to be honest was a shock and surprise but I also appreciated it more so the fact you though you could keep working with plus we had done an great job over those six months it was nice to have a XO prepared to stay on I never had that before. The second year you were with Jim and I struggled to kept my emotions in check. I had to remind myself you are my 2IC and that I can't go there that I had to let you go. It wasn't till Maxine came and start on me as well about my promotion and you said it had its advantages so I took it which lead to us having one amazing night together before I got reassigned back to Hammersley, what kept me going then was the fact that soon I would be off, soon we would get to have another one of those nights together. But then…" He stops talking and takes a few deep breaths "I was able to handle it at the start by telling myself I couldn't have you, then it was the thought that once I was off I would have you back but after you broke it off I struggled to get through, even more son when you were with Jim and I can't go through that again. I struggled each day having to see you and see you with someone else knowing I couldn't have you anymore."

He sits there allowing the Kate the time to absorb what he has just said to her. "You told me you didn't want this; want us anymore. Why did putting on a wedding dress somehow change your mind, why was it that a dress was what got you thinking that I was the only one you could marry. If that was so surely when Jim asked you to marry him you would have known your answer then and there." He watches as she wipes at her face with the back of her hand. She can't stop the sob that then leaves her lips, she tries to cover it up but he hears it anyway.

"When he asked me I was surprised. He did it on Hammersley nothing romantic about it he just came out with it. The look on his face when he did it I was left unable to say anything part of me said I can't the other said why not he said he's prepared to change his life to be with me, something I couldn't ask you to do. Why I have no real idea. All I know it that Maxine was, no is right. Your career Mike it is all you have. It is who you are. So yes I was considering it I was weighing up if it was worth marrying him or not, knowing full well that to be honest my heart still won't you more." She mangers to get out to him, as tears still fall down her face. "After our talk I hadn't made up my mind fully but I was seriously considering accepting his proposal, it gave me a family as well as being able to still be around you. I got everything I wonted without you losing your job and career. I got a husband, possible kids, and until I took a shore posting I got to work alongside you. But once that dress went on the more I tried to picture Jim I couldn't the more I told myself it is Jim I'm marrying all I could think of was you and how I would be hurting both of you in the long run. I would be hurting you by marrying him, then Jim when I finally realised or him that you were the one I truly loved and that I was only with him because I wouldn't let you chose me over your job." She gets out before breaking down into tears again.

They sit there side by side him wonting to comfort her but also worried it might give her the wrong message if he does. Her allowing her emotions to come out on how heartbroken she was over making the choice she did to end it all between them once and for all.

"I think it might be best for me to head home. You need some time to grieve for the loss of Jim."

"Please Mike stay. I need you to stay." She says to him, as she places a hand on his thigh as he goes to get up.

"Kate I can't stay. You ended it all. You were the one who told me she didn't want this anymore, that you were having doubts over us. I've come to accept it. I may not like it but you choose this, so now you have to accept it." After he says this Kate lets out another sob, which makes it even harder for him to leave her, leaver her in this sort of state something he is not happy he is about to do.

He kneels down in front of her and lifts up her chin so they are looking at each other.

"You were and will be the only person I could have ever thought of marrying. You are going to have to learn to live with it just like I am. Because you can't expect me to come running back to you when you see fit. God honey I love you so much that it hurts to do this but it is for the best. You choose this out come by not talking to me, by letting Maxine decide what will happen between us. And I know Maxine she did it because she could see what she was hoping I still had for her that I don't. I'm going now and I shell see you in a couple of weeks when Hammersley sails again." He says as he places a soft, yet gentle lingering kiss on her forehead, before getting up and heading towards the door trying hard to ignore the sounds of her crying on the couch. He opens the door and just before he walks out he looks over at the couch to see her lying down, curled up in a ball with a cushion pressed between her arms and stomach. He walks out and shuts the door, once it closes a lone tear falls down his cheek.

_It's for the best. She made this choice. She chose to end it on what Max said to her without talking to you. Now she has to realise you aren't going to come running back to her after her telling you something like that. You're going to have to let her go Mike and just drown yourself in work, even though hearing her sobbing like that hurts you and you so badly wont to go and comfort her you can't_. He thinks to himself as he walks to his car and gets in to drive home.

Once in the car he has a few more tears falling down his face, unknown to him is that Kate is watching him and sees him wiping at his face before he starts his vehicle and drives off.


	3. Chapter 3

It is dark when Mike wakes, and for a few moments he is confused about where he is. Then it all comes back to him when he starts to feel the pain from his injuries. Thanks to the light from the hall way he can make out what is in his room, and he finds the switch to turn on the overhead light, which for him was a nice dull lightbright enough iflight be able to read under, but not too bright that you do not need to close your eyes once it is on after being after being asleep.

In the nurses' station one of the nurses, who was ere sitting down at the desk doing some work notices the light going on in Mike's room. She gets up and informs Mike's nurse that her patient is awake.

"Mr Flynn, I'm your nurse tonight. mMy name is Beth., hHow are you feeling?" Tthe middle aged nurse asks him. He looks at her and he is sure he has seen her before, but where he just can't place it. b But then again he is back in Cairns, in the local hospital which for him and the crew have been in and out of over the years.

"Sore." Is all he comes out with, which surprises him asbecause at the last hospital he never spoke to the nurses, but there was something about this nurse that makesmade him want to give her answers to her questions., Ccould it be the fact she is an older nurse and not one pf those young blonde, brunette, or whatever hair colour they haad that nursed him during the day nurses, who would not stop bugging him or talking about him outside the room as if he couldn't hear.

"That is to be expected with your injuries and flying makes it worse. Plus I heard the flight from Brisbane to here was ruff. You' ha've still got a lot of healing to do. Now I need to check all your dressing and wounds., aAre you ok with me doing that?" she asks. All the nurses had been informed of how he was at the last hospital. He wasn't mean he just didn't talk and didn't like the nurses touching him. That is why Beth said she would be more than happy to take him on., sShe remembered what he was like last time he was in hospital, when he had shrapnel in his knee, and she wonders if that petite blonde officer will be back this time around to visit. She knows she still in the area as she saw her a few weeks ago coming in with a couple of other officers.

Mike lays there thinking.

"If you would prefer a male nurse or doctor to do it, it' is no problem. I will go get either for you, if you wish." And fFor once Mike feels like he has some control of what is happening around him, and has some say in how things are done, not just told what will and won't be getting done and by whom.

"It is ok, you can do it." He quietly says to her.

"Ok I will be back in about ten minutes as I will get everything together that I need." Beth says before leaving the room. She walks out with a smile on her lips and the other nurses know from the look on her face that she has made progress. Of cause they are use to dealing with their own Navel guys, and for some unknown reason the Patrol Boat crews are the worse, they hate missing out on the action that they get on a daily bases.

Fifteen minutes later Beth re-enters Mike room.

"Ok Mr Flynn, you have a choice to make. wWhat do you wanon't me to call you Sir, Commander Flynn, Mr Flynn." She says to him trying to give him more control over what is happening as she puts some gloves on.

"Mike is fine with me." He says to her, he looks towards the window and not at her, as she starts to move the blanket off him so she can start looking at his wounds.

"Ok Mike, I'm going to start with your legs and work my way up from there. If at any time you feel uncomfortable or it hurts too much say so and I will stop and move to another area. Do you understand?"

"Yes" he replies back as he closes his eyes and just lays there as she does what she needs to do.

While she is doing this he thinks back to the times that he has been happy, times that have made him laugh and smile.

"Fuck that hurts." Comes out of his mouth so fast it wasn't funny.

"Sorry about that Mike, I need to get a doctor in here and take a look at this one." Beth says as she quickly leaves the room and pagers for a doctor (I would recommend that she stay with Mike and rings the patient bell 3 times. This is a signal that help is required)I took this from what I had experienced and seen in our hospitals in NZ ringing the bell 3 times here gets everyone in the room and your only meant to use it in life and death situations. (while that is the case, anytime you need fast assistance you can use this. Your description of his infection, to me says that it has become gangrenous, and that can VERY quickly turn into a systemic infection, causing septic shock. I think it could very quickly turn into a life and death situation, Besides it is better to call for a medical emergency immediately, especially as he has been unconscious for so long. Any negative progress for him would immediately warrant this, in my opinion) Mike looks down at the wound that she just took the dressing off to start to clean and he sees green muck around it. along with Iit was alsobeing very red and inflamed this explaining to him the pain he felt when they took the bandage off. (Inflammation actually means red, hot and painful)

"Just brilliant! aAll I need is an infection." He says to himself, as two people walk on in.

"That looks nasty son?" Aa male voice says and Mike whips his head around so fast that if it wasn't attached to his neck it would have rolled off the bed.

"Dad, Mum?" He says his voice unsure if it was really them.

"Yes it's us."

"How did you know I was coming back today?"

"One thing the Navy is good at is making sure parents are kept informed. As soon as you landed in Brisbane we got a phone call and we got the first flight we could to here." They stand there for a few minutes before Mike speaks again.

"Mum, dad why don't you both go and come back tomorrow." Mike says to them.

"You sure about that?"

"Yep I shouldn't be feeling so tired."

"Ok if you need anything just ring."

"Will do." Mike says back as he watches the two leave the room. ; hHe then turns his head back to the window again.

Outside his room his parents stop and watch as he turns his head away from the door and back to the window.

"We better get back to the house and give Maxine a ring, she did tell us to ring her once we had seen him." Lisa, Mike's mother says to her husband.

"Yes we better; we owe her so much for keeping us in the loop once he got injured. Plus she was the one that rang me to say he had landed in Brisbane."

"Yes. I just wished I knew how it happened."

"He'll tell us at some stage honey." Peter says back to his wife. The two walk off and out of the hospital.

A few minutes later Beth and a doctor arrive in Mike's room to look at his wound.

"I was worried this might happen." The doctor says as he looks over the covered wound on his leg.

"Beth can you get some local please" The doctor asks as he goes and washes his hands, Beth goes off to get what has been asked.

"Ok Mike, I am going to put some local in when Beth is back and let that work. tThen I will take a swabp of the site, and also have a good look around to see if anything is still in there. Of course while we wait for the local to work, I will look at your other injuries."

A few minutes later Beth is back with the local and more supplies that they will need. The doctor puts the local in and around the wound and then proceeds to checking his other wounds. He finds a couple more that are red and inflamed. He then gets to work on the leg wound, by removing the stiches after that he takes a swabp and then works at cleaning it. The worse of the infection is on the top of the wound down further it looks healthy. (this is normally the case with these kind of infections. Pesure ulcers may be an issue here too)

"Mike, I think you are reacting to the stitches they have used (the dressings may also be the issue here). This shouldn't be happening. Since tThere is nothing in your file stating you have issues with them. I am going to use the sterry strips. tThey are not going to do as good as job as proper stitches but as you are on bed rest and not allow up; they will help kept the wound semi closed enough to get it to mend. I will send the swabp off to the lab to find out what we are fighting here, b. Buttu it looks mainly to be on the top of the wound. dDown further is looking healthy and good. I will put you on a course of oral antibiotics but if there is no sign of improvement within 24horus. I will put youput you will be on IV onesMedication to get at it betterkill the infection. Beth we are going to have to be careful how we dress this wound also."

"How long do you expect me to be stuck in here for?" Mike asks.

"Hard to say. Yyou can't walk around until your leg wounds have healed up, otherwise you will just rip them right open again. And tTo be honest I do not know how much movement you will get back, . (I will need to get a physio to do an assessment to tell us that. You should Bbe prepared for the fact you may not have full use of that leg anymore Mike."

"Yea I know. tThey told me that when I first come around."

"That is good to hear. Now how much of what has happened have they told you."

"The doctor told me everything from when I first came into them to when I woke up."

"Ok so you know you were out of it for a few days?"

"Yep."

"Good. Now tomorrow Mike you will have physio coming in and working with your good leg to make sure that doesn't lose too much muscle tone, and cirulation plus it will help for when you can get back up and usinge the other leg (it is also essential for circulation. The physio will also organise passive exercises for the injured limb as this will help circulation and help to ride his body of the infection. The immune system uses the blood stream to get around). Now I'm going to head off and chart up some more meds for you., hHow is your pain at present (the nurses should do a pain assessment every 4 hours)?"

"I'm sore, but I don't want anything too strong please."

"Right then I will chart some lower dose pain meds, but I will leave the morphine charted so that if it gets too bad for you Mike, we can give you some to help. Don't be afraid to ask for it either, Pain won't help you recover quicker, all it will do is hinder your recovery time and you will spend more time stuck here. Also the pain relief is charted for every four to six hours, the nurses will be keeping a close eye on you and if they feel you need it you are to take it, (Infact it can hinder your recovery. Because when in pain your breath become shallower and less oxygen is in the blood,)."

"Thank you. jJust one more question. Why did they transfer me back here to Cairns and not Sydney, where I'm currently based?"

"I'm not sure maybe Commander White can inform you of the reasons." The doctor says back to him. Everyone at the hospital knows Commander White is the Commanding Office of NAVCOMavcom Cairns and the one to speak to about Navy things.

"Thank you." Is the last thing Mike says before the doctor and nurse leave the room. Leaving Mike to his own thoughts.

**WINDING BACK IN TIME…**

The end of Hammersley's two weeks off came by extremely quickly for all the crew involved.

Dutchy was pleased that he was able to go straight back to work without being on light duties, b. But they were all still feeling the loss of Chris.

As Kate checked that everything was ready and the supplies were being loaded, she had noticed no sign of Mike. Then she remembered she hadn't heard from him since thehat night that he left her place. She picks up her mobilecell phone and rings him.

"Mike, it's me Kate. wWe a're due to sail in 30mins and there is still no sign of you on Hammersley. cCan you let me know when we are to expect you." Kate says as she leaves a message on his answering machine. Not having gotten through to him, then she remembers it didn't even ring. _He never turns his mobile off not even when in a meeting with Maxine. What is going on_? She tries his home number but only gets his answering machine there too.

"Mike, answer you damn bloody phone, if this is over. wWhat happened between us? Jjust... look we sail in 25minutes. Please let me know how far away you are." She says into his machine, her voice changing to a soft but worried tone by the end of it.

"Where the hell are you Mike? , yYou can't let me do this alone." She says under her breath, but she is not the only one that heard the message she left on his homeuse phone or what she has said under her breath., Dutchy did too and this leaves him to wonder what is going on, he could tell from the tone in Kate's voice that there is something up. Something that none of them know about. He goes back to do what he wasis doing and hopes Kate didn't see him.

Five minutes later Kate's mobile goes off and she answers it.

"Lieutenant McGregor. Iit's Commander White. cCan you please have the crew in their dress whites and on the boat deck in 15minutes please."

"Can I ask why?"

"I'm bringing down Hammersley new CO."

"You're what?" She says into the phone shock sounding infrom her voice.

"I take it from your tone of voice Mike didn't inform you?"

"Inform me of what Ma'am."

"He was transferred to Sydney ten days ago. I'll be down soon with your new CO." Maxine says before hanging up. Kate walks up to the bridge to pipe the announcement over the PA system. She is in shock.

_Why didn't you tell me Mike? Was it how things went down between us s,that made it hard for you to tell me of the transfer? Were you worried about what I might say or do?_ She thinks to herself as she changes into her whites.

Ten minutes later the crew are assembled on the boat deck as per instructed by Kate, a few minutes later a car pulls up and Maxine gets out along with the new CO offor Hammersley. The crew stand atto attention as the new COo walks on to Hammersley with Maxine.

"Lieutenant Kate McGregor, this is your new CO Lieutenant Commander Bill Vincent." Maxine says and the two shake hands and say hellos. Maxine watches as he introduces himself to the rest of the crew.

"Kate if I had known he hadn't told you, I would have said something sooner to you."

"No problem ma'am." Kate says back. Maxine can tell by her voice that she is down, sad that Mike didn't say anything to youher. Maxine gentlegently takes Kate's arm and moves her away from the rest of the crew.

"Kate?" She asks again, her voice more soft and gentle.

"It's ok ma'am. hHe's doing what he thinks is best for him and I have to learn to live with it."

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner.. I thought you guys had been through enough. Plus I thought Mike would have told you, since he seems to share far more with you than me." Maxine quietly says to her. Maxine has a quick look over towards the crew and notices the new CO is still talking to them. The two talk for a few more minutes before Kate walks off to her cabin., Maxine quickly gets the CO's attention and shows him to his cabin. She then informs him that Kate has only just found out that Mike is no longer in command. Maxine had already explained to him the close working relationship Mike and Kate had so it is a surprise to him that Mike didn't say anything.

Kate is in her cabin; she pulls out her laptop and fires up it up, once it is loaded up she then opens up her email account. She starts to type an email to Mike but she has no idea where to really start. She can't even decide if she should go Dear Mike, To Mike, or just stick with Mike.

As she sits there she misses the first call over the PA system for her to come to the bridge, it is when there is a knock on her door doesthat she comes back to the living, and tells them to enter.

"You ok ma'am?"

"Yes Charge I am."

"Well um your are needed on the bridge. tThe new boss has summoned you twice now."

"Oh has he?it sSorry I was side tracked."

"No Problem ma'am we ready to sail now anyway, and I think the boss wants you to guide her out." Charge says as the two leave her cabin.

She arrive on the bridge, and guides Hammersley off the docks, and out of the harbour into open water where the new Coxswain, Jonathon Hills, Jonny to his mates and ship's crew, takes over the helm and the new COo takes over control again having allowed Kate to have the ship while she guided her out. Kate then heads off to her cabin once again to try and do this email.

In the end she gives up and heads back to the bridge. The crew all notice how quiet she is so far, not saying much or joining in with the crews chatter. For Charge and Dutchy they have already guessed the reason behind it. The new CO, and no Mike. She hasn't even mentioned his name, even when someone asked where he was, she never said anything. Charge knows that last time he got posted off she knew before everyone else. sSo this time she has been left out of the loop. Both guys are left wondering what happened after the ceremony for Chris and Jim.

Several hours later Dutchy mangers to get her on her own without looking like he wants to talk to her or needs her alone toot do it.

"Kate where is Mike?"

"Knooker said Sydney I think." She says

"Kate you think?"

"Look Dutchy I only got told 10minutes before the new CO arrived. I had no idea he had been transferred."

"So you two didn't get things sorted out then?"

"Nope you were right. I shouldn't have made that decision for him and now he has made his and I just have to learn to live with it. I better go I have got toot work on the rosters."

"Well if you wanon't you can stick me on some guts watches with you, if you like and we can talk. Our choice I'm here if you need it."

"Thanks Dutchy but I should be ok."

"Kate I mean it as a friend you've got hardly anyone here you can talk to about this. sSo I don't mind." There talk is interrupted by the PA system coming to life with a call for both of them to head to the bridge.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thanks for the reviews and also private messages I have gotten about this story :) Thank god the world didn't end yesterday as I can keep updating for you all.**_

* * *

During the evening as the local wore off on around the wound on his leg it became sore and Beth his nurse gave him some morphine which when it started to work which was pretty quickly he started to feel sleepy and nodded off. During the night when he was due for some more pain relief Beth gave him another dose of morphine since it was charted and she also wanted him to have a good night's sleep with as little amount of discomfort as possible. Plus she also knew that it would help him with his recovery if his body wasn't feeling sore or in pain.

Around three am when Beth did her routine obs she noticed Mike had a slightly high temperature than at his last set of obs. She rings the on call doctor to inform him of this change, he immediately comes down and charts up IV meds and hangs them straight away into his system. As Mike already had IV access in his arm it was a simple insertion but as they are doing it he wakes up and they inform him of what they are doing, before long he is back asleep the morphine helping him nod back off to sleep. The doctor instructed Beth that he was to only get morphine as pain relief for now regardless of what he said.

**A new day dawns.**

Mike wakes to the sound of people walking and talking on the ward; the sounds of a trolley moving around; the music of the birds outside his hospital window; the sound of the ocean lapping on the beach and also the sounds of life moving forward.

He never noticed till this morning that the top windows were slightly open allowing sound to enter his room; he smiles at this as he looks out the window towards the ocean and a smile appears on his face.

He is laying there thinking when a nurse enters.

"Morning Mike, I'm Janice your nurse for the day. Beth has explained to me everything that happened over night and that you prefer to be called Mike. So how are you feeling this morning?" She says to him as she checks his pulse and temperature.

"I'm hungry I missed dinner last night." When she notes down the temperature she notices that it has gone down and is back to normal again.

"Well that is good to hear. You need to eat. Now last night the doctors hooked you up to IV meds."

"I remember something faintly before I went back to sleep.

"Yes you started to get a raised temperature and the doctor has also stated you are to only get morphine as pain relief." Mike doesn't look at all impressed with this idea.

"Mike where you got treated is not the best hygiene wise but they had no choice you were closer to their hospital than HMAS Melbourne. If they hadn't have sent you there you would have died. Your body need's time to heal and pain is not going to do that at all. Plus the less pain you are in the more you will enjoy your stay here and the sooner you will be able to return home again. So is there anything I can bring to you?"

"How do you know what happened to me?" Mike says puzzled to the nurse.

"I was on HMAS Melbourne when it happened. I'm now on my roistered time ashore as I've spend close to nine months on the water with no real break."

"Oh ok. The remote for the TV would be good I'm not sure where it is." He says she has a quick look in the draws beside his bed and finds it. Even if he did find it he wouldn't have been able to reach it without hurting himself.

"Also here is the remote for the bed so you can sit up some more. But please do not over reach for things, if you can't reach it with your arm out normal then buzz for us to come and help you. I'll bring in some fresh water with your breakfast." She says before leaving the room.

0900hours

Mike is in bed watching the television having eaten breakfast which he didn't find all that interesting.

Mike lays there flicking the channels when he gets a visitor.

"How you feeling today son?" his dad Peter says to him as he sits down beside the bed.

"Where's mum?" Mike asks when he notices she is absent from the room.

"Your mother is out food shopping and getting a few other things for you. I told her to also go see Maxine and see where your laptop is so we can get it to you."

"Thanks dad." He says not really looking at his father. Peter can tell he is not himself and is surprised that he is even here considering he is now based in Sydney.

"When did you put the house on the market?"

"A few days before I was ask to fill in for a sick CO. I'm based in Sydney now dad; no need to keep this place when I need to get one down there." There is silence in the room again as Peter thinks about what Mike has said.

"So this transfer is it a permanent thing is it?"

"Yes it is."

"How did Kate take this news and when were you planning on telling us that it was long term position?" he asks him as it is the first he has heard of him staying in Sydney long term. Peter and Lisa both thought it was a temporary position.

"She didn't handle me telling her I couldn't work with her anymore at all well. After I told fleet command that staying on Hammersley was affecting my ability to do my job properly they agreed to me being on land and I asked for it to be a long term thing." Mike says as he stares out the window not once making eye contact with his father.

"How did you get away with that?"

"Told them I had a few moments of second guessing myself when we came across incidents that reminded me of what happened with my kidnapping. Which isn't a lie but with Kate on top of it all it wasn't helping. They know I've still been seeing a councillor over it all." Mike's father looks shocked and surprised at him.

"Yes dad I know shock, horror your son isn't mister invincible and does have some weaknesses. The day before the ceremony, the day of the bombing I went and saw them. I told them how I was feeling, that I was still getting help and that after what had just happened I felt I couldn't do my job fully that today, as in that day had given me some flash backs. The follow day they rang and asked if I would transfer because they couldn't get me a shore posting here and I was fine with it all. With everything that had gone on over that six month period they could understand where I was coming from. I even told them if they didn't take my health and wellbeing into account I would still resign. I even told them to keep Maxine out of the loop till the transfer was done."

"Why didn't you tell us how bad things where? Your mother and I thought things where fine."

"Because that is how I made it look and sound to you both."

"Why?"

"You both had other things to worry about plus I'm an adult, I have to learn to work through these things and accept what I have been dealt."

"So then I take it from that, that Kate has no idea where you are right now, or that you nearly died?"

"No she doesn't and you both know she choose to end it all."

"Yes we do know that but I was hoping you two would have sorted it all out before now."

"Me too, but I refused to go running back when she realised she couldn't marry Jim after he was killed. I couldn't let her play me like that. She knows how I feel about her and she also knows why I choose to do what I did. She has to learn to live with the choices she made, like I have had too as well." He says his voice cracking at the end as he speaks to his father.

The two sit there in the room the only noise coming from the television. Neither talking to each other.

"Hello Mike." The doctor says as he enters the room. Mike then introduces him to his father.

"Right Mike you'll be having physio in about 20minutes. They will do an assessment as well on your right leg. Now I have been speaking with a couple of other doctors and we now think the issues we have with your wounds are due to lack of movement and pressure from being in one position for so long. For this reason I have asked the pyhsio to get you moving some more and if they feel you are ok for it get you out of this bed and into either a wheel chair or the lazy boy that is going to be brought into your room. They will decide how many sessions you have per day." There is a brief moment of no talking between the group as the doctor washes his hands. "Right now let's see how this is looking today shell we. If you feel like it Peter you are more than welcome to leave the room or stay it is your choice."

"I'll stay thanks." He says. The doctor then moves the blanket that is on Mike's leg and lifts the dressing off. Ok it doesn't look any worse than last night. So that is good to see. We will let some air at it while I check the rest of your wounds." He says and then proceeds to check him all over. The three talk some more and by the time the doctor is finished the physio has arrived and Mike's father leaves to allow them to do what they need to do. He lets his son know that they will be back later on to see how he is and bring in some things for him.

**WINDING BACK IN TIME….**

Hammersley has been out at sea for two weeks now and everyone has noticed that their XO is very quiet. She only dishes out the orders as she sees fit. She hardly talks to any of the crew about anything outside of work. She hasn't even been taking any R&R when there has been some unless they have been in port in Cairns then she goes home and when she returns she looks more tired than when she left.

It has now been six weeks since Kate and the crew of Hammersley got a new CO. Everyone is concerned about Kate including Maxine. She has tried to talk to Mike about Kate, but he either hangs up on her or changing the subject. The last time she tried he spat back her saying it was all her fault anyway and why the hell does she care, before slamming the phone and refusing to answer any calls from her.

"Kate its Maxine I would like to see you in my office right away please."

"Can I ask why ma'am?" Kate says as she is busy checking off a list of supplies for Hammersley

"I will tell you when you get here." She says before hanging up on Kate. Kate is left wondering what is going on that Maxine wont's to speak to her. She goes off and changes and then heads off to Navcom to meet up with Maxine.

"Ma'am?" Kate asks her. Maxine notices that Kate has lost some more weight since she last saw her.

"Kate how are you doing?" Kate looks at her, her face saying what you brought me up here to ask me that.

"Is that why you got me up here ma'am was to ask me something you could do over the phone?" She says back her anger present in the way she speaks to her Boss, Maxine just brushes it off.

"No Kate it isn't. Look I'm worried about you."

"You don't need to be ma'am I can look after myself."

"Really well it doesn't look like it from here. When was the last time you had a full night's sleep?" Kate doesn't respond.

"Kate the crew and your CO are worried about you. And to be honest so am I. I left it this long to talk to you hoping you would come to your senses on your own but it looks like it isn't happening. I know that the report back from your councillor said you were fit for duty but we all know what answers to give to those questions to get back to work." Maxine says to Kate as she looks at her watching her face for any sign of change. Kate just looks down at her hands and she plays with them. Maxine gets up from behind her desk and walks around and sits in the chair beside Kate.

"Kate what happened to have you like this? You're not the same Kate McGregor I have had the pleasure of working alongside. You're more the Kate McGregor of years ago." There is silence in the room as Maxine waits to see if Kate will speak. Kate just keeps on steering down at her hands, unable to make eye contact with Maxine afraid that she will see the tears that are threating to fall. 3Tears she struggles to keep under control. Tears she thought she would have run out of by now but so far there is no sign of them stopping.

"Kate please to talk to me, if not as your boss but as a friend. You haven't been yourself since I told you Mike had transferred. Did something happen between the two of you?"

"I didn't believe him when he told me he was still going to transfer. I thought it was just something he said because of everything that had happened."

"Why what happened."

"I did what you wanted me to do I made sure he stayed on Hammersley even though it wasn't what he won't or I. Then a made a few stupid choices after that and then I couldn't talk to him about personal things that as my commanding officer he should have been informed of first but no I told someone else who then told him because I was too worried to be alone with him." Maxine listens as Kate speaks. Her voice quiet and Maxine can tell she is struggling at present.

"What were those choices Kate?" She asks her as she gets up and grabs the box of tissues and passes them to Kate.

"Going out with Jim, and then rubbing some things into Mike. Look I shouldn't be talking to you about these things."

"Kate right now I'm not your boss anything you tell me is between us and I will not use it against either of you." The two sit there and there is a knock on the door and Maxine turns her head around and goes to give the person an earful but is shocked to see who is standing there.

"Captain Marshall" She says as he enters her office. He notices Kate sitting in the chair and also notices she doesn't even turn around to say hello. This sits of warning bells to him.

"Sorry to interrupt would you like to come back later?"

"Yes please. There is an office next to mine that you can use. I will show you to it." Maxine says as she quickly shows him Mike's old office.

"Kate come on talk to me please. You need to talk to someone." Maxine asks as she sits back down in the chair beside Kate.

"You promise not to use this against us?" She asks her voice full of fear and worry.

"No Kate I won't"  
"When you called me into your office about Mike going to fleet command he went because we wanted a future together. After what you said to me I was too scared to say anything to him or do anything else but to tell him that I was having second thoughts and didn't want the same things as him. After that I tried hard to not let myself be alone with him because I was worried he would ask why I did what I did after everything we have been through. Then Jim came around so I started to date him to help me move on. I had a pregnancy scare and the crew knew before Mike and then I had the balls to ask how he would feel if I was, when in fact I knew how he felt on that subject. Then a few days later Jim proposed. I know I should have told him about it straight away even though I hadn't said yes or no yet. Mike should have been told because it would have effected operational decisions but I didn't I told our buffer, who then told him as we were doing away sea boats for an operation. Mike being Mike knew it would piss me off if he made a scene about it in front of the crew he left it. Then when he asked me about the proposal and why I hadn't told him. I… I told him I was seriously considering it. God he looked so hurt, I think if it wasn't for us being in a public place like we were he would have cried he looked so heartbroken all because of me. All because the things we had spoken about doing together I was now doing with someone else and I had not given him any chance of fixing things, to fight for me because I told him not too plus I refused to tell him why I ended it as well. He had to watch me be with someone else right under his nose. Something I shouldn't have done. It wasn't fear on him at all." There is a pause, a period of silence as Maxine just sits there letting her talk about this the way she wont's to without interrupting her. "The day we had the ceremony for Chris and Jim. We talked some more about things. I told him I couldn't marry Jim only him after trying on a dress he asked me why it took a dress of all things to tell me that I couldn't marry Jim. I told him I was fine with Jim changing his life for me but not him. I told him about our meeting where you told me about the rumours and what they could do to his career and how I couldn't let him do that. He wasn't happy that I did that. He told me he loved me but that I choose to end it and that I have to learn to accept it and I can't expect him to come running back to me whenever I see fit. I know it hurt him to walk out my door that day. I just wished things had ended so differently now. And what is worse is we never broke any rules this time around we did everything by the damn bloody book and I've still got nothing. Still miserable and without the man I love." She says tears falling down her face. Maxine sits there realising for the first time since speaking to Kate about Mike going to fleet command that she maybe did the wrong thing by putting the pressure on Kate to end whatever it was that was making Mike resign from the Navy if he didn't get off Hammersley. But she was told to do whatever it took to prevent Mike from resigning and leaving Hammersley.

"Kate go home try and get some sleep and rest. I will get a replacement XO for Hammersley you need some time at home to get better. I'll be around later on to check on you."

"No thank you I need to work, being at home is too hard all I do is think about that day."

"Kate you are going home and that is that and if I have to I will bring a doctor around and have you off work on medical leave it's your choice?" Maxine says as she sends Kate home asking one of the other sailors to drive Kate to the docks to get her gear and then to home.

Once Kate is out of her office Maxine sits down and starts to go over things in her head.

_Well that explains why Mike refuses to talk about Kate then, but why hasn't he said anything to me about it. He's been gone for over six weeks now and it's been two months since that fateful day. God I didn't realise they were that serious about each other. I could tell there was something between them, something more than CO and XO and so I told a white lie. Sometimes this job is not worth it when you end up doing this to friends, co-workers all because someone above you tells you to do whatever it takes to make sure he stays in that CO chair. I should have just called Mike in and told him that the Brass won't him to stay there till the terrorist plot was over with. I shouldn't have used Kate like I did, but then again I knew it would be the only way to get him to stay where he was if I got it across to her that whatever it was that was going on would destroy their careers. I knew talking to him wouldn't work, I knew I had to use other means to do it. I should have told him of his reassignment, not had Kate tell him. No wonder he never came to me and went to fleet command direct._

"How the hell do I fix this? How do I get the two of them to talk to each other? Sort out what is going on between them without losing limbs over it all." She says under her breath and unknown to her is that Captain Steve Marshall has heard her say this.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Stay back in time **___

"_**How the hell do I fix this? How do I get the two of them to talk to each other? Sort out what is going on between them without losing limbs over it all." She says under her breath and unknown to her is that Captain Steve Marshall has heard her say this.**_

Steve stands at the door not sure if he should enter or wait a few more minutes before doing so.

"Maxine what's wrong?" Steve says as he enters the room noticing Maxine looking worried. He shuts the door behind him.

"Nothing to worry yourself with Steve." She replies back to him hoping he will drop the topic.

"I highly doubt that. How is Kate?" Maxine just says nothing to that question

"Well that answers that for me then. She's not handling Mikes transfer well is she?" Maxine just shakes her

"No she isn't. And for the first time in a long time where I wished my job didn't have a role to play in what's going on." Steve sits down puzzled by some of what Maxine has said.

"Maxine sometimes with this job we have to do things we may not like to do to get the job done.

"Yes I know that but I don't like being sent to do the dirty work of others." She says as she gets up and turns around as not to face Steve.

"Maxine care to elaborate on that some more for me please?"

"No not really because it could get several people into a whole lot of trouble."

"Maxine if it has you this wound up you need to talk to someone and not everything we say has to leave this room you know. Sometimes having someone to talk to, can help."

"Look I did as I was told without any information into why I had to do it. Now I have to watch as one of the Navy's finest Lieutenant's wilts away in front of us all and reverts back to the person she was when she first joined. While another moved to Sydney to get away from it all. All because I did my job, did as the higher ups told me to do even though I told them I didn't like doing it without knowing the ins and outs of it all. But I got told I had no choice I had to do whatever it took to make sure they both stayed on Hammersley in their positions, then all of a sudden a few days after the bomb going off and losing two officers Mike is transferring to Sydney. How do you think I feel about that I get told to do something get told I'm not allowed to have him here at NAVCOM for at least another year then bang he's gone I'm trying to find a replacement and still they refuse to tell me what the hell was going back then to prevent Kate's promotion and also Mike having to stay on Hammersley." Maxine rattles off to him, as she sits back down in her chair at her desk.

"Look Steve ever since fleet command told me I had to do whatever it took to make sure Mike stayed on Hammersley. I've watched their relationship get strained. To the point were at times Mike was doing boarding's instead of Kate. I've even had reports from Madeline Cruise about how Mike was towards Kate and vice a versa at times. And when Jim was on board how their working partnership would be even more strained. I wasn't allowed to know the really reason for him having to stay and I feel horrible for lying to both of them." She says crossly, Steve can tell she isn't cross at him just cross in general over the whole situation at hand one she had to play a Muppet in, a role that he also wasn't happy to have her playing.

"Maxine this went over all our heads. Even the Chief had to do as he was told on this one Maxine."

"So Ms Cruise was behind it all was she? She loved having the power she did over what was going on." Maxine looks at Steve.

"Well since it is over with now I suppose I can tell you. But this information is not for everyone's ears Maxine."

"What about Mike and Kate?" He sits there thinking for a few minutes before he answers.

"I would prefer they didn't find out unless they really have to Maxine." She rolls her eyes into the back of her head at what he has just said.

"Look Maxine this goes above the Navy and even ASIO heads. We got sent orders from the government. After the bombing at the Luga Bar, and then the attempted sinking of Hammersley. The PM set up a specialised team to secretly go through everything that ASIO, the AFP, even what we had on the bombing. His team decided that Hammersley was the best team to use after what had happened with the bombing and of course Mike and Kate's track record. The PM then rang the Chief and told him what was to happen. We may have free run to do as we please but if he rings and says jump we say how high and how far. Because of this Kate was unable to be accepted for promotion. Between the lists getting to you guys and then Mike going to Fleet Command the team that was set up by the PM had found some interesting things. When we found out what Mike had done and had threaten to resign the PM got a tad grumpy and told us he was not to leave no matter what and to do whatever it took to make him stay on Hammersley. That is when we got you involved. Being a close friend of Mike's we hoped you would have a lot more power over getting him to stay on. Plus you would know he well. What we hoped for worked and he stayed though had we known what we do now we would have supported him and told the PM that his health was at risk." Maxine sits there semi shocked.

"His health what do you mean Steve?"

"Don't you know?"

"Know what?" She says sounds worried and cross at the same time.

"Mike when he first came to fleet command did not inform us that he was still seeking help after his kidnapping. When he came back to fleet command on the day of the bombing he informed us that after finding out he was unable to get off he had periods of second guessing himself, and as time went on his appointments with the councillor became more regular. He may have managered to show everyone that he was fine where in fact he wasn't. The bombing that killed two fine officers of the defence force was the final straw for him. I got his report from the councillor he was seeing later that night and it was noted down that he was showing signs of PTSD due to the events of the last six months. And she recommended an immediate shore posting for him. So I sorted it out and thank god we had a sick instructor in Sydney so a space had come up. I then rang his councillor and spoke to him at length and ask him if he thought Mike would be able to command a boat again. He said he would go over his file and then write a report for me."

"Will he ever step back on board a boat again as CO?" Maxine asks

"The report is interesting he can't say yes or no. Really it is up to Mike."

"Shit I never knew that his kidnapping had such an effect on him. But I should have noticed the change in him after they had to deal with their Electronics technician was trapped in a sub, he seemed a tad off when they were in my office, and he hardly spoke or made eye contact with myself and Kate. I should have picked it up then that it might have been a trigger. Bloody Mike Flynn." Maxine says shaking her head.

"That's Mike for you. But thank goodness he was seeking help even if he came across as everything is fine."

"Yea we've had a shit six months that is for sure and for him not just work wise but on a more personal level."

"Yes I heard about that."  
"Yea it was a total shock to all of us, Ryan took it the hardest."

"Well when I found out that Ryan had to be posted off because of Mike being his biological father, and then I did some digging and found out that it come about because of his father being sick with leukaemia and that was what was behind his AWOL status we had a lengthy meeting at Canberra and it was decided since it was out of his control, and given the type of news he got and I would say most people Ryan's age would have reacted the same way he did. That it would not be held against him if he decided he wanted to come back. To get the news that your father is dying to then find out you're not a match and oh by the way he isn't your real father must have been a shock to him."

"Not just for him but for all of us as Stewart did the test behind our backs. We had no idea till he told us, well told me, then Ryan. I was left with the task of telling Mike who was the last one to find out about it all." The two sit there talking some more Steve filling her in on what had been going on till Madeline was arrest before her phone ringing interrupts them both.

_**BACK TO THE PRESENT**_

Mike has been hospital for two days now. He is enjoying his pyhsio session as it gets him out of his room and off mixing with other people but it is painful for him. But he is surprised that Maxine hasn't made a visit yet to see him. He was sure she would make an appearance yesterday but she didn't show. He wonders if she will turn up today.

As he is busy watching the T.V he starts to wonder if he should call Kate and talk to her since he is in Cairns.

_Is it wise calling her? _

_Will she think I won't back with her? _

_How will she react if I don't tell her the house is on the market and she sees it?_

_How has she been coping since I left?_

Mike is away with his thoughts that he doesn't notice someone standing at his door to his room watching him, watching the change of emotions over his face and that faraway look. The ringing of the mobile phone brings him out of his thoughts as he turns his head towards the door as the person answers the phone. They stay standing there as they talk on the phone.

"What took you so long?" he says to Maxine.

"I had things to do yesterday and by the time I was free it was late."

"Never stopped you before." He says his voice short and sharp to her.

"Mike when are you going to stop talking to me like that. I told you it wasn't my decision that I was over ruled in what happened re your posting."

"You could have been honest with me at the start instead of using Kate like you did."

"I'm sorry, how many times do I have to say that before you will start believing me. For Christ sakes Mike, Kate's forgiven me why the hell can't you?"

"Because unlike Kate I thought we were friends, close friends Maxine. You used Kate, she knew what the hell was going before I did. She knew me being reassigned for another twelve months before me, and then you used her to make sure I stayed where you wanted me to be."

"It wasn't my decision Mike, God Mike you can be so damn bloody stubborn at times it isn't funny. Mike the Navy had no choice over it ok they did as they were told. Now how are you?"

"Would be better if I was back home in Sydney, why the hell did I get brought here?" He says to her his voice cross.

"Because here I can keep an eye on you. Plus you have a home here Mike it might be awhile before you back at work." He says nothing in reply to her for a few moments

"Maxine I'm in Sydney now not Cairns why couldn't you let me return back there."

"Because I couldn't Mike, you're going to need someone around depending on your leg. At least here I can visit and help you out if you need it. Plus it gives me time to get back into your good books."

"Maxine." Mike starts to say but Maxine cuts him off.

"No Mike you're going to listen to me. I didn't like doing what I had to do but I had orders to follow and so I followed them. You're not the only one that had to sit back and watch as your partnership with Kate got strained and then when you left and didn't tell her, I watched as she lost weight and bet herself up over it all."

"Maxine she made the choice and she knew I was transferring I told her the day of Chris and Jims service on the docks. She knew I could no longer work with her."

"Yes but you never told anyone you were suffering from the early symptoms of PTSD either. I had to hear that from Captain Steve Marshall of all people. Bloody hell Mike was things that bad that you had to hide it from all of us?" Maxine says her voice turning soft and worried by the end of her spiel. Mike looks the other way, looks out his window. The room is in silence again par the sound of the TV playing quietly in the room.

"Look Mike, I'm sorry I had a hand to play in it all."

"Maxine no one knew because that is how I won't it to be. I had no choice but to be in charge of Hammersley, if anyone of them knew what I was going through and how it was getting worse I highly doubt the crew would have followed my orders, plus you told me I wasn't allowed off till the end of my twelve months no matter what came up, so what else was I meant to do."

"You could have talked to me Mike as a friend not your boss. God if I had known you had signs of PTSD I would have put my foot down backed you up, supported you in getting off Hammersley. Though with everything that was going on I should have noticed the signs, should have realised that it would have been getting too much for you to handle or deal with."

"Maxine you were tied up with what was going on with Steward; you still love him and always will you were married for ten years before the split."

"Yea I know but I should have paid more attention to what was going around me in general Mike. Anyway does Kate know your house is on the market?"

"How did you know?"

"Your mother told me yesterday when she came in for your laptop which reminds me, here you go." She says as she picks up the laptop and places it on the table beside his bed."

"Thanks Maxine."

"So back to my questions have you told Kate?"

"No I haven't."

"Mike you should tell her about the house and your injuries."

"No Maxine."

"Mike, Hammersley was sent up when we heard of the bombing to help with relief and transporting. Melbourne was even used to a point."

"Yea I heard my day nurse is from the Melbourne."

"Mike I recommend you ring her and talk to her, tell her that you're ok."

"Maxine?"  
"No Mike, there is a lot of talk about this bombing, people died Mike. Hammersley would have heard all about the sailors that were injured and who they were more so when they saw the Chandlers sitting in the port with no CO on board, and XO that had only just started. Their buffer being treated on HMAS Melbourne along with two other sailors."

There is nothing said between the two.

"Maxine what aren't you telling me?" He asks knowing the look that is on her face, she is hiding something from him.

"Mike she knows you were injured."

"What you told her?" he says crossly to her.

"No she found out when I had to ring her and tell her that she was acting CO of Chandlers, and that the Chandlers was required to help transport the injured back and any other Australian that wanted to return home. Fleet Command has left her as acting CO as they are transporting supplies and relief workers back and forth to help with the clean up? Plus how else would I have gotten your laptop and stuff back to you if she didn't bring it to me."

"Have they found who or what was behind the explosion?" He says trying to change the topic of conversation and Maxine allows him to do this.

"They're not sure yet but they think a leaking gas tank exploded and caused the explosion when the gas got in contact with a flame. Once I know more I will let you know"

"So who's the XO on Hammersley then if Kate is on Chandlers?"

"One of the Lieutenants of Melbourne is helping out."

"Mike you should ring her and talk to her."

"How I no longer have a mobile." He says hoping that the fact his mobile is in a million pieces might get Maxine off his back.

"Here you go a replacement." She says as she passes him his new mobile phone, the replacement for the one that was destroyed. "Oh and all your important numbers have been programmed in including Kate's." She says.

"Look I need to head back to NAVCOM, give her a ring Mike. Unless you want me to tell her your room number?" he looks at Maxine cross as.

"Fine then I give up I will ring her but when I feel ready too."

"Mike you nearly died don't leave things unsaid and unresolved between the two of you, sort it out for the both of you. You deserve to be happy Mike." She says before leaving, he rolls his eyes and shakes his head before turning to look out the window again, while holding his new mobile phone. He sits there thinking to himself as Maxine leaves. Thinking about if he should ring her.

_What do I say to her? She would have found the photo of the two of us that was under my pillow, what will she think of that?_

He gentles moves and pulls the table over his bed and opens his laptop bag up and starts to set it up. He opens the laptop up and a white envelope is visible, he has his name hand written on it, the writing being so familiar to him that he can't mistake that it is from Kate. He is not sure what to do and thank god for him the nurse walks in to take him down to his pyhsio session. This giving him the time to think about things.

_**WINDGIN BACK IN TIME…**_

It has been six weeks since Kate talked to Maxine. She took a week off and pulled herself together with the help of Maxine. She has been working hard on proving them wrong in not promotion her. She has been tackling everything with a new sass for life. Even the new CO is letting her take control of Hammersley and decides how things will be done since she has spoken o him about her desire to get her promotion this time and make sure they can't use the lack of being in command as the reason. For her new CO he is fine with this, fine for her to get the experience and for her to ask to do this shows to him how serious she is about getting it this time around.

Maxine though hasn't told Kate why she never got it deciding not to go there with her as she doesn't need any more stress on top of what she has been going through. Plus she still trying to get Mike to believe her and if he isn't then how will Kate. But she did tell Kate that she had no say in over Mike staying that it was over their heads, which for Kate was some relief to find out Maxine didn't have anything to do with it and that she was following orders herself. It made what she did feel better she was following orders not, orders not form Maxine but from higher up. She did tell Maxine she thought it might have been a personal thing with her not wanting Mike off the ship and Maxine told her otherwise. Told her that was twenty years ago the spark is no longer there, they may share a bond, a son but they don't love each other in that sort of way.

It was late afternoon as Hammersley was cruising back to port for a few hours of R&R before loading supplies first thing and returning back to sea, when they were sitting down with the news playing with a breaking news report come over showing the bombing in Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea. What they think is a bombing at the time.

They show pictures of fire, destroyed shops, injured people. They then talk about how one of the Australian Naval Boat was in port at the time. Kate walks out of the room and heads to the Co to inform him of what has just happened, knowing full well that since a Naval Boat is up there and with the amount of destruction shown they may be tasked to help out with relief.

Unknown to everyone on Hammersley is that Mike has been injured. For Maxine she was talking to him when the explosion happened. She was disconnected when Mike hits the ground. She rung Chandlers straight away to find out that some of their sailors where on shore leave, but the RO said he would call them all back and record who was missing and then set to work of helping. She informs him that she requires a list of those that do not respond to the message.

It becomes busy for Navcom in Cairns as Maxine starts getting hold of her other patrol boats to find out where they are, she sends Melbourne to Port Moresby to help out with any medical injuries that are not life treating enough that they need the local hospital for any of the Australians that have been affected by it.

She knows it is going to be a long night and she worries about Mike, has he been injured? Is he alive or not. She knows it was bloody close to him just by the sound that she heard through the phone.


	6. Chapter 6

_**STILL BACK IN TIME **_

Hammersley arrives in Cairns to Maxine waiting at the docks for them.

"Kate, Bill sorry to have to sent you straight back out. You're off to Port Moresby to help provide whatever help they need from us, including these supplies." She says to them as the crew work on loading up the supplies that she has had prepared for them. Being the Navy they always have supplies on hand for emergencies like this one.

Maxine also notices Kate looking a tad off colour and once she had finished giving the two their orders, she pulls Kate aside to talk to her.

"Kate you ok?"

"Yea I think so." She says as she quickly turns her head to make sure the crew aren't slacking off with loading the supplies.

"You are looking pale. Have you been eating properly?"

"Yes I have, It sort of came on about an hour and a half ago. Just this weird feeling, as if something has happened to someone I know, but I have no idea who." She says to Maxine, who wants to say something to Kate about Mike, but she has no information as of yet.

"Have you and Mike spoken since he left?"

"No he has cut all contact. I did email him, but I got nothing back from him." She says hanging her head down.

"When was that?"

"About two weeks ago. Look Ma'am, I really should get back to work. So we can set sail." Kate says as her tone of voice changes back to her Officer Tone. The one used for work and Maxine knows that it is time to let her get back to work.

Thirty minutes later Hammersley is sailing again.

Maxine is in her office, when her phone rings and she answers it,

"Commander White, Lieutenant Brad Grey XO of Chandlers, we have a problem."

"And what is that Lieutenant?"

"Our RO has informed me that you know what has happened in Port Moresby?"

"Yes I do know. I rang him and asked him to let me know what sailors were unaccounted for."

"Well Ma'am, we are minus five in total." Maxine is in shock, five sailors

"Do you have names?"

"Yes Ma'am I do."

"And who are they Lieutenant and what are their ranks." She can tell from the way he is talking that this is all new to him, and that he is still trying to get things together as XO. Now most likely being in charge since it isn't Mike who has rung, like she was hoping.

"We are minus our CO Mike Flynn. I can't get hold of him."

"That is ok Lieutenant. He was near the explosion area. I was on the phone to him when it happened." She says trying to reassure the Lieutenant, who is sounding worried and scared all at the same time.

"No Ma'am, he wasn't there. Not when I was down there." This sets alarm bells off for her.

"Ok who else is unaccounted for at present?"

"Our buffer and three able seamens. Our medic and second medic are helping them out."

"That is good to hear. Melbourne is on its way to your location and can help with any medical needs that are required. I will fax through their location and estimate ETA to you guys. Hammersley has just left Cairns with supplies on board. Lieutenant you can do this, you are in charge till we can get hold Commander Flynn."

"Ma'am, I've only been on here for three weeks I have no idea what I am doing?"

"Lieutenant you are anchored in port your job is to provide whatever help is needed. Now get back to helping them." She says to him as they say there good byes and hang up.

_God Mike__,__ I hope you are ok, it is not like you to __not__ get word back__,__ even more so when you were on the phone to me._

_**Port Moresby.**_

"Boss stay with me."

"Bloody hell Mike, Kate will kill me if anything happens to you. Now stay with me." The person says again as he applies pressure to Mike's wound. Mike mumbles his words semi soft and hard to understand.

"What!" Mike says after he gets a slap in the face.

"I told you to stay with me Boss, Kate will not be happy with me if I let you die now will she? Now you have to stay awake."

"Buff tell her, tell her I'm sorry." Mike managers to get out before passing out again, and this time when Buff slaps him he doesn't come to.

A few minutes later an ambulance arrives and Buff yells at them to come to him. He explains what is going on and also that the leg has had previous injuries.

"Sir, you're injured too. We should look at you as well."

"No deal with him first, I can wait." They talk and he gives details.

"Look Sir, let me look at those injuries now will you?"

"Please don't call me Sir; I work for a living! Pete is my name. And I'm fine. Go deal with the others that require more urgent treatment. I'll get our ships medic to look at me." He says to the paramedic.

A few minutes later, Chandlers Medic and second Medic turn up to leaned a hand. Buff helps out with moving people, even though he is injured.

"Buff, stop that let me look at you."

"I'm fine Johnny."

"No you're not Buff! Now come and sit down and let me have a look at your wounds." Johnny, the Chandlers Medic says and Buff knows he has no choice.

"Ok I've looked over them all, some of them are deep. You know the drill right, you feel dizzy, ill, hot or anything else that is not normal you come and find me IMMEDIATELY! Ok, Buff."

"Yes."

"Now! Have you seen the CO?" Jim asks

"Yes in an ambulance on the way to hospital, nasty leg wound, he passed out on me."

"Damn, I just got word from our XO who is unsure what to do we need to help him through this, also Hammersley is on their way here from Cairns with supplies and to help us out."

"Oh god no!" Pete says. Hammersley means Kate, and he knows things aren't good between Mike and her right now.

"Buff? What's wrong? Is there something I should know?"

"Nothing to worry yourself with Johnny." Buff sits there for a few moments sorting his head out before deciding to worry about it later. He is needed to help out with getting people out of the collapsed buildings and surrounding areas. As he walks off he texts his XO letting him know he is fine and where the CO is.

_**An hour later**_

"Maxine White Speaking"

"Commander White Lieutenant Brad Grey speaking."

"What can I do for you Lieutenant?"

"I have been informed that our CO was transported to hospital and we have three injured sailors."

"How bad are the injuries?"

"Not too bad our medic has checked them out and they are helping as required."

"Ok thank you, Lieutenant, I will get in touch with the local hospital and find out how Commander Flynn is doing." They say a few more things before they hang up.

An hour later, two hours after the explosion, Buffer is in one of the buildings helping check it for any trapped people when it collapses on him. Due to people being there they are able to get him out quickly, but on examination the Chandlers Medic notices far more concerning injuries caused by the building collapsing on him. The local hospital is unable to take him, luckily HMAS Melbourne is twenty minutes away. Johnny the Chandlers Medic works to keep him stable as the doctor on Melbourne tells him what to do.

For Hammersley the trip to Port Moresby was routine for all. They kept up to date on what was going on. They knew Chandlers was there on a good will visit, but didn't know that sailors had been injured yet. The whole time Kate has this odd feeling in her stomach as if something has happened to someone she knows, someone close to her, but as far as she is aware no one she knows was hurt in the explosion which at present is being treated as a bombing.

Kate refuses to watch the news and only listens to the reports RO gets back from Cairns Base.

_**BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY**_

Mike is down in the rehab rooms; his physiotherapist is working with him. She has noticed that he is not as well focused as he normal is for his sessions; he's not trying to push the boundaries or ask to do more. To her he's not even trying that hard as if he has something else on his mind.

Which in Mike's case is true; all he can think about is that envelope that is sitting on his laptop in his room. The same one he wasn't sure if he did want to open it but now, he wants to know what she has written to him, good or bad. Before he knows it his session has finished and he is heading back to his room.

Once he is sitting down on this bed he picks up the envelope…..

_**WINDING BACK IN TIME**_

It is early the following morning when Hammersley arrives at Port Moresby, they line up against the port right behind Chandlers, HMAS Melbourne being docked on the other side and then they get to work straight away with unloading the supplies they have brought with them. It maybe early in the morning but the town is still a buzz with activity. The locals are pleased with the supplies.

Kate takes 2Dads and their Medic Ricky Rafter with them to the hospital with more supplies. They are pleased to see them as they are starting to run very low on some things and are out on others. They have more coming from their suppliers but they won't arrive till sometime during daylight hours. The hospital is still a buzz of activity with patients scattered throughout the place all grouped in seriousness of their injuries, with regular checks to make sure none of them have gotten worse.

The Hammersley Medic Picky offers to help patch up the ones with basic wounds that just need cleaning and dressing, Bird stays and helps them do this. The hospital's doctors being very grateful for the extra set of hands. The doctors and nursing all knowing that the sooner wounds can be cleaned the less chance of infection setting in.

Ricky along with Bird slowly make their way through the patients with basic wounds, they clean them and dress each of them, before sending them back to the waiting room to wait to see the doctor before being discharged. The patients are in the system as coming in and so they can't sent them home one of the hospitals own doctors has to do that.

Back at Hammersley Kate is helping sort out the rest of the Hammersley team, she sends a Dutchy, Charge and a few other sailors over to help clean and go through all the wreckage from the explosion. Dutchy with his experience with bombs being high valued she has no choice but to send him, cause if there is another one then he will be able to do something with it before it causes more harm.

When Dutchy gets there along with Charge and a few other sailors, they are shocked to see the wide extend of damage done. They see some of the Chandlers crew working away helping go through everything. So they get to work. They see bodies covered with tarps and it brings back memories to them of the bombing in Samjung Island. They quickly put it aside and get to work helping out the locals.

For the local people and government they are happy to see the Australian Navy come in and help out like they. Providing relief, support and in general helping out with the horrible task of finding bodies.

Daylight starts to dawn on the town of Port Moresby and the full extent of the damage is finally able to be seen. The centre of the explosion is situated near a where a Gas tank is normal kept, and also were several local cafés and restaurants that are frequently support by the locals and those who know about them out side of the town.

As Dutchy looks around he starts to think, he then goes and talks to the local police about what he thinks. This was no accident he reckons, simple because if the tank had been leaking it would have gone off sooner and not at a busy time for the cafes and restaurants that have an early rush through. He tells them it was set up to look like an accident that whoever did this knew when it was best to hit to get maximum damage and effect. He also informs them not to tell the press, if they ask say it looks like an accident. Dutchy also knows in his gut that there should be a second device somewhere, a second trigger to get the first lot of responders but that hasn't happened yet. He grabs Charge and quickly whisper to him what he wants to do and what they looking for, they start checking where they have the evacuation point to see if there is anything around that could be classed as a secondly device. They know from experience there is always a secondary device a backup if they mean business they always have a backup plan in place.

**CAIRNS**

Maxine has been on the phone several times to the hospital in Port Moresby trying to get updates on Mike. And finally she now has some information on him.

"Sir, Commander White speaking I finally have an update on Commander Flynn."

"What is his current condition?"

"Between all the small wounds on his body his right leg sustained a large impact wound which caused him to lose a fear amount of blood, due to the blood lose I was told he passed out. They have decided for the kept in a medical induce coma for a few days to give his body time to get over the blood lose and surgery. Also Chandlers is down a Buffer, and two other sailors with injuries. The Buffer, Petty Officer Boson Pete Tomaszewski is now on HMAS Melbourne, while helping the locals go through building looking for survives a building collapsed on him and he has a broken leg and arm, and a number of cuts. Melbourne said he is stable. We need to find a CO for Chandlers their Executive Officer is new to all this and I can tell from the updates we have had that they are way out of their depth with this."

"Yes I agree and Fleet Command also agrees we have decided between us that we will put Lieutenant Kate McGregor on Chandlers as Acting CO. Be a good time for her to prove her worth don't you think?" Maxine says nothing the shock that Kate is going onto the boat Mike is meant to be on.

"Commander White are you there?"

"Oh yes sorry. I will let her know then, but that would mean no XO for Hammersley?"

"There is a Lieutenant on Melbourne that can fill in for her."

"And who is that?"

"Lieutenant Nikki Caetano. She has previously worked on Hammersley so she will fit in with the crew easily, and has the experience so can do the role."

"Right then I will get on to telling them all." The two say their goodbyes.

Maxine sits at her desk and wonders how she is going to tell Kate what she has to tell her. _Kate is going to know it was Mike injured if I don't tell her myself because as soon as she walks into that cabin she will see his gear in there. This is going to be harder than I thought. How is she going to handle being around items that have his smell, that are personal to him. Sometimes I hate this job. But then again these two should have sorted things out by now. But Mike being Mike he is too pig headed and stubborn for his own good at times._

Several minutes later she rings Melbourne and informs them of what is going on and of the transfer of one of their Navigators to Hammersley, she then rings Chandlers and talks to the XO and informs him that he is getting an acting CO for the time being, and she can hear the relief that he will soon no longer be in charge was over him. She does tell him though that being 2IC does mean at times taking command in situations like this or when needed at any other time. He says he does understand that but he was hoping that the first time he had to do this he would have been with the crew a lot longer and have more understanding on how to rung the boat, and crew. Experience he says he needs as 2IC before becoming the boss.

Now for Maxine it is the final call, time to ring Hammersley and let them know what is happening, well Kate more than anything she's already rung the CO and told him of the changes but she has left Kate till last, all because she has no idea in hell how she is going to go about this. If this was any other two sailors it would be simple, but with these two, two people who were, no are in love with each other. Two people who have worked together in the same job that has also kept them apart.

Maxine finally dials Kate mobile number, as she knows Kate is not on the boat but out helping.

The ringing of her mobile stops Kate in her tracks and she takes it out of her pocket, as she looks at the screen she sees MAXINE WHITE flash up. _Why is she ringing me_ she thinks to herself as she answers it.

"Kate McGregor speaking" She says as she answers the phone.

"Kate its Maxine."

"What can I do for you Ma'am?" Kate replies back to her in her more professional voice, not in the mood for personal talk right now.

"You need to collect your things from Hammersley and take over as CO of Chandlers."

"Pardon ma'am?" Kate says her voice full of shock.

"Fleet Command is putting you on Chandlers as acting CO for the time being." There is silence between the two while Kate sorts her head out.

"Ma'am where is Lieutenant Commander Neil Plunkett?" Kate asks, trying to figure out why Chandlers CO is not there

"He's on medical leave has been for the last three weeks, didn't you know?"

"No Ma'am we've not had to have any deals with Chandlers in the last few weeks."

"Well they have a replacement CO, who's been injured in the explosion. So you need to take over their XO is new Kate so you will need to explain things more to him."

"Ma'am if I'm transferring to Chandlers as CO, Hammersley will be without an XO a ship stopper I can't do that." She says. She really wants to do the CO's job on Chandlers but also doesn't want to leave Hammersley without their XO.

"That is already sorted Kate, Melbourne have a spare Lieutenant who is more than capable at doing your job. Kate this is your chance to prove to them that you are more than capable of being a CO. This is your chance to shine and show them what a mistake they made by not giving you the promotion on the grounds that you didn't have enough experience." Maxine says other, she knows that once Kate steps on board she will know Mike is the one injured but right now she needs to get Kate to agree to do it first then she will tackle the Mike issue.

"Ok Maxine I will do it, when do I take over."

"Right now Kate, but also there is one other thing you should know of and it's got to do with Mike."

"And what is that." She says not to impressed Maxine is bringing him up at a time like this.

"Kate please don't be like that."

"You know what happened between us why bring this up while we are out here working."

"Because Kate he was the Co on Chandlers."  
"Oh god no." Kate says her voice full of fear. As she sits down and places her head on one of her hands.

"Kate?" Maxine says as she listens to Kate trying to get her breathing back under control.

"Maxine how bad is it?" she mangers to get out.

"How much do you know?"

"All I know is that Chandlers Co was rushed to hospital with a nasty leg wound and had passed, out there Buffer is on Melbourne along with two other sailors. I got no names as all I asked was how many injured and where they were. I got a simple break down."

"He's out of surgery and is in a drug induced coma. He lost a lot of blood. From what I have been told he got a nasty impact wound on his right leg in the same place as his injury a few years ago."

"Is he in the hospital here or was he airlifted but to home?"

"No he's in hospital there Kate he wasn't stable enough to be airlifted if they did operate right away he would have died. Kate be strong ok. You have a job to do and you can do it. I believe in you Kate and I know you can do it." Maxine says trying to provide some comfort to Kate. Kate just sits there and says nothing, Maxine stays on the line with her nothing being said between each other, but Maxine can tell from Kate's breathing she is needing some time to process and get herself together and if being on the phone to Maxine provides her with some cover so be in. Plus for Maxine it is the least she can do, after being such a cow to towards Kate over the whole Mike issue at the start. She is now trying to make it up to both of them. She wants to make sure that she isn't the reason that if the two get together again for them splitting up. She wants Kate to feel comfortable around her, even more so now that they know for sure that Ryan is Mike's biological father.

"Ok thank you Ma'am I will get my gear and transfer does the Chandlers now what is going on?"

"Yes they do. I've already informed them all, including your replacement for Hammersley. By the way Kate, Mike is in ICU go see him."

"I will thank you." The two say there good byes and Kate quick moves off back to Hammersley to get her stuff over to Chandlers.

Fifteen minutes later she is stepping on board Chandlers and heads off to the CO's cabin to put her gear before finding out where the rest of the crew is and what they are doing.

What Kate wasn't ready for was the flood of emotions that hit her when she walked in and smelt his sent through the small cabin. When she walked into the small bathroom finding his personal items on the shelf it reminded her of more personal time. She can't help but have a few tears fall down her face. She tells herself to pull it together, if not for herself for Mike. She then proceeds to the Bridge to find out what is going on.

Several hours

The work the crews are doing has calmed down. They are working in shift to help finishing sifting through what is left of the buildings and providing whatever other support is needed. Kate has found out that Nikki is the XO for Hammersley and that Chandlers buffer is her old Buffer Pete.

It is mid-afternoon before she makes it to the local hospital and up to the ICU ward to see Mike.

"Excuse me what room is Michael Flynn in?" Kate asks the nurse at the station.

"Room 6" The nurse says,

Kate heads off towards the room. As she gets to the door she sees Mike lying flat on his back, tube down his throat and machines around him beeping.

"You can go in you know?" Says the nurse as she comes out of his room.

"You sure?" Kate asks sounding unsure about it all.

"Yes I am. Go talk to him." The nurse says again before walking away.

Kate quietly walks into the room, of course just before she entered Dutchy and Nikki saw her back, but neither calls out to her, as they have no idea really what to say to her right now. They slow down their walking as they head towards Mike's room.

Inside the room Kate takes one of the chairs and places it close to Mike's bed before sitting down it in. She's not sure what to say to him, as tears start to fall down her face. She then takes his hand in hers.

"I've missed you so much." She finally speaks to him.

"You have to survive please. We really need to talk and sort things out please." She says and she gets up off the chair, leans over and places a kiss on his forehead. "Please baby can you just make it. I can't live without you. Seeing you here like this is bringing back so many memories from the last time you were in this type of situation." She says as she gentle runs her hand through his hair. She move the chair and then sits back down again and keeps running her hand through his hair as she lets the tears flow.

Dutchy and Nikki watch on from outside the room when the XO of Chandlers turns up and another sailor.

"Why are you guys standing outside Commander Flynn's room?" The X asks Dutchy and Nikki.

"We're family." Is all Nikki says to this guy before eyeing him up.

"Hang on why is Lieutenant McGregor in there with him?" He then asks

"Long story. Short version they've known each other for over ten years, five of those have been on Hammersley." Nikki replies back sharply, which even puts Dutchy on edge for a second. Before he relaxes.

He goes to enter but Dutchy stops him. And the X of Chandlers gives him this look then speaks

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Leave her alone in there. She needs some alone time with him." Dutchy says.

"You can't stop me from going in there?"

"No I can't but she can make your life hell if you go in there right now." He starts to push the door open.

"I mean in Lieutenant you go in there be prepared for her to let rip into you. I warned you."

"I agree with Dutchy on this one Lieutenant it would be best to leave her alone for now." He ignores the two and walks into the room.

"What are you doing in here Lieutenant weren't you told not to enter?" She asks her voice extremely firm sounding with a hint of crossness to it.

"Yes Ma'am they did say not to come in."

"OK why did you ignore two officers who know me well?" She says as she turns to look at him, he does not reply.

"Answer me Lieutenant." She comes across strongly with her voice. She is bringing out her officers tone.

"Look we maybe the same rank but right now I am your boss and if I ask you a question I expect an answer." She crossly says to her XO

"Yes….ma'am." He mangers to get out.

"And watch your SYNTAX too Lieutenant. Now you were instructed to not enter and I would appreciate it if you left right now and I do not want to see you till I return to Chandlers." She says to him her voice strong and the tone tells him to do as he is told. HE doesn't even bother to say anything before entering.

"God what is up her nose?" He says as he leaves the room.

"Lieutenant Grey I would watch what you say. If you want to keep your job." She says back through the door without even leaving the room.

"You're lucky that is all you got from her. I recommended you do not cross her Lieutenant. She is the one and only princess perfect." Nikki says she knows she can get away with saying Kate's ADFA nickname without getting an earful. "And right now she is your boss." Nikki says before entering the room to talk to talk to Kate.

The lieutenant walks away not very happy at all.

"Excuse me; do you know how he is doing?" The other sailor that came with the Lieutenant asks, having witness the whole thing and knew better than to answer back.

"No sorry we don't that is why we are here. Don't worry your CO will be fine and your new CO will keep you up to date." Dutchy says to the young sailor before the three head off leaving Kate alone with Mike.


	7. Chapter 7

"I want him transferred to the Melbourne before it sails in a few hours"

"I'm sorry Ma'am but he can't be transferred right now, he is in a medical induce coma."

"HMAS Melbourne has everything that is needed for him so make it happen."

"I'm sorry ma'am but it isn't going to happen."

"Oh it will, he will not be staying in your run down make sift so called ICU unit any longer than he has too."

"Ma'am"

"Don't Ma'am me you are happy to transfer other patients but not Commander Flynn?'

"As I stated before Commander Flynn is not able to be transferred yet once we wake him up in a couple of days we can then let you know when he could be transferred."

"Right then I won't a copy of his file sent to me so I can then get it viewed by doctors here and then they can advise me on what is best for him."

"I can't do that ma'am I can only let those go to his doctor."

"Well then fax them through to Cairns General Hospital Attention Naval Department it will then go straight to the correct person. Number is …" Maxine rattles off the fax number for the local hospital. She isn't at all impressed she can't get Mike onto Melbourne to get him transferred back to Cairns. She is sure Melbourne can handle him and his care without any issues. But right now she is more concerned about getting his file checked out by doctors here and find out if they think he is ok to travel and when. She wants him out of Port Moresby as soon as she can, she knows the hospital there is not up to scratch and if he doesn't move soon he is at more risk of complications from poor hygiene.

**2100hours the same day**

"CO" Kate says as she picks up the phone in her cabin

"Ma'am, Commander White for you."

"Put her through please, thanks RO." She says, and waits for the call to be put through to her.

"Kate McGregor speaking."

"Kate it's Maxine how you doing?"

"Ok, Mike doesn't look good." Kate says as she rests her head on her hand, her elbow on the desk in front of her.

"You went and saw him."

"I had to. Maxine why isn't he on the Melbourne yet, plus why is she still sitting here in port?" She asks Maxine

"The doctors won't let him be transferred I delayed their departure hoping to get Mike on board. I know the hospital there is not up to scratch and I'll do my best to get him back home as soon as I can." There is silence between the two.

"Kate I have your orders for tomorrow you're to set sail for Cairns at 0900hours to drop off any Australian residents that won't to return, they have been told to be at the docks no later than 0800horus. Melbourne is getting ready to sail without Mike I'm sorry." She hears Kate trying to hold back the sob. "How is the Chandlers crew being with another CO in charge?"

"Don't get me started my 2IC is driving me insane. I now understand why Mike was like he was with me at the start."

"You'll get through it Kate. I know you will."

"I know I can do my job Maxine but..." She stops not really sure what to say "Will you keep me updated on how Mike is doing and when you can possible get him back home."

"I can do Kate. When you return to Cairns can you bring in Mike's gear form his cabin for me please? And I will also at the same time give you your next set of orders."

"Excuse me ma'am, my next set of orders?"

"Yes I have managered to persuade fleet Command in allowing you to stay on as acting CO for a little longer. We have been asked to help with supplies and such over the next week or so, so I suggest that this be a good time for you get more hands on experience." Kate says nothing in return.

"Ma'am what aren't you telling me?" Maxine says nothing in return.

"Maxine what aren't you tell me?" Kate says again a tad firmer.

"Your Buffer from Hammersley is sure that yesterday's explosion was no accident even though it is coming across as one. He is sure there will be another attack. He is right Kate a Gas tank just doesn't explode for no reason at a high traffic time for the cafes and the start of the evening for the restaurants in that area."

"Bloody great we're just getting over one lot of bombing more towards our country and now we're dealing with another one."

"I know Kate but do not let on to the others of your crew it is being kept under wraps for now. Hammersley is going to be in port till you return at least. The local police are using Hammersley Buffer to help them since he has explosive knowledge and also he picked it up."

"That sounds like Dutchy to notice something like that. Will we be bringing up explosive experts will we?"

"Yes you will be. They would fly but the gear they need to take, it is best that go by boat. SO I offered you guys."

"Ok Maxine that will be no problems. Can you make sure we have extra food supplies on board, more medical supplies for the local hospital as when we were there they were low and I would say they be close to being out again by the time we return."

"All ready and waiting for you guys when you dock tomorrow. Anyway I'll let you go Kate see you tomorrow. Oh and a list of names of those coming will be faxed through to your RO in the morning." The two say their goodbyes

Kate sits there in Mike's cabin, it is late but she knows the crew need to know what is going on tomorrow so she heads to the bridge to put the call out via the ships intercom system. As she finishes she remembers something and rings Maxine back while on the bridge.

"Maxine, its Kate I forgot ask you something."

"What's that Kate?"

"Have you rung his parents yet?"

"No not yet."

"Can you ring them for me please and let them know what is going on, just in case he…" she doesn't finish what she is saying the thought of him getting sick and not making it, she just doesn't really want to think of that not right now. Maxine understands where she is coming from.

"I'll ring them for you as soon as we've finish talking."

"Thank you."

"Kate do they know about you two?"

"Yes they do."

"Ok well then I shell do that for you." The two say goodbye the ones that are on the bridge give Kate a weird look.

Kate returns to her new Cabin, the CO's cabin the one filled with Mike's gear. She digs out one of his grey shirts form out of his bag and replaces her one with his and then sits down at her desk and brings up a clean page on your laptop, then she changes her mind and gets some plan paper and a pen and starts to write, scribble down things. Finally she feels she can start the letter how she wants to.

_Dear Mike,_

_I wasn't sure how to start this letter to you, just like the email I sent you a few weeks ago._

Kate continues to write, the words flowing down onto the paper so much easier than she had expected them to flow.

_**BACK TO THE PRESENT**_

Mike opens the envelope and pulls out the paper that is inside of it. He unfolds it and smiles at her perfect hand writing that she has used. He starts to read it.

_Dear Mike,_

_I wasn't sure how to start this letter to you, just like the email I sent you a few weeks ago. But after seeing you today in that hospital bed looking so pale, machines connected to you. In a drug induced coma I started to cry, the last time I saw you like that was after you saved Jim's life and nearly lost yours in the process._

_I properly got the Chandlers guys talking about us now, their XO didn't listen to Dutchy or Nikki and entered the room when I was visiting you. I let rip into him, god I can't believe I was like him once. Thank you for making me the person I am now a far more approachable officer, one that can relax and enjoy time with the crew but also one that the crew respects and will listen too. I'm going to be working on his syntax and his attitude to me. I learnt from the best in the business so I'm sure I can pass that knowledge on to him, if you haven't already drummed some sense into him._

_Oh yea forgot to say I'm acting CO of HMAS Chandlers and will be for the next week or so. I don't think I am in the right frame of mind to be doing this with you laying in that run down looking hospital. I'm so worried that you will get sick. Maxine reckons I can do it, so I'm going to have to trust her and trust the faith you use to have in me and do this. Prove to them I can be a Lieutenant Commander._

_God I miss you so much, I took one of your grey shirts to sleep in. I need you to get better; I need you in my life. Please don't make the same mistake I made. Don't shut me out refuse to talk to me like I did all those years ago, and like I did when I first joined Hammersley. I know I stuff it up big time. I know I made some stupid mistakes without thinking but I was shit scared of everything that was going on. Finding out Ryan was your son, I expected you to go running back to Maxine and forget about me. The more you pushed to find out what was going on the more I resisted and the more I through Jim in your face. I'm so sorry for doing that to you, to me, to us._

_You were right. I should never have expected you to come running back to me after telling you that you are the only one I could marry. The reason I felt so guilty over it all was that night, that night after I had tried that dress on I just couldn't bring myself to break Jim's heart like that. How do you tell someone who wants to give you everything that you can't accept that the whole time you've been going out with them your heart has belonged to someone else. That they in fact were just something to keep you side tracked away from the one person you really want but can't have because of the job. Because I couldn't let you choose your career for me. Because I was stupid enough to do as Maxine told me to do. _

_Your heart was not the only one that broke that day on the bridge deck of Hammersley mine did also. _

_Mike, baby I've tried to accept that this is how you want things between us, but I can't not this time. Not after having worked alongside you for five years. I know so much more about you than I did last time. I want to know what I need to do to change your mind over the decision I made, a decision I totally regret with every fibre of my body. One that I wished I could change. I saw you crying in your car so I know that it was just as hard for you as it was for me that night at my house. I just wished I had gone after you, had done anything to stop you leaving my house, leaving Cairns all together._

_Not having you in my life in some form doesn't feel right. Every time we have shore leave I go home hoping you will be there waiting for me. Waiting to tell me how sorry you are, how you love me and want us to be together. I also say sorry, we kiss and make up. But when I walk in the door and you're not there the tears flow yet again. Maxine has become a regular at my house since you left._

_I love you so much baby. I just hope it isn't too late to start to fix things between us and have those things we talked about. Children, Marriage, a life together for ever._

_I love you,_

_ Kate xoxo_

_P.S I do hope you got to read this and not someone else. You know how to reach me if you want to talk. I love you with all my heart and you will always have it._

By the time he has finished reading the letter there are tears falling down his face.

He lets the tears flow and half an hour later he is still crying when someone walks into his hospital room, they notice something in his hand, and the tears that are falling down his face, as he steers out the window of his room.

_**WINDING BACK IN TIME….**_

The following morning Kate wakes up bright and early and gets to work. She wakes with a new attitude towards things. She knows she has to stay positive and not let the situation with Mike get to her.

When the crew of Hammersley rise, they see that the Chandlers is a hive of activity, Nikki quickly goes over and sees Kate.

"Kate."

"Hi Nikki, what can I do for you?"

"How you feeling today?"

"Better." Kate says as she works away on a route back home, with her XO.

"That is good, so you lot heading home today then?"

"Only for a quick stop off before returning back here with experts on board."

"What they leaving you in charge?"

"Yep fleet command is leaving me as acting CO for the time being."

"Did Mike get transferred out on Melbourne last night before it left?" Nikki asks and she sees Kate take a deep breath. Before moving away and down the stairs of the bridge, Nikki follows her to her cabin.

"Nope the hospital won't allow it right now."

"What Melbourne could have easily handled his transfer back to Cairns."

"We know that, Maxine knows that but the doctors at the hospital are refusing it. Maxine has promised me she will do everything she can to get him back to home to Cairns ASAP."

"We're docked in port for the next twenty four hours at least I'll go see him and make sure he is doing ok."

"That would be great Nikki and can you let me know how he is doing."

"Of course, but you got to promise to fix things when he wakes up."

"I will don't you worry about that."  
"Good." Nikki then says good bye to Kate and they get back to work.

**Two days later**

Mike is waking up.

Kate is on the Chandlers on her way back to Cairns.

"Excuse me doctor but the doctors here are fine with him transferred there is a team flying in from Brisbane to bring him home first thing tomorrow morning."

"He is not ready for transfer and he won't be able to be transferred tomorrow either. Why can't you accept what I say?"

"I do but I feel that Commander Flynn needs to be returned home. He has injuries to a leg that has already sustained injuries before we need to get to work on his leg before he loses the use of it. Also your hospital is not up to the grade, if he hasn't already got an infection he is bound to get on if he stays there any longer. The doctors here reckon he is fine for traveling after going over all your notes that you have faxed through. They told me he should have been on HMAS Melbourne two days ago like I had told you to do."

"No frigate is a hospital."

"HMAS Melbourne is a hospital on the water. It can deal with 99% of all the injuries our sailors get on the job, they can stabilize them enough to have them medic vac out to hospital. Now if you will excuse me I have to sort out more supplies to be sent your way. A team is flying in today and will depart with Commander Flynn first thing tomorrow morning." The two say there good byes.

HMAS Chandlers

The stat phone rings and Kate answers it.

"Kate Commander White speaking how is the trip home going?'

"Ok, you've sure got us doing quick turnaround don't you?" Kate says.

"Sorry about that Kate but it is needed."

"I understand so what can I do for you?"

"I'm ringing to let you know that Mike is awake."

"Oh thank god, how is he?" relief sounding through her voice at hearing that Mike is awake.

"They not saying but there is a team flying from Brisbane to Port Moresby to bring him home first thing tomorrow."  
"Is he coming back home to Cairns?" she asks

"Yes he is Kate."

"Well next time we are docked in Cairns I will be requesting some shore leave then ma'am."

"Sure thing Kate, I'm sure I can grant a few extra hours of shore leave for you all."

"Thank you. Anyway must go we have a mayday call coming." Kate says as a mayday call is heard through the bridge of HMAS Chandlers.

Chandlers fires into life, this is the first bit of real on water action for the crew since Kate took over. Kingston is not too far away but they are dealing with another situation so it is being left to Chandlers to get the Mayday call.

Back in Port Moresby Mike is semi dazed, he wakes with this tube down his throat and it is uncomfortable, it is not long after that it is removed and the doctors talk to him about what has been going on. He asks when he is going home, they tell him tomorrow. They also inform him about his leg, and his other injuries and that he has been out for a few days.

_**BACK TO THE PRESENT DAY**_

Afternoon

Chandlers is busy docking at port. It has been a busy week for them back and forth, back and forth between Cairns and Port Moresby transporting supplies and alike. Hammersley is even back now as well. Both crews pleased that for now they are getting some shore leave.

Sadly for both CO's they have reports to write up before heading to NAVCOM to hand them in to Maxine.

For Kate all she can think about is Mike. She wants to go see him but he hasn't even rung to talk to her. The thought that he doesn't won't to fix what has been broke causes tears to fall down her face. She quickly wipes them away and gets back to her reports.

"God I now understand why Mike hates his paperwork so much."

"He's always hated paperwork." The sound of Commander Whites voice behind her makes her jump in her chair with surprise. "Sorry to startle you Kate."

"It's ok Ma'am I was just writing up my report for you. It's not finished yet."

"That is ok Kate, I just came down to see how you we're doing face to face and not over a phone."

"I'm doing ok. Been a busy few days, but I'm getting there."

"You planning on going and seeing Mike?" Maxine asks Kate and notices how she has stiffened.

"No, he doesn't won't to talk to me." She quietly says and hangs her head down, hiding her glassy eyes.

"Kate."

"Maxine I wrote him a letter, placed it inside his laptop. I've emailed him and he's not responded to either. I just have to accept it. It is over for good this time and nothing I can do, say or write will make him change his mind." She says as she looks at her laptop screen willing the tears not to fall.

"I don't think that is true my dear." Lisa says after hearing Kate's voice and the emotion in loosing Mike. Maxine and Kate both turn to look at Lisa. Chandlers XO is also standing there haven shown Lisa where to go to find Kate.

"Lisa how did you know I was here?"

"Maxine told me earlier today that you were docking today. You're to come have dinner with Peter and me tonight."

"I can't I have…"

"Kate stop it you're as bad as Mike. You're coming for dinner and that is that. Now get your stuff together so that you can leave with me." She says and Maxine doesn't even bother to answer her back. Also she is pleased that someone is going to make sure she eats. Kate does as she is told. She knows Mike's parents well enough that she won't get out of it no matter what is said.

"Maxine when is her sail time tomorrow?"

"1100hours." Maxine replies back with. Then all three leave Chandlers.

Earlier on in the day, someone enters Mike's room. Mike ignores them as he processes what Kate has written to him. The tears keep falling Lunch arrives and he doesn't even touch it. Even when a nurse comes in and does her checks and tries' to talk to him but he doesn't reply.

"Mike you ok?" Peter asks his son having noticed his behaviour and how he is retracting into himself.

"No you are not fine son now come on tell me what's wrong." Mike passes the letter from Kate to his father, who sits there and reads it. He then rings his wife Lisa and they talk. The talk going unnoticed by Mike how is away in dream land.

Lisa hatches a plan and goes in search of the Naval Docks to get Kate and bring her back home for dinner. Knowing from talking to Maxine earlier on in the day that Kate was due home today.


	8. Chapter 8

**Winding back in time….**

"God he is so handsome. That tones body, tanned skin."

"God yea and he's a navy captain too."

"Really?"

"It says so on his notes. A commander, he has no ring on his finger wonder if he has anyone."

"No ring means fear game." The two female nurses keep on talking away.

Mike lays in his hospital bed wondering if these nurse will ever stop talking about him when they are within hearing range, he so can't wait to return back home to Australia where the nurses seem to have more common sense than to gossip about their patients within hearing range.

It is late when the plane lands in Port Moresby, the medical team from Brisbane hospital sort out what they need before heading to the hospital to do checks on Mike.

"God I forgot how much of a dumb this place was." One of the team says as they pull up outside the hospital that Mike is in.

"Well as long as he is stable enough we will fly him out tomorrow."

"The medical reports from the hospital for the last two days have shown no problems. Still I don't understand why HMAS Melbourne was not allowed to bring him back. They have great nurses and doctors on that ship."

"Commander White said the hospital refused letting him go due to the machines he was on."

"Knocker may god not heard her name in ages."

"Yea well she wasn't happy. That is what I got from the doctors in Cairns."

The group head towards Mike room, they look around at the make shift ICU unit and shake their heads. Once in the room one of the team whispers to the others "I don't care if he is or isn't stable we are getting him out of here tomorrow morning.

The team leader introduces himself to Mike; they talk and ask Mike a few questions. Then they head off to talk to the doctors while one of them gives Mike some morphine to help him rest, they want to check the wounds but are worried about the conditions of the room, they decide to do it anyway and they scrub up and get their own supplies out and do a quick check. They not down how leg wound and their worry about him getting use back in it, once the wound is redressed one of team massage the muscles in his leg, being careful not to put too much pressure around his wound, but to help get his blood pumping some more, she also does this to his other leg.

For Mike the massage is nice but on his injured leg it did hurt, but not too bad considering the pain medication he was given. He doesn't really say much to them away in his own world thinking of Kate yet again.

Since waking all he has had is nurses and doctors come in no one else, no one he knows has visited. But then again he is not surprised who would visit him, no one form Chandlers apart from Buffer would bother coming to see him, but then again they would have been sent home by now.

Before long Mike is back asleep the morphine relaxing him enough and now with no one poking and prodding him he can rest.

**Back to present day…..**

Chandlers XO is not sure of what to make of what he's just overheard, between Lieutenant McGregor, Commander White and the lady who is called Lisa. He watches as the three leave the ship and walk along the docks. Kate in-between the other two. He stands there wondering what is going on and who this Lisa person is.

Lisa takes Kate back to her place so she can get change, then they start to head back to Mike's house to have dinner. They talk about all sorts of different things, but as yet Lisa has left the subject of Mike along which for Kate is a good thing as she doesn't really want to talk about him to his mother.

Kate is away with her thoughts that she doesn't notice that Lisa has taken her to the local hospital and not Mike's house.

"Lisa what are we doing here?" Kate asks worried that Lisa is going to say visiting Mike.

"You're going in to see him." And her fear is confirmed

"No he doesn't want me there." Kate quickly says to her.

"Kate is that what you really think?" she says so kindly to her, Kate just looks down at her hands.

"Yes" She quietly says back.

"Why?"

"Because…" Kate doesn't say anything else as tears fall down her face.

"Your scared aren't you honey?" Lisa voice still soft and caring and Kate just nods her head in agreement with Lisa's statement, as she wipes the tears off her face.

"Kate you don't have to talk to each other, just go be with him you might be surprised in how he acts towards you."

"He's ignored me for this long I highly doubt there be anything else he can do apart from yell at me."

"Kate he's hurting too over all of this."

"I know he is, and he has every right to be hurt because it's my entire fault this time around I drove him away. I pushed him to walk out of my life like he did." The two sit there for a few minutes before Lisa speaks again.

"I think you need to go make that first step with him, he can't ignore you if you are in the room with him." Kate lets out a small laugh.

"Oh he can and he has done it before."

**Hospital**

"Evening Mike, you know you really should eat some dinner." Beth says to him noticing he hasn't touched his dinner. When she looks at him he seems lost and sad looking. He doesn't even make any eye contact with him. _I wonder if there is someone special in his life that he is missing right now._ She thinks to herself.

"Look Mike you've got to eat if you want to get out of here. Otherwise we'll stick a nasal gastric tube down your nose and feed you that way. So what is your choice? Eat on your own willingly or I go get the doctor and we put in the NG tube your choice."

"You don't want the tube it's horrible." Comes a female voice from the door way and the nurse and Mike both turn to look at the person who is standing there. Mike locks eyes with the person at the door.

_Please don't make me leave?_

_You've been crying_

_Yes are you ok?_

_I will be in time_

_Your leg?_

_Time will tell they expect a full recovery. What are you doing here?_

_Your mum sent me, well more pushed me to come here._

_Didn't you want to come?_

_I'm scared_

_Why?_

_Of what you might say or do or not. _ Tears start to fall again for her.

The nurse watches on as the two look at each, little facial expressions crossing each other's faces, she watches as Kate wipes her face a couple of times. She watches on as a few more expressions cross their faces then Kate walks over to the bed and Mike opens his arms and Kate curls up beside him and buries her head into his chest and the tears flow even more now from her. The nurse quietly leaves the room.

Outside the room Lisa watches as the two do their normal talking without words and then she sees Kate moving towards the bed and curling up beside Mike on the bed. She smiles and then walks away leaving the two to be alone. Even if they don't talk being together like this will provide some comfort for both and might help them break through the first step.

An hour later neither one of them has said anything to the other, both just content with being in each other's arms. Mike has though taken a few mouth fills of the dinner that he was given not at all enjoying it.

"Kate have you had any dinner?" He asks his voice sounding a tad flat. He gets a muffled no from her in response.

"Is there anything you feel like I can get mum to bring it in for you?" he says again not totally sure if he should be getting her some dinner brought in or if he should send her away his heart and brain having conflicting ideas on the topic, but right now the fact that she is in his arms his heart ends up winning this battle.

He picks up his phone and rings his mum.

"Mum can you bring in some dinner for Kate and I?"

"Sure can what do you want me to bring in?"

"Whatever but it should properly be something healthy as I don't need the nurses getting grumpy with me."

"Ok, I will see you in about thirty minutes with food for you both." Lisa says as she hangs up the phone and gets together the dinners she had prepared already and takes them along with some juice for the two of them with her.

They sit there in silence yet again, his arms around her, hers around him; he starts to get sore and beeps the nurse to come in.

"Yes Mike?" Beth says as she presses the call button to turn it off.

"Um, I'm feeling a bit sore." He says trying not to sound week as he asks.

"Well you are due for some more pain relief." She says as she reads his chart, she collects the med chart.

"I'll be right back with some morphine for you." She says as she smiles to him and leaves the room. _Yep that is the blonde that came to visit him a few years ago good to see she's still around. They look so perfect together._

"Why didn't you tell me you were in pain, I would have moved?" Kate says her voice fill of worry and concern for him and as she tries to move away, he keeps his arm wrapped around her waist preventing her escape.

"It's ok I'm often in pain with my leg."

"It's the leg that…" she can't finish saying what she wants to say but Mike knows what she is meaning.

"Yes dear it is the same leg." He says as he places a kiss on the top of her head.

"Been enjoying working with Buffer again?" Mike says, he wants to talk to her but isn't total sure where to start so he decides on something neutral to start with.

"Buffer?" she says sounding confused

"Pete he's the buffer on Chandlers." Then she clicks he doesn't know

"You don't know then?'

"Know what honey, did something happen to him?" his endearment to her just slipping out with the worry over his friend "Oh bugger he was with me when there was that explosion, he was...he was. Kate is he ok?" Mike mangers to ask.

"He was fine till a few hours later he was helping the locals go through buildings when one collapsed on him, it broke his left arm and left leg. Doctors can't see any problems, the breaks were clean and Melbourne did a top notice job of fixing it all up for him. The last I heard he was being discharged this morning." She says.

"Did he need surgery?"

"I don't think so he's on strict bed rest and no weight bearing."

"We need….Damn this thing has no since of timing." Kate says as her mobile goes off, she reaches for it and answers it.

"Lieutenant what's wrong." Kate tries to move off the bed but Mike doesn't want her to move, the nurse then walks in with his morphine.

"Excuse me you rang me over that?" Kate is able to get off the bed.

"Why can't you handle it?" she says as she starts to pace the room, being watched by both Mike and Kate

"Lieutenant if you want to be an executive officer on Patrol Boats you need to start using your head." She takes a deep breath.

"Lieutenant this is a situation you should be able to handle."

"Lieutenant if I have to come down to chandlers and sort this problem out there will be consequences for you and the other party involved."

"They don't respect you due to the way you treat them and your commanding officer."

"Sort it out Lieutenant and I will not be afraid to give you tooth brush duty."

"Watch your SYTAX X, I'm our CO. And also next time you leave a wide gap between anything and the use of Ma'am you will find yourself off my boat understood." Her voice very firm and totally in control. Mike smiles at this, he remembers saying something very similar to her when she was doing it to him, but instead it was the reason his last XO was fired by him of course. They then hang up after saying their goodbyes. The nurse shakes her head at Kate.

"I'm please I don't work for you, ma'am."

"I'm not always like that and Kate is fine." Kate says the nurse then introduces herself to Kate before leaving the pair alone.

"He giving you problems is he?"

"Yes was he a pain for you?"

"Yes he was about to be sacked by me."

"Oh well don't worry if I can't make him into a XO then there is no hope in hell anyone can."

"Is the crew still having issues with him?"

"Yes, but from what I have observed it has to do with how he is towards me and he doesn't take the time to get to know them, he reminds me a lot of myself when I first stepped on Hammersley but a tad worse. I had the best teacher, so I'm sure I can pass what I learnt over to him." They both smile at each other. Kate then notices the open envelope that she had in his laptop. And she goes dead quiet.

"You…read…it?" She says it pausing between words.

"Yea I did." She stands there nervous, and Mike can see it. "Come and sit back down but not on this side." He says as he pats the other side of the bed, the side that she was lying down on earlier before her phone went off. She goes around and sits facing him, her back to the door and her body blocking him from seeing if anyone is standing there.

The room is silent for a little while.

"I read it, and I've been thinking over everything that you had written." Kate says nothing in reply, as Mike places his hand on her leg. "You are right it did hurt me walking out of your house that day, but I felt it was important that I did that. You made the choice Kate. I'm dealing with it the best I can, it hurts like hell not having you in my life but I have to be realistic here. I have to protect myself." He says his voice cracking and full of emotion as he says it. She has tears falling down her face, and he gentle wipes them away the best he can with one hand.

"Will I ever get a chance to fix this between us?"

"I don't know Kate this is the first time we have spoken since I left, and it takes me being in hospital injured for you to visit. How do I know that you're not here hoping to pray on me being in this state to get." He stops and takes deep breath to calm is racing nerves "To get me back with you. Not once since I left have you rung me to try and fix this, yes you emailed me but you only asked how I was doing and to that everyone says hi from Hammersley. You have my mobile number how hard is it to text me, or ring me."

"Why couldn't you?"

"You know why Kate. Tonight's proof of why. My brain was telling me not to cuddle you, hold you, comfort you but my heart says you have to because I hate seeing you in this state." There is silence between the two and the person at the door is not sure if they should or shouldn't come in.

"Kate what was it I said to you that night when I left your house, the reason I couldn't stay even though I wanted too?"

"Because I wouldn't talk to you and because I allowed Maxine to have control over what I did to us."

"I'm not sure…" Mike stops and turns his head towards the window he then catches a quick the figure of his mother at the door.

"Come in mum." He says to her and she walks in not sure how to take things in the room having heard what was said between the two. The two eat in silence. Lisa asking the odd question and only getting a simple answer in reply. To be honest Mike was pleased to see his mother because it gave him an out. A reason to stop talking to Kate about that letter and what happened the last time they saw each other. Time to process everything to see if he could try and be something with her or if he should just cut all ties completely with her. He know she's been a jerk with her over things between them but when he finally is prepared to give everything, finally gives into his fears she does the one thing he was the most scared of her doing to him and that was leaving, and she did. She ended it all then showed off the next guy right under his nose without much care in the world for how he might be feeling. Surely the cold shoulder he was often giving her when on Hammersley might have shown her how hurt he was over it all. Going home on shore leave to a cold, empty, lonely, house with no one. No one to share his day with, to enjoy the evening with and most of all no hope of ever having anyone to come home to and then sleep alongside that night, to cuddle up with on the couch and watch movies together, to love, to have children with and most importantly to grow old with.

After Maxine got married he never thought he would find someone he could dream of those things again with. Yes he had fallen for Maxine big time back then but she didn't seem to notice him in that way. It wasn't till he meet Kate at Watson's Bay did he find true love. That person, that when you meet captures your heart in so many different ways. She was ambushes, career focus and god to him she was beautiful in uniform. She didn't take the crap other students fired at her, she gave everything 110% and this just made him want her more. He tried to tell himself that he couldn't but somehow they both ended up in bed with each other and there were fireworks, more fireworks than the night he had with Maxine that one drunken night. Everything Kate and him had spent together making love as he called it those fireworks were always there just as bright and brilliant as the time before. Wither it was a hard and fast go or a long and slow event. He hated walking out like he did but they had broken the rules and he had fallen for her hard and fast and it scared the shit out of him, he was thankful for the call to return to cairns ASAP, he thought he was doing the right thing by just leaving with no note or message of any kind, but once he arrived in cairns he felt bad. He thought of ringing and when he finally got up the courage to do so she ignored him and that happened for several months before he got the hint that she wasn't going to talk to him.

He was so away with his thoughts that he didn't notice Kate or his mother leave the room. This made him feel even worse than before. He sat there shaking his head when his mobile goes off alerting him to a text message.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Here we all go another update just before Christmas, I hope you all have a great day and enjoy it with family and friends. And if you are one of those unlucky few who sadly have to work I do appreciate that you work over this important holiday for everyone else to enjoy :)**_

* * *

Once Kate had finished eating she notices Mike was looking back out the window, she tried to talk to him but got no response even Lisa tried but he still said nothing. The two decided to leave the room since he was being like he was.

"Honey it will be ok."

"No it won't I stuffed this up big time. I'll never get him back." She says as tears fall down her face. Lisa drives Kate home. On the way home she notices that Kate looks out the window as tears fall down her face. Lisa can't help but want to strangle her son over what he is doing to the women who loves him and who he also loves.

Once they reach Kate's house, Lisa goes in with her and makes her a hot drink which Kate does take and drink before going to her room, where she lays down on the bed and curls up in the foetal position and cries herself to sleep.

"Peter honey you going to need to talk to Mike about how he treats Kate."

"What did he say?"

"Not just what he said it's what he also did, the poor woman hasn't stop crying since we left his hospital room."

"What is it with him? She's damn well trying here and…"

"She is trying but he is making it impossible. I'm going to stay here with her make sure she eats before she leaves tomorrow."

"And here I thought after what you told me they might be making progress." Peter says as he types a message on his mobile phone.

"So did I. Look I'm going to go make up some meals and freeze them down for Kate while I'm here can you bring me around a change of clothes and also pick up some fresh vegetables she hasn't got much here in the food line."

"Sure thing see you in about twenty minutes." He says as they say goodbye and hang up. Lisa goes through Kate's cardboards she finds pasta, some tinned tomatoes, and a few other items. As she checks the freezer she finds some mince so she gets it out and starts preparing to make her lasagne. While the mince is gentle cooking on the stove she heads up stairs to check on Kate.

Back at the hospital

Mike is staring at the text message he has just gotten when his phone starts to ring, the name flashing up says 'DAD'

"Hello" he says into the phone

"What the hell do you think you are doing to her Mike?" Mike says nothing in reply to his father.

"You going to answer?" nothing from him

"So that is how it is going to be is it. Do you know she is in tears at her place, hasn't stop since she left your room with your mother. She's bloody well trying and you're pushing her away. What will it take for you to get off that damn bloody high horse of yours? No bloody relationship is easy, we all do things we wish we could change but can't. Right now you're being a right pig headed dick to her. Yes she's done wrong but she admitted it, she knows what she did wrong and that is a huge step. I read that letter she gave you. She's asks you not to do what she did when you left her the first, asking you not to shut her out. Isn't that why you don't want to be with her because she shut you out, didn't talk, and what are you doing the exactly same thing to her."

"Dad..."

"Don't dad me Mike this is not on you're an adult now not a child. Stop acting like one and make good with that woman. She bloody well loves you son even with everything the two of you have been through, she still loves you and that says a lot." He says and then stops to wait and see what his son will say in reply, the whole spiel being said with some anger in his voice, as he is very pissed off with how his son is being towards the woman that he knows he loves and also loves him back.

"Look son I have to go and take some things around to your mother, she staying with Kate tonight. Think about what I've said to you, and think hard about it because if you hurt her more than you already have you will be dealing one very pissed off father. I may not be her real father Mike, but she doesn't deserve to be treated the way you are treating her." He says before he says goodbye and then hangs up, he then proceeds to do as his wife has asked and takes her some clothes and vegetables to Kate's place.

Thirty minutes later as he pulls up outside Kate's house he is impressed by how nice the place is, and also how nice the neighbourhood is that she lives in, he walks straight into the house quietly as not to wake Kate if she has fallen asleep yet.

"How is she doing?" he asks when he finds his wife in the kitchen dealing with a pot.

"Not good at all. I rang Maxine and spoke to her about it."

"What did she say?"

"Not the first time she's been like this."

"Really?"

"Yes she informed me that after she found out Mike had transferred she lost weight, and withdrawn. Maxine said she had to step in and help her out. To get her back right again. Well as Maxine put it back to somewhere close to what she was beforehand but not back to how she was with him around."

The two talk some more. He fills her in on his phone call to their son, and she fills him in on how she has been since they arrived back to her place.

It is late before Peter heads back to Mike's place leaving his wife with Kate. The only benefit coming out of that is that Kate was being left in the caring capable hands of Lisa.

That night Kate dreamed. She dreamed of the life she wished she had with Mike, them enjoying their jobs, sharing a house and even raising their children together, both happy and married to each other.

For Mike though he had a restless sleep, his brain kept going over what his father had said to him and also what Kate had done and written to him in that letter and email.

**0800 hours the following morning.**

"Mike what the hell is wrong with you?" is heard in his room and it shocks Mike to hear the tone in Maxine voice directed at him at an early hour.

"Maxine it's early."

"No Mike it's o eight hundred hours not early at all considering Kate has been up since o six hundred hours getting Chandlers ready to sail at eleven hundred hours." He says nothing in reply to the sharp tone being used towards him.

"So you're not going to talk are you?"

"Not when you're speaking to me like that no."

"Mike I'm your friend and your Boss I can speak to you how ever I like, even more so after I hear about the crap you pulled on Kate last night. You have no right in hell to put her through hell again. I was left to sort her out when you left for Sydney there is no way in hell I am going to let you put her through that again."

"Maxine she chose this."

"She did it because I told her to Mike, because I was given orders from above who were given orders from our government. Do you have any idea what that has done to her? Or to me since I found out? No of course not, because you're got your nose stuck so far stuck up your arse it's not funny." She stops and allows a brief pause before starting to talk again. "She reached out to you Mike. She said she wouldn't but she did. She was so scared of you turning her away and breaking her already broken heart that she would keep telling me that you didn't want this anymore and that it wouldn't matter what she did you wouldn't change your mind. I keep pushing her telling her to just write him an email do you have any idea how many days it took her to write that damn email then send it? No of cause not because you only care about yourself. God I don't know why I bother sometimes with you Mike. But I will say this if you break her to the point where she can't function as the fine officer she is you will wish you were dead by the time I am finished with you." She says before walking out of the room, knowing if she stays any longer she will do something to him, like hurt him for what he is putting Kate through.

**CHANDLERS**

Kate is busy sorting out the rooster for the next few days. Her Xo is out making sure the supplies are loaded. She is sitting there thinking about what happened last night. She is left feeling total confused.

_One minute he is happily holding me, allowing me to cry into his chest, provide comfort the next he is …_ as she thinks to herself, she doesn't notice the arrival of Maxine to her cabin.

"Kate." Maxine says quietly to her.

"Yes Ma'am?" she replies back with as she turns to look at Maxine.

"I'm replacing you."

"WHAT WHY, this is meant to be my chance to show them I can be a CO?" Kate says sounding not to impress with Maxine.

"You are I'm just swapping CO's you're going back to Hammersley Kate, I think it be easier on you to be with a crew you know and trust. Plus it is the boat you should have had command of."

"Maxine I am fine here." She says back

"Kate you are not fine I know what happened last night. Hammersley sails tomorrow it gives you an extra day to get yourself sorted and together before you sail. Plus Hammersley route is closer to home than Chandlers." Kate says nothing as she gets up out of her chair.

"So is this an order or suggestion?" She says and Maxine can't help but chuckle at Kate

"What?"

"You reminded me of Mike when you said that. I think he has been rubbing off on you far too much."

"Well over five years of working side by side with him will do that. We have basically lived together on Hammersley." She says in reply to Maxine's comment.

"It's an order but please don't make me the big bad wolf. I'm already that in Mike's eyes." Kate looks at Maxine.

"What did you do?"

"Gave him a piece of mind and don't say he doesn't deserve it because he sure as hell does." She says as she watches Kate collect the few items she has in the cabin and leaves Chandlers with Kate in tow, as Bill walks on. Maxine quickly introduces Bill to his new XO."

"Hey Lieutenant if you think I'm bad he is worse. Oh and Lieutenant Commander Vincent your X is a handful." Kate says as she leaves. Chandlers X is not at all impressed with what is going on.

"Commander White why are we yet again getting another CO?"

"Lieutenant McGregor has some family matters that she has to deal with today and Lieutenant Commander Vincent kindly offered to swap commands when he heard. He will also be staying on till your normal CO decides to return. And also Lieutenant if I get one more complaint about you, you will be facing a board." She says firmly before turning and saluting Bill and then walking off with Kate beside her.

Once some distance away from Chandlers and Hammersley Maxine speaks again.

"Will you go see Mike again today?" she asks her voice soft and more of the friend tone than the boss tone.

"Nope not after last night." She says and Maxine can hear the pain in the tone she has used.

"Kate."

"No Maxine I did as you asked I pushed through and emailed him you know how long it took me to write that email then send it. I then write him that letter I reached out to him but it all backed fired on me. I should have just done what I wanted to do in the first place."

"And you would also be sitting in that hospital hooked up to god knows what Kate. You were very close to being admitted when I stepped in and pulled rank on you." Kate says nothing and looks down at the ground as they keep on walking toward her car.

"Kate you should go see him even if it is to tell how much of a prick he is being about all of this. Maybe you should tell him how it affect your health, how it has affected you as a person. Tell him the things you told me, the things you felt after you did what I asked you to do."

"It won't make any difference he's made up his mind and when he does that nothing changes his mind. We all know how stubborn he can be when he sets his mind to things."

"Yes that is for sure."

"I'll meet you at Navcom and get my orders for Hammersley then?'

"Yes good idea, see you up there in about ten minutes." Maxine replies as Kate gets in her car and heads to Navcom.

Ten minutes later Kate is in Maxine office getting Hammersley orders for the following day. She is relieved that she no longer has to deal with the Chandlers XO and is more than happy to be going back to Hammersley where she knows the crew will respect her, trust her and not have the issues that Chandlers does.


	10. Chapter 10

It's been a week since Mike and Kate talked in his hospital room.

A week since she last spoke to Mike.

A week since he made it clear that he doesn't want a relationship with her.

A week since Kate's already broken heart was smashed into even smaller pieces.

**HAMMERSLEY**

"Ma'am contact on our radar."

"Is it the FFV we've been chasing X?" Kate replies back to Nikki.

"X co-ords so I can bring it up on the EOD." Dutchy asks as Nikki gives him the co-ordinates and he then brings up the suspected vessel on the EOD

"Boss it's not the one were chasing but look at this." Dutchy says as Kate then comes over and they watch on the EOD what is going on.

"RO try and contact them, X prepared your boarding party." Kate says as she goes over to the maps. "Nikki if those co-ordinates are correct they on the verge of fishing in protected waters. Make sure you get all the details of all their nets and pots, and if they complain tell them we're doing Fishery checks in this area."

"Yes Ma'am." Nikki says as she then puts the call out for Hands to boarding Stations throughout the ship and then heads off. Kate heads back to her seat and watches on after sending the RHIB away.

The boarding goes routine for the crew, it was a Australian fishing vessel who thought they had plenty of room between their nets and the protected zone, as 2Dad's looked at their equipment he found a fault with their GPS unit and he happily fixed it, the crew then went off and picked up all their only net to have been set yet and headed off to a different area after Nikki showed them a better spot to be so their gear didn't drift into these parts again. Since she had noticed after going through all the paperwork and talking to the crew it was their first time out commercial fishing, though they all had knowledge of how to run a boat and three out of the five crew had skipper's tickets.

For Kate being back on Hammersley was good. She was with a crew that respected her, followed her orders and didn't have the issues that Chandlers had.

The rest of the afternoon went by without much else happening. They all had time to write up their reports on the boarding and hand them to Kate who then wrote up hers and emailed them off to Maxine.

As Kate is sitting up on the bridge as they are cruising through the open waters the stat phone rings.

"HMAS Hammersley Lieutenant McGregor speaking."

"Kate, its Maxine."  
"Commander White what can I do for you?"

"I take it you're on the bridge?"

"Yes."

"Can you get RO to put the call through to your cabin please?"

"Um yes sure thing." Kate says sounding worried, she then asks RO to put the call through to her cabin as she hands over the ship to Nikki and heads to her cabin.

Once in the cabin she picks up the phone and RO patches it through to her.

"Maxine what is it that you need to say to me that you couldn't do on the bridge."

"I'm ringing to see how you are doing?"

"You got my reports." Kate says hoping she can change the subject.

"Kate I meant personally with yourself?" Maxine says and Kate doesn't reply.

"Kate."

"Maxine I don't want to talk about it."

"Kate bottling it up isn't going to help."

"I'm not bottling it up I'm accepting it. I did as you asked me to do Maxine and it backed fired on me. I reached out to him and all I got in return is even more heart ache. Now can you just let me do my job?"

"Ok then Kate by the way you guys are required to come back to port you guys are doing a supply run and you're the closest asset we have to Cairns." The two keep talking for a few more minutes before Kate heads to the bridge to inform them of their change of course to Home port.

2100 hours Kate is sitting in her cabin reading a book when there is a knock on the door.

"Come in" she says as she keeps on reading.

"Ma'am can I have a word with you in private?"

"Sure thing Nikki." Kate says in reply. Nikki then enters the cabin and shuts the door behind her. Kate stops reading, marks her page and then sits her book down.

"What can I do for you?"

"Um I want to talk to you about Mike."

"Nikki we're not going there."

"But..."

"Nikki." Kate says in a strong officer tone.

"He emailed me asking how you were doing." Nikki quickly blurts out. Kate is left there stunned.

"He did what." She says to Nikki

"He emailed me asking how you were doing."

"So he emails you but not me." Nikki can tell Kate is not at all happy with this. "What did you say back?" She then asks Nikki

"Nothing I came straight here to you." Kate moves over to her desk and picks up the phone.

"RO patch me through to Commander Flynn's mobile please." She says in to the phone and Nikki leaves the cabin not wanting to be there when she rips shreds off Mike. "Oh and RO no listening in to this conversation."

"But Ma'am."

"No RO I will take any fall out if there happens to be one. This is a private phone call." She says before she is put through to Mike's ringing mobile.

**CAIRNS**

Mike was watching TV when the ringing of his mobile catches him off guard. It was a ring tone he hadn't heard in months, meaning only one thing to him. He picks up the phone and says hello.

"Mike, its Kate."

"What are you doing ringing on Hammersley number?"

"I'm Acting CO right now." She replies back to him with no emotion in her voice. There are a few moments of silence between the two.

"Care to explain why you went through Nikki to find out how I was doing." He says nothing in reply.

"Just as I thought. You're a bloody coward Mike." She says crossly to him

"No I'm not."

"Yes you bloody well are otherwise you would have emailed me yourself, not used Nikki as the middle man."

"I wasn't sure if you would even read an email from me."

"Don't use excuses with me Mike. I reached out to you and what did you do, you threw it back at me. You damn well know I wanted to fix things between us but you chose not to. I told you Mike not to do what I did the first time around. Not to shut me out but you did." She gets out before breaking down into tears again. _God all I do is cry over this man_ she thinks to herself. There are a few minutes of silence between the two.

"How are you doing?" He asks his voice soft and quiet sounding. As she wipes more tears away from her eyes. She says nothing to him.

"Ok I take it you aren't doing that well then." He replies hoping she might say something to him, but all he can hear is the soft sound of her trying to control her breathing. He knows she was crying just before and is most likely still crying now.

"If this is your way of getting me to understand what I did to you. I get it. I got it back then too."

"But you wouldn't talk to me about it."

"Because I knew if I did…I was given orders Mike. If it had been you in the same boat as me you would have done the same thing."

"No I wouldn't have." He comes back with without anytime to think, this to Kate means he is being truthful about this because he took no time at all to think of an answer to her silent but knowable question.

"Yes you would have Mike, if it meant saving my career and your own."

"No Kate I would have told Maxine where to go."

"And be court marshalled."

"Yes if it meant we got Tahiti, got us." He quietly adds on the end. They both go quiet.

"I came to you in the hospital totally scared that you would turn me away and you did Mike, your mother knew I was worried about you shutting me out, and what did you do, you did that. One minute you're holding me allowing me to cry into your chest, you provided me with comfort then…." She stops just thinking about it makes her eyes flow more tears. "I need to go I have a warship to run."

"I love you Kate." He says

"You have a bloody funny way of showing it." She says before hanging up on him. Not returning those three words. Even though she does love him and always will. She doesn't wont to make this easy on him, well not to easy she knows she does have a lot to make up for and will have to meet him half way at least, but first he has to provide her with the evidence that he isn't going to shut her out like he did in that hospital room or give her mix signals as well.

After hanging up the phone she heads to her bathroom and has a shower, allowing even more tears to fall down her face.

_Why do I keep crying over him?_

_Why does he have such a hold on my heart, on me?_

Mike on the other hand stays lying in his bed, he rolls on to his side facing towards his window his back to the door, and he has silent tears fall down his face. Going over the things that had been said to him over the week by his parents and Maxine.

_Mike, Kate was doing as she was told. I told her to end it so that you would stay. But as per normal for you Mike you turn it all around so it is all about you. Making you sound like the victim. She was one also Mike, she was hurting too over it all. I don't say she wasn't because she was. I could see it every time you two came into my office. Your father is right though Mike you're a bloody idiot for doing what you are doing to her. She reaching out to you, she isn't afraid of saying she was wrong, but you. God Mike I don't know why she still loves you but she does and your treating her like trash._

"_Mike have you spoken to Kate yet?"_

"_No"_

"_Why the hell not?"_

"_Mike she isn't going to bother contacting you not after the way you treated her last time you saw her. You hurt her badly."_

_A few days later._

"_Mike what is it going to take her being in hospital too before you pull your finger out and fix all of this."_

"_It's not that simple dad."_

"_Bloody hell it is, all you got to do is say sorry and ask her back, ask her if you both can try again."_

"_There is a lot more than you know about dad it's not that simple."_

"_Oh yes it is and I know far more than you even realise son. Fix it before it is far too late to be fix."_

"_Dad."_

"_Don't dad me son at the rate you are going you will only face up to the fact that you love her more than you care to let on to us is when something happens to her. So do it before something does happen to her." His father says as he leaves his son to think. Mike then gets his laptop out had decides to email Nikki to find out if Kate is ok or not. That way he can judge if he should or shouldn't contact her._

I shouldn't have emailed Nikki like I did. I should have contacted her directly.

Mike has now been in Cairns Hospital for two weeks and the doctors are happy to let him return home into the care of his parents. He has to go in daily for physiotherapy on his leg, has to use a wheelchair for a tad bit long till his leg is strong enough to take his weight for more than a few minutes at a time. They are hoping for a full recovery but so far they aren't too sure as there was a lot of damage to already damaged tissue, tendons and ligaments. Time is going to be the only way to find out if he will or won't be back out on the water or not.

Since the phone call from Kate he hasn't spoken to her. He has been getting the cold shoulder from his parents about it all as well and then Maxine well yes Maxine let rip into him over what he did as well.

"So how long are you two staying here for?" He asks once he is home and sitting on his couch.

"For as long as it takes for you to recover enough that the doctors are happy for you to be left alone." His mother says to him and he can tell form the tone she has used that his parents are still not happy with him.

"Has anyone been to look at the house?"

"NO we took it off the market."

"Mum."

"No Mike you're in no fit state right now to be house hunting, let alone selling this place. You're not even able to work. You own this home Mike. Stay put for now." She says forcefully to him.

"Look mum I know I've made some not so happy choices over the last few months but it is what it is."

"Really Mike your made a complete mess of things to be honest. You've let the best thing to happen to you walk right out of your life yet again. Why this time I have no bloody idea, apart from your own damn pride." She says as she walks off.

"Mum it's not that simple." He says back to her.

"Nothing ever is when you are involved son."

"Mum you don't understand what it was like."

"I understand better than you think I do. Your very much like your father in that regard. And if I had allowed him to get away with half of what Kate is letting you get away with then you wouldn't be here and neither would your sister or brother plus I wouldn't be married to him." She says before leaving the room. Mike follows her.

"Mum?" he says questionably. And she ignores him.

"Mum." He says more forcefully, she turns at looks at him

"Your father wasn't saying things to you just for the sake of saying them he was hoping you wouldn't make bigger mistakes than what he made." She says before heading into the bathroom and closing the door on him, he takes the hint and heads back to the lounge but as he passes his bedroom he stops and backups and enters his bedroom instead. He mangers to close the door and then gets himself onto his bed, before lying down to rest and think.

**BACK OUT ON THE WATER**

For Kate is had been a long week she had been hoping that after ringing Mike herself over the email to Nikki that he might ring her and talk to her but nothing. She only way she found out what was going on was either via Maxine or the emails that Lisa was sending her on him. She knew he was being discharged today and wondered if he would find out when they were due back in port and maybe come and see her.

"Ma'am you ok?" Nikki asks when she notices Kate was steering off into space.

"Yes Nikki I'm fine."

"Yea right." She quietly says to her and only Kate hears this and sends her the daggers, but all Kate gets in return is a smile.

"He gets out today doesn't he?" She asks and Kate nods in an affirmative.

A mayday call then gets Nikki off the topic of Mike and back on the job at hand. For the next few hours they deal with the mayday call.

"So are you two going to sort out what is going on or do I need to lock you both in a room together and not let either of you two out till you sort it out?" Nikki says to Kate while in her cabin later on that day.

"I've tried Nikki, Mike's the one that…"

"Right so I need to have words with him then."

"Nikki just leave it."

"No not when I know how hard it is effecting you and don't lie to me I hear you crying at night." The look on Kate face.

"You do it in your sleep I've heard you when going or coming off watch. The others being as we are here a family haven't questioned you because I told them not too. Plus the look you get when someone brings up his name is enough for them to know things are well between the two of you right now." Nikki says to her. "Look next shore leave we get you should go see him even if things don't work out how you won't them too."

"No I'm not he's made it perfectly clear what he wants. I tried I did as Maxine and his mother asked me and it made things worse. So no, now if you don't mind I would like some time alone." Kate says, and Nikki knows Kate is struggling with this whole Mike thing so she decides to hatch a plan. A plan she hopes will work and she even gets Dutchy into it as well only because she knows the Dutchy knows far more than anyone else on the boat about what went on between the two of them.

The following day is firing up his emails when he notices that he has an email from Nikki, the subject line makes him smile.

'DON'T YOU DEAR DELETE THIS BEFORE READING IT OR HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE ON YOU MICHEAL FLYNN' _Trust Nikki to come up with something like that._ He says as clicks on the open button.

_Well done you opened the email. Now do not stop reading till you get to the end, as stated in the subject line all hell will break loose on you if you do._

_You need to fix things with Kate and yourself._

_She pretends that she is happy but she isn't. I look at her and I see what I must have been like after Josh died and I can't let her go through that heartache you both know how long it took for me to come right. Not when the person who has her heart is still alive and kicking and can fix what is going on._

_The only thing getting her through each day is the job. Oh and she is working hard she sure is hell proving those big bosses they made a huge mistake in not promoting her to CO she runs Hammersley as if she's been CO for years not a few weeks and the crew they back her up 110%._

_I forgot how great it is working on Hammersley how much of a family feeling you get. I just hope when Kate gets her promotion they keep me on here as Kate's 2IC._

_But anyway back to3 you. Fix this Mike please for everyone, but mainly for you two you are both meant to be together not apart._

_We meant to be docking in port in a few days all depending on supplies, maydays, and alike you know the drill nothing ever goes to plan when Hammersley is involved. Why don't you come down and see her face to face, try and take a step forward please._

_Anyway must go due on the bridge._

_Nikki_

Mike reads through the email several times before moving away leaving the email open for anyone to see, and his mother reads through it when she finds it. She rings Maxine and they spend about twenty minutes talking about the email, Hammersley and of course those two, Mike and Kate.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A sneak peek into the future**_

_Slap_

"What the hell was that for?" Mike says shocked at what Kate had just done, as he rubs his cheek, it stinging from where her hand connected with his check.

"You should bloody well know why." Kate says as she spins to leave his front door step.

"Kate wait, what did I do?" he asks her having no idea where this has come from.

"If you can't figure it out then I'm not telling you or discussing it with you." She says as she spins around and leaves his house. Mike shuts his front door once she had driven off in her car and walks back to his couch, his check still tingling from the force Kate used to slap him. He sits down wondering what it is he has said or done that has caused this chain of events to unfold on his front door step.

Ten minutes later he is trying to ring Kate but she keeps cutting off his calls, in the end all he gets is her answer machine no ring not even on her house phone.

"Bloody hell Kate. What is going on? What have I done that is so bad you hit me then shut me out like this?" He says to himself as he runs his hand through his hair stressing out over what might be going on with Kate.

"What's happened?" He hears being said form his door way. Someone having overheard his last statement to himself.

_**BACK TO THE PRESENT**_

Three days later.

**MAXINE OFFICE**

**CAIRNS  
NAVCOM**

"Maxine when are we going to get some down time? Hammersley has been on rotation for just over eight weeks now."

"I know Kate. But right now they want you guys to stay out there."

"Well can you give us a few days shore leave at some stage please? The crew could do with some down time to unwind and relax without having to worry about crash sailings."

"Well hopefully soon Kate, but right now you have a new set of orders." Maxine says and goes on informing Kate of what they are up to next. Kate isn't happy she desperately wants to down time to go and talk to Mike and see how he is doing.

"So when do we sail?"

"You guys sail at 1600 hours."

"Ok that gives me three hours." She says as she looks at her watch.

"Kate what are plotting?" Maxine asks when she sees the look Kate has on her face.

"Something personal to deal with."

"Would it happen to involve Mike?" Maxine asks her as she leans back in her chair looking at Kate.

"Yes. He had the balls to email my executive officer to ask how I was doing instead of me. I rang and told him off but I don't think he bloody listened as I found out he contacted her again. So I thought if I went and saw him face to face it might get through to him." She briefly pauses "Thank god my XO is more loyal to me than him so she hasn't responded to his last email."

"You sure she didn't email him first and say something then he emailed in return."

"She could have I wouldn't put it past Nikki to give Mike an earful as well." Maxine just smile.

"Make sure you have fun. Oh and Kate eat more please or else" Maxine says with a smirk on her face. But the last of her statement was said with more seriousness to it.

"Don't worry I will." She says as she gets up and heads off knowing time it limited. But as she leaves Maxine office, Maxine phone goes off and next thing she is text Kate telling her to return to her office.

"Maxine?" Kate asks as she enters then she notices that Maxine is on the phone.

"Yes will do."

"On to it."

"Hammersley is docked right now I will send them along with Chandlers."

"Hold on Kate just got to make a phone call."

Maxine picks up her phone and talks to someone.

"Get the faxed items to Hammersley at the port ASAP, send extras to help load." She says before hanging up and sending through the fax that she had just received.

"Kate sorry your ear bashing to Mike will have to wait. You're leaving in thirty minutes…" Maxine goes on explaining what has happened.

**DOCKS**

**HAMMERSLEY**

"Sir." Charge says when he spots Mike slowly making his way over on his crutches.

"Charge how you doing?" He asks once he is closer to him they start talking, and as the rest of the crew come off Hammersley they all say hello before going back on with supplies and as he is there talking more supplies arrive.

"Hi Nikki." Mike says when Nikki comes off Hammersley.

"Hi, guys get these supplies loaded ASAP we're leaving in thirty minutes."

"What I thought we had some down time." Moans 2Dads.

"2Dads that is enough get to work or you will be cleaning Hammersley with a toothbrush. We've got extra supplies to take with us guys so chop, chop." Nikki says to the crew. As she turns to talk to Mike a car pulls up with Kate in it.

As the car pulls up Kate is busy reading the information she received from Maxine that she doesn't notice that Mike is at the docks. Kate then gets out of the car and when her eyes meet Mike's they lock and look at each other, holding each other gaze worried that the other might disappear if they look away or blink. As Kate moves around the car Mike notices how she is has lost some weight, he is sure she wasn't that skinny last time he saw her. He sees the dark circles under eyes, seeing her in the day light without the high doses of pain meds in his system is showing what she really looks like.

"Can we talk away from this lot?" He asks quietly when she gets up beside him. She nods her head and they slowly move away from the crew.

"Mike what are you doing here?" She says once they are far enough away that the crew won't be able to hear them talking.

"I came to see how you were?"

"Why not use a phone?" she asks looking away and towards the crew that are loading the supplies.

"Because I….I don't know I just wanted to see you again." He says re adjusting himself on the crutches.

"Well here you go you've seen me." She says sarcastically as she spins around in front of him.

"Kate."

"Mike you made it clear what you wanted please don't give me mixed signals here. It's either we try and fix this or not. I can't keep going back and forth. My health just won't handle it." The statement leaving Mike with not much to say. Kate stands there waiting for a reply.

"Can we try and fix this?" She quietly says to him after a few moments of silence, when he looks her in the eyes he sees her fear and worry.

"I think first we need time to talk, to maybe get some common ground."

"Mike please doesn't do this to me. I can't take it anymore." She says as he watches her eye glass over with the first signs of tears to follow. "I do fully understand why you did what you did Mike, I do. I reached out after so much worry and look where it's gotten me. I know you wanted a clean break but I can't do it Mike, I wasn't able to last time how the hell do you expect me to be able to do it this time when you're not even around to talk to, to start with. Look I need to get aboard we have an emergency we have to go deal with, and once those last four boxes are on board we have to depart." She starts to move away and as she goes to go past Mike she feels his gentle touch on her arm, the tingle she use to get when he touched her still ever so strong today as it always has been, maybe even more so, she turns to face him again. His hand runs done the lower part of her arm and he captures her hand within his large one gentle giving it a squeeze.

"Kate I'm trying here. Be safe out there please." He pleads to her.

"What about when I was trying." She says her voice not its normal strong tone. But the tone tells Mike she isn't happy.

"Point noted. Just please be careful out there. I love you." She can't but help the small smile that comes on her face when he says those three words.

"Mike I really have to go. And just saying those three words isn't enough anymore Mike you have to show me too. I may have caused our last break up but don't you think for one minute I will make this easy for you not after the way you treated me in that hospital room." She says as she goes to move away he gives her a gentle tug on her hand, he quickly looks around before placing a kiss on the side of her neck under her ear where no one can see him doing it.

"I will prove it to you somehow. I love you stay safe." He says before letting go of her hand allowing her to walk away from him and back on to Hammersley. He watches as she walks away. Nikki looking on from the bridge.

"I hope they're sorting things out." Dutchy quietly says to Nikki when he enters the bridge, having noticed his CO and Mike talking.

"Me too." Nikki says before they hear the all too familiar footfalls of their CO entering the bridge.

Once on the bridge Kate informs Nikki of where they are heading off.

"You're joking right?" Dutchy says after hearing where they are heading off too.

"Nope there was another gas explosion. We're deploying with extra supplies Chandlers is meeting us up there and between us and Chandlers we will transport back any Australian's that are injured." Kate says. She watches as Dutchy shakes his head. "Dutchy it isn't your fault."

"Yes it is I should have found it."

"Dutchy the experts said it exploded due to its age and poor maintenance. It wasn't a bomb Dutchy this second explosion we don't know what it is but the experts are still up there thank god so they will find out."

"When did you find that out boss?"

"When I was with Commander White, she informed me of what the preliminary report was from the explosive experts that I took up there when on Chandlers." She replies back to him with.

"Right Nikki we ready to go?" Kate asks her.

"Yes boss we are." Kate then heads out side and gives the crew on the docks the ok to untie Hammersley she then slowly guides Hammersley off the wharf and out into the harbour.

Once out in open water Kate leaves her XO in charge as she heads down to her cabin.

**FLASH BACK**

"_What are we going to say to Maxine if she turns up and finds you here?" Mike says once they are home from the hospital._

"_What the doctor told us. If she complains then she can talk to the doctor." She replies back as she gentle curls up beside him on the bed. They lay there enjoying just being with each other._

"_Kate, I never got to tell you with everything that has been going on but I put you on the promotions list." He says to her a few minutes later._

"_I already know Maxine told me."_

"_Why are you wonting a transfer?" he asks some fear evident in his voice._

"_Because I thought you did trust me with Hammersley."_

"_Pardon?" he says confused._

"_I saw the list on your desk when I got that tape for you, and as you had already told me that they could command a tug boat let alone a warship I thought you didn't trust me."_

"_That was the revised list honey."_

"_I know that now but I didn't then I thought you thought that of me."_

"_If I did there would have been no way in hell you would have been my 2IC, if that was the case."_

"_Oh so you didn't keep me around just to steer at my body?' she asks her voice a little more upbeat and cheeky._

"_That was a bonus, no you're a brilliant XO honey and you deserve to be made CO of Hammersley you've earned it as far as I'm concerned. Plus maybe I should have said something to Maxine about it sooner. I'm sorry." He says to her._

"_It's ok your here and still alive that is all that matters."_

"_No what matters is where we go from here?"_

"_Let's talk about that tomorrow right now I just want to reacquaint myself with you." She says as she leans over him and places a gentle kiss on his lips, as she pulls away his hand finds the back of her neck and head and he pulls her back down to his lips again, the kiss being more passionate than what they had expected, their emotions, fears and love for each being poured out, the kiss heats up even more and before long they are both lying on the bed naked._

"_Honey if we do this there's no turning back." He says in between laying kisses along her body._

"_I know, I want you." She says as another moan escapes her lips._

"_Kate I mean it." He says as he positions himself above her._

"_Mike just do it please. I need you so badly." She says looking him in the eyes. __**Mike I need to feel you, know that this is real that you are really here**__. She thinks and he can tell this from her eyes. He slowly and gentle pushes himself into her._

Kate sits there in her chair in her cabin remembering that night after they rescued him from Gorski, she remembers those words he told her. The last time they made love. After that night they both promised they wouldn't do it again only because they didn't want Kate to accidently get pregnant before he was off the boat. They set rules down in place so that they would be breaking the no frat rules. But they did spend every spare moment ashore that they could together. Talking Mike had suggested they go to Tahiti once her promotion came through. She had a good idea why he wanted to go there and it didn't worry her. She wanted marriage, children, shore posting at some stage and a house with a white picket fence. Well maybe not white or picket but a home, a family with someone she loved. Now she wonders if she will ever get that.

_He says he loves me and he even said that night he left, but if he did would he truly hurt me like this. Maybe this is how it felt for him when I did what I did and then rubbed Jim in his face. Should I let him off easy or should I make him work for us again, it's not like he ended it I did. He's doing this to protect himself. But we have to try don't we? If I meet him half way maybe that will help? God what the hell do I do?_ She thinks to herself as she sits there trying to sort her head out. Seeing him at the docks throw her for a sixer. She was going to go see him but that was at his home not on the docks, in front of Hammersley.


	12. Chapter 12

"How did it go?" Peter asks his son when he gets back in the car.

"Why do I bother." He says quietly under his breath.

"Mike?" his father asks again worried about what must have happened as he starts the car up and leaves the parking lot.

"I spoke to her like you said I should but she isn't making it easy for me."

"Well I don't blame her not with how you've been treating her."

"Dad"

"Don't dad me. I was happy to bring you down to the docks to talk to her. Just don't stuff around this time." There is silence in the car as they continue to drive towards Mike's house.

"Look son we know she means a lot to you. She's been the only woman you have ever brought home to meet us. For you to do that son must mean you were or are very serious about her. When she returned back into your life whenever we rang you or you rang us you would talk about her. You may not have realised it but we did. You've never been this way about any other person you have been with." He says to his son. He allows his words to sink in to Mike. Giving him time to process what has been said.

A few minutes later the car pulls into the drive way of Mike's place.

"Mike I know first time around for you two it didn't work because of the circumstances over how you meet and how it would have looked for both of you. I know you left to save her career but Mike how serious are you about her? Are you prepared to give up your career for her if that is what it will take to make sure this relationship works?" he says looking at his son and he can tell his oldest boy is truly thinking about what has been said to him by his father. A few minutes later they both step out of the car and head inside. Mike taking his time as he works the crutches.

"Mum I need your help with something." He says once he finds his mother in the laundry.

"What is it you need help with?"

"I want to get something for Kate but it is hard to shop while on these things. I was going to look on line for some ideas, but I would like a female point of view on it. Would you help me please?" He says, sounding ashamed that he is having to ask his mother for help in sorting out something for Kate something as an adult he feels he should be able to do.

"Don't feel ashamed son for asking for help. Of course I will help you out. Just give me ten minutes to get this all sorted then we can work on it together." She says happily to him, he then wonders on off back to the lounge where he spends most of his day and fires up his laptop. He starts looking for what it is he wants to get Kate while he waits for his mum.

"Do you need anything before I came and sit down beside you?"

"Yes a drink and something to eat please mum." He says as he keeps his eye on the screen in front of him. A few minutes later she is sitting down beside him.

"Right what have you got in mind?" she says as he then explains to her what he was thinking of getting her and shows his mother a few pictures she talks to him about it. Two hours later they've made a final decision on what it is he is going to get her.

**Hammersley**

"How far away are we from Port Moresby X?" Kate asks as she enters the bridge

"We're about an hour away boss."  
"Good make sure we have teams set up to help where needed. The local police are wanting to meet with me and Lieutenant Commander Vincent once we are there."

"When's Chandlers arriving boss?" Dutchy asks her

"They arrived a few hours ago. Ricky you'll be going to the hospital with their supplies and providing any help that they need." Kate says as she starts to dish out orders on who is doing what and leading what. By the time they arrive in port it is early morning and the crew on Hammersley get straight to work at sorting things out before long the sun is up and the Chandlers crew is also a buzz of activity.

**0900hours**

"How is Mike doing?" Bill asks Kate when they get a moment alone.

"His home now, still on crutches." Kate replies back with. As Bill goes to speak again Kate's mobile goes off. In a way she is pleased she was interrupt by her mobile as she really wasn't in the mood to talk about Mike. Even though there had been a slight improvement yesterday between them she wasn't getting her hopes up that it would stay that way.

"Oh Hello." She says as she walks away from the group. Her voice full of shock at hearing the voice on the other end.

"Maybe I shouldn't have rung then." Disappointed sounding in the callers voice which doesn't go unnoticed by Kate.

"No I'm just surprised you rang that is all." She says as she moves out of earing range. "Why did you ring?" She asks him her voice firm and a tad cross sounding.

"Because I thought you might like to hear from me. Sorry if I got it wrong I won't bother ringing you again." He says his voice fill of sadness and disappointment and before she can reply he has ended the call and all she hears is the beeping telling her he has hung up.

"Damn you Michael Flynn." She says as she tries to ring him back.

"Flynn household."

"Lisa its Kate, can you put Mike on please?" she says surprised to hear Lisa on the phone and not Mike.

"Sure thing Kate." She says as she heads towards where she last knew Mike was she goes to open the door and hears a faint noise from his room, she is pretty sure he is crying but trying not to let anyone hear him. She lightly knocks on the door.

"Come in." he calls out and Kate hears him calling out, and also hears the emotion in his voice too.

"Mike honey, Kate's on the phone she wants to talk to you." His mother says as she passes him and phone then leaves closing the door behind her.

"Yes" he says to her trying to control his emotions.

"Sorry for how I was before you just totally court me off guard." He says nothing in reply to what she has said to him.

"Mike are you going to talk to me."

"I'm not sure." He replies back his voice sounding broken.

"Mike what's wrong?" and she hears him sniffle on the other end of the line.

"You said…I'm trying to…"

"Mike its ok tell me. Don't worry how it sounds.

"When I rang I wasn't expecting the reaction I got from you and it through me."

"What reaction where you expecting?"

"More a happy reaction to the fact that I had rung you; without you saying anything to me. That I was trying to make an effect here I know I stuffed things up but I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to show you that I meant what I said. That I do love you Kate." There is silence by both of them. Him letting her absorb what he has said but also giving her the time to respond to what he has said.

"Look Kate it's ok if you don't want to respond. I just wanted to hear your voice, know that you were still safe and sound and in one piece." He says after a few minutes of total silence from her, more than he had expected from her. His voice fill of concern for her that she ends up smiling.

"Thank you for thinking of me like that." She replies back with.

"Look Mike I really should get back to work. We have supplies to delivery."

"You're up in PNG aren't you?" he asks having seen the news the night before of another explosion.

"Yes how did you know?" she asks

"The news of course. Kate another reason I rang was that I have been asked to return back to Sydney when I am well enough." He hears her intake of air at what he has said. "I need to give them an answer." He says.

"By when?"

"Well they saying that my doctors here said I can go back to light duties as early as next week."

"Oh well I hope everything goes well for you in Sydney."

"Kate I haven't said yes or no yet I need…I need to…know from you if I should stay here or not?" he mangers to get out to her.

"I can't make that decision for you."

"So you can't give me one good reason to stay then?" He says his voice breaking and sounding sad that she won't say the one thing he wants her to say. '_Stay.'_ That is all he wants her to say but so far nothing from her.

"It's not my decision Mike it is up to you it's your career we're talking about."

"We're not just talking about that Kate there is far more pressing issues at hand than my navy career. Look I'll let you get back to work. Talk later." He says before hanging up on her again. This time she doesn't get cross over the fact he hung up, more pleased he is giving her the change to think about everything he has said to her, she heads back to work issuing out the orders to her crew.

**BACK IN CAIRNS**

Mike is lying on his bed not sure what to do. He wants to head back to Sydney in away but he also wants to stay. But he only wants to stay if she wants him too.

**THREE DAYS LATER **

"I don't know what to do about it anymore?"

"She is right though it is your choice your career that your risking here Mike."

"I know it is but I just, I was hoping she would tell me to stay give me a reason to stay and not run away like I normal do."

"Have you given them an answer yet?"

"No I'm meant to give it to them by the end of today but when I have rung she's either been too busy or she's total ignored the topic all together."

"Mike what is your worst fear over going back to Sydney?"

"That she'll hate me. That I'll lose everything I have. Be lonely and alone for the rest of my life."

"That is your own choice being lonely Mike."

"I can't be with anyone else though. She is, has been the only one I could think of having a life with, a family but every time we try something just gets in the damn stupid way."

"Well have you thought more about what we talked about several weeks ago?"

"About leaving the Navy for good?" he replies as watches as the other person in the room nods his head.

"Yes I have. But…"

"No buts Mike remember you have to be honest with me tell me why you're not yet prepared to do it if it means you two can be together without work being the biggest white elephant in the room for you two."

"I don't want to leave and have her throw it in my face or even worst case scenario is she doesn't want to be with me after all the walls have been removed, where we can have a true proper relationship without fear, worry or hiding our feelings." There is silence in the room.

"The whole time I was kidnap all I could think about was her and all the bloody stuff ups I had made. I wanted to so badly make it all right. I brought a ring, booked tickets to Tahiti I was going to propose to her while on holiday show her that I do what marriage, children and all that goes with it with her."

"So your prepared to give this relationship with her another go are you?"

"…Yes." He slightly hesitates as he says its.

"You just said before you want it all with her, you used present tense not past Mike, this is the first time in months have you spoken about the two of you in that sort of way."

"So how were things when you were on Chandlers being CO?"

"It felt good but odd at the same time."

"Why was that?"

"For some unknown reason I felt like I was having to prove myself to fleet command and then not having Kate beside me like I'm so use to having just felt odd. It did feel nice to be back out on the water." He says smiling at the end of it. "But I don't know if I want to be back out there full time. Being in Sydney working a day job being able to go sleep in a proper bed, go out to dinner on the weekends, be able to make plans. It felt so much more normal it made me realise even more what I have been missing out on, what could have been."

"Did the explosion in PNG cause any flash backs, or triggers of any kind?" he asks Mike. Mike just shakes his head.

"It was really strange I was on the phone to Maxine talking about Kate when the next thing I know I'm on the ground, listening to my buffer screaming at me. He was with Hammersley several years ago when I was saving the life of an SAS captain when I got hit by parts of a mortar shell in the same leg. Kate may not have known it but I heard her crying, telling me not to die, and all I could think about when lying on the ground with Pete pressing on my leg talking to me was her voice that day and how upset she sounded. Back then we had only been working together for about a year and she was seeing the guy that I saved and there she was telling me not to die and crying. When I woke up after the surgery all I could think about was how I had done it again. Put my life on the line for what? For nothing. Yea I know that the explosion was not directed at me or my crew but it doesn't stop you from thinking those things. It doesn't stop you from thinking about all those times where your live has been on the line and all you can think about are all the damn bloody mistakes you've made throughout your life."

"Mike you survived remember you can't let those things get to you."

"How can you not? I've put Kate, my crew, my friends and family through hell all over what. A job it's not worth it anymore." He says sounding so defeated.

The two keep on talking for another twenty minutes before it is called to an end. Mike leaves feeling emotionally and physical drained from his session with the counsellor.

"Has Kate rung?" He asks as he walks inside the house after having the taxi drop him off home.

"No dear." His mother says and she sees the disappointed look on her sons face. She watches as he picks up the cordless phone and heads towards his bedroom. She hears him shutting the door.

**CANBERRA**

**Captain Marshall's office**

"Captain Steve Marshall Speaking."

"Steve its Brain Shepherd speaking."

"Brain how are things going?" Steve asks him.

"Well I'm ringing regarding Commander Mike Flynn." Steve hears the serious tone being used when Brain speaks this sentence.

"Go ahead." Steve says as he leans back in his chair to listen to what is said.

"I've just finished another session with Mike, Steve and things haven't improved at all if not since he got injured I would say they have gotten worse. I have read over his notes from Adam in Sydney and he was shown a slight improvement but now that is not the case."

"So what is your recommendation?"

"Personally or professionally Steve?" he asks. Having been long-time friends with Steve he knows he can say some things to him in confidence.

"Personally as friends Brain."

"He's not emotional stable enough to return to work. He's got far too many doubts about a lot of things including his job. He's question wither it is all worth it now."

"Shit" is Steve's response to what he has heard.

"And what will you put down as professional reason?"

"I would be stating that it would be best for Mike to continue his sessions with me personally as I know his history and what he is truly like. I can pick up when he is lying but the most important part Steve is he knows me so is opening up a far lot better than he will with anyone else. If we want him better he needs to stay in Cairns where I can work with him and hopefully get him through all of this. Also Steve if you guys send him to Sydney it's not going to help solve the main issue at hand for him."

"Kate."

"Yes." He agrees to Steve's one word answer come question

"Ok leave it with me Brian I'll let them know that he can't return to Sydney on recommendation from you. Do you think he should be returning back to work?"

"Yes I do but not out on the water. A desk job would be best for now. Something different something he is not use to dealing with or doing might help him through all of this." The two say their goodbyes. Steve thing rings and sorts out someone to take over from Mike in Sydney and then rings Maxine to talk to her.


	13. Chapter 13

Hammersley

Kate is sitting in her cabin thinking. Thinking about what Mike had said to her.

_Why was it so hard for me to tell him to stay? Why couldn't I do it, why did I throw it back at him? All he did was ask me for one good reason to stay and I couldn't say anything to him at all._ She thinks to herself and she rest her head on her hands, as she sits at her desk.

_He's rung but every time we approach the subject I change the subject I don't want him to regret staying by blaming me because I told him to stay. We've talk about everything else but his job. I can't even ring him he rings me._ She says to herself.

Back at Mike's place.

"Sir, Commander Mike Flynn speaking do you have some free time to speak to me?"

"Of course Mike what can I do for you?"

"It's about me returning back to Sydney this weekend; I don't think I'm ready to return to work yet."

"When do you think you will be your doctors have stated that you can do light duties."

"I know that Sir but I'm thinking of taking some leave."

"How long for?" Marshal is not at all surprised to hear this request from Mike, not after the talk he had with Brian his counsellor.

"I'm not sure how long I will need off." Mike hears tapping on a keyboard. And there is silence on the other end of the line.

"Ok then Mike take as much time as you need and I will work it all out at this end. Going by what is on your record you've got about twelve weeks you can take that includes pay."

"Hopefully I want need that long to decide Sir."

"To decide what Mike?" Steve asks wondering if Mike himself has come to the same conclusion as Brian.

"Mike you can tell me you know." Steve says and Mike hears the chance in tone to the more friendly tone he uses a tone that Mike's if he says something Steve won't use it against him.

"I need some time to sort out some personal issues and I can't make a decision about my job until my personal issues are dealt with."_ My demons, Kate live in general._ He thinks to himself

"Ok Mike just ring and let me know what you decide and when."

"Will do Steve and thank you." Mike says as he hangs up the phone.

NAVCOM

Maxine is working away on her laptop when it chimes to inform her a new email has come in, she quickly flicks screens and so she can see who it si form and how urgent it is.

From: Captain Steve Marshall

Subject: Commander Mike Flynn

Commander Maxine White

I have just been speaking to Commander Flynn and he has requested a personal leave for an unknown set period of time. I have already informed Sydney that he will not be returning this week to commence as a tutor on Monday as was planned. As Commander Flynn was under your command at the time of injury his leave will need to be noted by your office as well and that Commander Flynn until he returns back to active duty you will stay as his Commanding Officer until he is reassigned a new position.

Thank you

Captain Steve Marshall

Maxine quickly types back a reply to Steve and before she gets a chance to ring Mike about Kate walks in.

"Kate how's it going?"

"Tired the crew and I could do with a 24hr shore leave ma'am." Kate says and Maxine can hear the tiredness in her voice. "Look I understand that we are needed up there too, but if my crew keep working like they are there is going to be an accident of some forum. All I'm asking is for twenty four hours for them to go see family, friends and sleep in a normal bed. Plus gives the guys a chance to do some maintance on the engines." Kate says back trying to give Maxine a damn good enough reason to have Hammersley docked for 24hours. Maxine decides to agree to it.

"Ok twenty four hours down time but you guys will be sailing tomorrow at 1800 hours back to Port Moresby with some more supplies."

"That is fine ma'am." Kate replies and the two talk for another twenty minutes before Kate inform the crew of their leave and heads home herself to enjoy a relaxing bath, DVD and her own bed.

Kate arrives home and goes to her freezer and pulls out one of the meals that Lisa had so kindly done up for her. For Kate these were a blessing as it saved her from having to buy some food to cook dinner and also due to being so tired she could have a proper meal and not take out.

As she is sitting down on her couch with her dinner and the movie playing she hears knocking on her door.

"Coming." She yells out as she places her food down on the coffee table in front of her before walking to her front door she takes a quick look through the glass panel on the side and notices it is Mike.

"What are you doing here?" She says to him once the door is open.

"Maxine informed me you had some leave." He says not sure how she is going to be since her greeting wasn't as expected from her.

"That was nice of her so why are you here?" her tone of voice showing no signs of being happy he just showed up at her house, as she leans against the door frame.

"Well I take you don't want me here then, I'll just give you these and leave you too it." He says as he moves his hands from behind him passing her a bouquet of mixed wildflowers and the gift he had brought for her. She takes them but is stunned that he came bearing gifts as she happened even noticed he had his hands behind his back the whole time they had been talking. She stands there her mouth wide open as he starts to walk away from her.

"Mike." she calls out just as he gets to his car, he turns and looks at her and she sees the sadness in his features.

"Come inside please." She pleads with him. As she now feels bad for treating him how she did when he comes around and surprises her and brings something other than wine to her house. She turns and leaves the door open hoping he will follow. He stands by his car thinking if he should go but then decides there is nothing to lose by going inside. He enters the house and closes her front door behind him.

"Mike you didn't have to get me this." She says as she turns to face him holding the gold bangle with diamonds inset into the gold in her hand.

"I know I didn't have too."

"Mike this must have been expensive, I can't accept it." She says as she continues to hold it in her hand.

"It's yours. I know you don't wear much jewellery and it hadn't gone unnoticed that you do tend to wear the last one I brought you eleven years ago a lot even when we weren't together you still wore it." He says as she steps closer to hoping she won't back away from him.

"Mike I can't take it it's far too much." She says trying to give it back to him but his hands end up going around hers and his touch sends a shiver through her body, Mike feels the jolt of electricity go through both of them as he in cases her hands within his.

"It's yours honey, read what is engraved inside of it and you also should go eat your dinner before it gets cold." He says having noticed her dinner on the coffee table and the smell. The all to familiar smell of his mother's home cooked meals. He moves away and sits on her couch as she stands there and reads what has been engraved into the bangle.

_To Kate with all my love Mike_

She stands there reading it over several times before putting it on and moving to sit down beside Mike. She looks over at him and he sees her glassy eyes.

"Sorry did I do the wrong thing?" he asks worried that his simple gesture had, had the wrong effect on her.

"No. It's lovely Mike but..."

"No buts now eat." He says to her. As he points to her dinner she picks up her plate and starts to eat her meal as they both sit there in watching the movie that Kate had playing.

Once she had finished eating she places her plate back down on the coffee table before moving closer to Mike's side and curling up into him, he moves his arm so it wraps around her shoulders pulling her closer to his side. As he goes to breath in he smells the combination of sea air, salt and her vanilla body wash and he relaxes more, for Kate being able to take in his scent, the smell of his aftershave mixed with his own body smell gets her heart beating that little bit faster, she snuggles in closer to him as they both sit there watching the DVD together.

Sometime later the sound of a ringing phone and Mike moving his body wakes Kate up for an enjoyable sleep.

"MMM" She groans out as Mike's answers the phone and she listens in to what he is saying. It is not long later that he says his goodbyes to whoever it was before planting a kiss on Kate's head.

"Sorry that the phone woke you."

"It's ok who was it?"

"Mum just making sure everything was ok." He says as he keeps an arm around her.

"What time is it?" she asks as she tries to move off him but he won't let her, as his arm tightens around her waist.

"Nine." He responds after looking at his watch, he flicks the volume back on to the movie he is watch on her television.

"Hey can you let go please I need to go bathroom." She says after trying to get out of his hold and him not letting her move.

"Sorry." He says sheepishly to her not realising she needed the bathroom.

"It's ok." She says after getting up as she goes to place a kiss on his cheek he moves and their lips touch in the kiss. Neither pulls away from each other. His hand moves up to cup the side of her face, reluctantly he pulls away and rest his forehead against hers, he notices her eyes are closed.

"MMM that was nice." He says. "Hurry up go bathroom and then come back." He says as she goes to move away.

Not long later she returns to the couch and goes to sit down beside Mike but she notices that he is now lying on the couch.

"Mike did you really drive over here?" she asks as she was sure he was still on the crutches and should be still on them.

"Yes I did."

"And what does the doctor think of you driving and not using your crutches?"

"Doesn't know."

"Michael Flynn you've got to do as you're told otherwise this leg will be useless if it doesn't heal properly. You won't be able to get back out on the water."

"So." He says as if not returning to the water isn't an issue for him.

"Come on Mike I know how much the water means to you."

"It use to but not anymore." He says as if it isn't anything new to him and this throws Kate. She never heard him speak like this about his job and not being able to be out on the water. There is silence between the two. She not sure what to say to him and him hoping she won't push the factor.

"So when do you return back to Sydney?" She asks this being the first time since he told her about it four days ago has she brought it up.

"I'm not." She looks up him having snuggled back into his side at some stage during their conversation. He notices the shock expression on her face.

"I've taken some leave."

"Why?" she says her voice quiet all of a sudden.

"Because I need time to sort a few things out."

"What things?" she says her voice semi muffled by his chest as she places her head on his chest.

"This mainly." He says as he moves his hand between the two of them "I don't want to return to work till we have worked out what is going on between us."

"Oh." she says surprised and shocked that he is putting them before his job. "Why?" she then asks. "Why now?" she says as she moves away from him and sits up. He goes to move and when he moves his leg he gets a sharp jolt of pain which she notices on his face that he hurt himself.

"You ok?"

"Yea just moved my leg the wrong way." He says as he starts to rub his leg.

"Do you need something for the pain?"

"No thanks. I can't take anything anyway. Well not yet." He replies this informs her he has already taken something before arriving at her place.

"Is that how you got to be able to drive here and not use your crutches? You swallowed something good and strong for the pain?"

"Yes but my crutches are in the car, just hard to use them and carry the flowers and your present." He says as he rubs parts of his leg to help with the pain that is running through his leg. Kate gentle takes his leg and lays it over her lap so that he is sitting with his back against the side of her couch his right leg over her lap and his left placed so it hangs off the side of the couch. She unzips the side of his tracksuit pants and moves it up his leg and starts to gentle rub his calf making sure not to rub where his main wounds is on his leg.

"Unusual for you to wear these?" she says to him.

"Yea jeans are too tight need something loose around my leg. Plus make it easier for when I need it to be checked out." He says as he lies his head back enjoying the feel of her hands on his leg.

"That feeling good?"

"Mmm" he replies back with as well as nodding his head in agreement to her.

"You want to know why?" he asks her a few minutes later his leg feeling less sore and the muscles relaxing after his walk without his crutches.

"Yes, why now? Why not before."

"Well last time someone decide to end things." He bites back at her, then immediately regrets his words and tone of voice he had used.

"Your right you did try and I..."

"Don't Kate we all make mistakes." He quickly says cutting her off. As he now looks at her reaching out to gentle touch her face.

"When I was seeing my shrink today we went over so many different things and I came to the realisation, well the shrink and dad's help. That this job, my career; your career has always been the issue here. Always been what has either caused us to break the rules then split, of not be able to do anything than get what two nights of passion in five years. I was serious before about leaving if it meant we got everything we talked about and I'm still prepared to do that." He says as he gentle caresses the side of her face as he leans forward as he talks to her, she turns her head to look at him. "So I took some leave. Then the only thing we have to work around is you and your roster while we work on this." He says and his hand moves to the back of her head and neck and then pulls her just the little bit further towards him, his lips finding hers and him leaving a gentle kiss on her lips. They pull back and look at each.

_Can we really do it this time?_

_I think we can but I do think we need to set some rules_

They say to each other without using words.

"I have an unknown length of leave time. There is no rush here so don't feel pressured to make your mind up tonight." He says as his hand stays on her neck his thumb and fingers gentle massaging her neck.

"Come here he says as he moves his leg off her lap and pulls her into his side, her tears now falling and he can hear her crying. "Shh honey its ok." He says as he gentle rubs her back, as he lies down the best he can with Kate on top of him.

"I thought I'd stuff this up to much for you to even think of sorting this out." She says in between soft intakes of breath from crying.

"I nearly didn't but I had someone kick me up the behind for being like I was towards you. I understand you were trying to protect me but I don't want you doing that anymore unless it's my life that is on the line. You mean more to me than my career and maybe I needed this accident to happen to finally see that and sort myself out." He says to her as she moves and places a kiss on his lips that deepens quickly by both of them.

"So if I kiss you I'm not going to be breaking any rules then?" She asks him as she moves herself up his body some more.

"Nope not at all right now we can do anything and everything and not be breaking any rules." He says and that is all she needs. She allows her heart to lead her not her brain. She knows she should be doing this but right now all she wants to feel him, touch him, taste him. Have him anyway she can.

"Will you stay tonight?" she asks, he wants to say no but he also wants to continue enjoying the time they have together.

"If I stay I will need my crutches from the car and the bag that is in the boot." He says as he passes her his car keys. She gives him another passionate kiss leaving him with no doubt at all about how she feels.

As she walks out to the car her brain starts going over things.

_You idiot you shouldn't have asked him to stay it will only lead to one thing._

_You should be taking this slow and steady, jumping into bed with him this quickly will only lead ot heart break like the last few times it has happened._

Not long later she re-enters her house with his items in hand, she locks the front door and passes him his crutches which he takes and them makes his way to the stair case and hobbles his way up the stairs as she turns off the lights within the house and then heads up herself, finding him just starting to sit down on her bed. He lays the crutches down beside the bed and as he sits up fully again Kate is standing in front of him she reaches to his top and helps him remove it and he doesn't stop her but does talk.

"Kate you're sure about doing this tonight?"

"Yes." She says so firmly that it leaves no doubts in his mind that this is what she wants. As she then starts to kiss him. Mike being the only man in her life that has ever been able to get her from being totally mad and angry at him to wanting to make love to him within minutes of each other.

An hour later they lay together in bed with the sheet over top of them. Kate total snuggled up into Mike's left hand side, his hand gentle tracings circles on her back. Before long she is falling asleep the gentle caresses from him on her back, her body being total sedated from their passionate love making and his scent helping easily get to sleep for the first time in a long time.

Mike hears her breathing change as she lies on his chest. He says I love you to her before kissing her head and drifting off to sleep himself.


	14. Chapter 14

The sun was peering through the windows of the bedroom, its rays lighting up the room and casting a warm glow over the two occupants of the bed.

Mike was the first one to wake that morning after the best sleep he had, had since the accident and maybe even before then. His brain not filled with the nightmares he had been having but of his future with the woman who was still asleep, her head on his chest, her arm wrapped around his waist and her left leg over his left leg, her body pressed up as close as it could to his body. For him it felt right, he felt like he was home where he belonged. He lays there holding her, taking in her smell and just enjoying the closeness of each other while it lasts. As he looks down at her he sees the sun's rays reflecting off Kate's blonde hair giving her hair more glow. His heart swells at the fact that they were able to do what they did last night and not have to worry about what it will do to their careers. A few minutes later she starts to wake up.

As she wakes her sleep clogged mind tries to figure out why there is someone in her bed, as she breaths in the smell, the all too familiar smell of Mike, a smile breaks out on her face as she remembers what they did last night then a sudden realisation hits her.

"Where is this going?" She blurts out to the room.

"Where do you want it to go?" He asks as his hand gentle rubs up and down her back.

"I won't what we talked about last year."

"Marriage, children?" he asks his voice a tad unsure of it all and this is picked up by her.

"Yes but most importantly I want you. But Mike there has always been something that stops us."

"Work is no longer going to be what stops us from being together this time. I will leave just to make sure it won't happen."

"We've tried before and it's never gotten off the ground how can you be sure that it will this time? How can you be sure that whatever job you do won't play a role in tearing us apart again?" she says as the emotions of this being tear apart hurts her, and he hears her voice change with the emotions of everything they have been through.

"I can't guarantee that my job, no our jobs won't cause issues but this time we both have to be prepared to work on this not just one of us but both of us. We both have to be prepared to put us before our job for a change. Can you do that? Can you trust me enough to know that there is no way in hell that I am letting my job within the navy stop us from being together anymore." There is silence between the two of them, but it isn't an uncomfortable silence.

As they lay there together, his hand gentling rubbing her back, her fingers drawing circles on his chest they think over what is to be.

"This isn't going to be easy Kate we have a lot of history. But I feel this can work if we are prepared to work together to achieve the same result. We both have proven to each other that when we won't to we can work well together. Hammersley is a great example of us working well as a team. Maybe we set some ground rules on things if that will help?" HE says to her as his hand starts to caresses her hip.

"Like what?' She says as she lays there enjoying the feeling of his touch on her hip.

"That we don't make career choices for the other, but we do talk to each other about our career choices, offers or options within reason of course because I'm not going to stop you from getting any promotions if they come your way." He says to her.

"Ok that sounds fear." She replies back to him as she moves and places a kiss on his lips, having decided that talking right now can wait till later.

"Well I really don't want to be a kill joy here but I only have a few hours left at home before I have to go back to work and I can think of far better ways to enjoy our free time." She says as her hand moves down to his manhood and starts to gentle rub it getting the reaction she was hoping for from him. She leans down and places another kiss on his lips; he moves his hand and places it behind her head preventing her from moving away from his lips as he depends the kiss.

An hour later they are still lying in bed when Mike starts to feel the pain in his leg.

"Kate can you get me panadol please." He asks her.

"Is it going to be strong enough for you?"

"No but it will help take the edge off till I can get home to get something stronger."

"So you weren't planning on staying last night?" she asks him.

"No the bag lives in my car for emergencies, so I had no pain killers packed." He says as she hunts around in her bathroom for something strong than panadol.

"Mike I have some Codis and Advil here would you prefer one of those instead."

"Why do you have Codis in your house?" he asks her, but she isn't sure if she should respond. She turns on the shower as she walks back into the room with the Codis for Mike and passes him the different tablets and the class of water.

"Thank you, are you going to answer me?" she looks down at her hand and sits on the side of the bed beside him. He can tell she doesn't really won't to talk about it. "It's ok you don't have to tell me, it just seems strange for you to have such a strong pain relief in the house since your more the panadol type person and only when you really have to take it." He says as he moves. "Go have your shower I'll still be here when you're finished." He says as she then gets up off the bed and heads to the shower. Mike lies there for another five minutes allowing the medication to kick in before moving off the bed and down changing into his clothes before heading down stairs to get breakfast started.

When Kate gets out of the shower and walks into her room she notices Mike is no longer in the room, thinking he had left she goes to get her uniform when she hears something dropped and then cursing coming from down stairs. She ends up smiling at what Mike had said when he dropped whatever it was that he dropped. She quickly gets on some yoga pants and a t-shirt before heading down the stairs to help Mike out.

"Need any help?" she asks as she comes up behind and wraps her arms around his waist.

"Yes please." He says to her knowing there is no way he can do this without the help from her.

Before long they are sitting down enjoying a cooked breakfast.

"I found it surprising you had eggs in your fridge that were usable and the beacon and has browns in the freezer." He says as he is eating the food.

"That is thanks to your mum she likes to keep my fridge and freezer well stocked."

"I noticed that."

"So how much longer are they going to be up here?"

"I'm not sure. The joys of owning a farm and having someone else running it. Gives you as much free time as you want. Mum said she won't return till she knows I can handle looking after myself on my own, and this leg is taking longer than I hoped to come right."

"I noticed your still on the crutches I thought you would have been at least down to one by now?"

"I can use one and I can walk without them but I don't last long before I need them and when I do walk without them the next day is not so good."

"So will you ever be able to go back out to sea?"

"I don't know, they hoping to get full mobility back but as time goes on and the longer it takes to come right might mean I may not get full range of movement back. There is scar tissue from the mortar that hit my leg several years ago that is causing a few issues with it all."

"So how long before you will know?"

"Not sure. But anyway time for you to go get dressed for work." He says as he goes to get up.

"You sit down, I get these dishes in the dishwasher and I'll drive you home and then your mum or dad can drop me off at the docks." She says as she takes the plates and heads to the kitchen to finish loading the dishwasher before turning it on and heading up stairs to get her duffel bag and also change into her uniform for work.

Over the next few days the crew on Hammersley noticed a happier Kate. Joking more with the crew and she is more relaxed as well. No one asked what had happened as they all knew she was a private person when it came to her private life, though for Dutchy and Nikki they were pretty sure they knew the reason and the person behind her more cheerful state.

Her and Mike talked some more while she was out on Patrol, Mike was also able to get down to only needing one crutch to move around making it easier for him to do things for himself. His leg was still causing issues, and he was still suffering with pain, some of it from the nerves that were damaged and also from scar tissue as well that was forming and being stretched. But for him the worst time for the pain and discomfort was first thing in the morning after sleeping and his leg not being used at all.

**Five days later**

**Canberra**

**Australia**

**Monday Morning**

**Meeting of promotions board**

"So how many do we have up for Promotion on this round." The Chairmen asks the group.

"There have been ten sailors put forward for officer's positions and five officers for higher ranking officer's ranks and forty five sailors for other promotions." Says one of the officers within the room.

"Ok then we will start with the sailors and work our way up everyone ok with that?" the chairmen of the board asks and everyone agrees to what he has said. Over the next two hours they go through all forty five Sailors who are up for promotion and every single one of them is passed. When it comes to these lower ranking sailors they only get to go up a rank with careful thought from officers higher up than them so passing them is normal not too much hard work or thought by the promotions board.

"So our ten sailors that are looking at officers ranks who are they?" the Chairmen says and the board goes through those before they know it lunch time has arrived having spent hour or so going over the list and working out if they are ready for promotion any pros and cons about it for the person and their track record. They finish the list and head off for lunch.

An hour later the board enters the room to go over the last five names on the promotions list.

An hour into this round of promotions they have approve two to go up a rank decided one to stay at the rank they are.

"Ok next we have Lieutenant Kate McGregor, Executive Officer of Hammersley currently acting Commanding Officer of Hammersley."

"Now how did that come about Captain Marshall?" Asks the Chairmen

"At the time of the first PNG gas explosion, we had a temporary CO on Chandlers while her Co was off on sick leave and still is. Commander Mike Flynn was assigned and he was injured. It wasn't till later did we find out it was Mike, Hammersley was already up there and Chandlers Xo had no experience so between Commander White, Myself and Fleet Command we decided to allow Lieutenant McGregor to bring Chandlers back to base. It was then decided to keep her on as we were lacking someone who could take over. A couple of weeks later Hammersley new CO Lieutenant Commander Bill Vincent suggested a swap of command, he go on Chandlers and Kate back to Hammersley as she had some family matter to attend to."

"Did she put Mr Vincent up to this?"

"No Commander White was talking to him about their next set of orders when he heard about her family issues and offered to do it to give Miss McGregor an extra day to get everything sorted."

"I suppose it wouldn't have anything to do with Commander Flynn would it?"

"I'm not total sure Sir I was not given the full specs into it all."

"So how was she on Chandlers?"

"Reports from the crew all par one has come back glowing."

"Par one and who was that from?"

"The Executive Officer, but having spoken to Lieutenant McGregor, and Lieutenant Commander Vincent. Chandlers new Executive Officer has a lot of learning to do and has no respect for his crew members. I do have written reports from the three CO's that have worked above him and Commander White and so far all reports are the same."

"Ok so what was in his report out of interest?"

"He says she is a hard task master, doesn't take jokes to well, likes things to be done right, and doesn't enjoy being questioned or her orders not being followed. Seems to enjoy handing out toothbrushes as punishment to the crew. Oh and this one might make you laugh. Hates it when my syntax isn't up to her standard and at times seems to do things more like a cowboy than an officer in control of a warship." The group laugh at the last references they know who has tort her those things.

"So how has she been getting on as acting CO?" he then asks and someone else reads out the report that they have from Maxine about her, there is also a report from Lieutenant Commander Vincent on how she wanted to get more experience at running a warship and how he went about providing her with this knowledge.

"Ok so we have Commander Mike Flynn recommendation from her first round which we will include in this one."

"Excuse me Sir but I have a letter here stating that he doesn't want his recommendation from when he was CO of Hammersley to be used this time around."

"Does it state why Captain Price?"

"No it doesn't sir."

"When did you get that?" Marshall asks.

"It was delivered to the board this morning I just opened it."

"Steve do you know anything about this?"

"No I don't sir."

"Do you have any idea why he has done this?"

"I may do Sir but without the proof I can't be total sure."

"Do you think it might be related to the reason he has taken extended leave?"

"I do think his leave is part of it Sir. He may not wont his own personal issues at present to impact on her promotion so he may have thought it be better that his recommendation only stands for that first round." Marshall says back he has a good idea why Mike has pulled it but he doesn't want to say unless it is true and if that is so.

"Ok Steve I want you to go up to Cairns and find out why this has happened see if Lieutenant McGregor has asked for him to pull it, or if he did it own his own. Check with Commander White too please. Until I know the full reason for him pulling his recommendation from this promotional round for her I will not allow us to decide on if she should or shouldn't get her promotion." The chairman says. They then get onto the last person who they approve. It is after five before they have left the officers and Steve has booked himself on a flight to Cairns for first thing in the morning. He found out that Hammersley was in port and he asked Maxine to make sure that they were still there in the morning and to bring Kate in for a meeting at 0900hours, He was yet to inform Maxine of what was going on as he wanted to find out the truth from all those involved before they had a chance to sort something out.

I just hope the reason he has pulled it is because the two of them have sorted things out and are together, and if so why the hell wouldn't he just come to me and tell me. Marshall thinks to himself as he is driving home to his wife.

**Hammersley**

"Hear there Captain speaking, I have just been informed by Commander White that we will be in port overnight and sailing sometime tomorrow afternoon. Once all work stations are clean and we have finished docking procedures you are free to go home but please make sure you're here for duty watch if you are roster on. That is all." Is heard within the ship.

For the crew the unexpected night ashore is greatly welcomed as they all thought it would be a simple drop off and turn around.

We got some shore leave you home tonight? Kate texts Mike. A few minutes later her phone beeps letting her know she has a message, she pulls her phone out of her pocket and looks at the screen and notices the name Mike flash up, she smiles and clicks up.

Sure am dinner and movie at my place? And she quickly types a reply back as Hammersley is guided on to the wharf with expertise from their helmsmen. Once Hammersley is all tied up to the wharf she heads off to her cabin to finish off some reports before heading to Navcom.

**An hour later**

**Navcom **

**Cairns**

"Lieutenant how was the trip?"

"Good thank you ma'am." Kate says as she hands over her reports. "Ma'am can I ask why we are being kept in overnight with an unknown sail time tomorrow?"

"Yes you can know why. You have a meeting with Captain Marshall 0900hours tomorrow morning." Kate swallows the lump that has quickly formed in her throat.

"Do you know why ma'am?"

"No I don't sorry." Kate just sits there.

"Oh."

"Kate I also have a meeting with Steve straight after you do. I have no idea what it is about till then. He won't even let me sit in on the meeting he is having with you so I think it has something to do with us and he doesn't want either of us there with the other just in case." Maxine looks at Kate and can tell she is worried. "If it was serious he would be here right now telling us both off. Go home enjoy your evening and I will see you back here bright and early tomorrow morning." Maxine says dismissing Kate from her office.

Once Kate leaves Maxine office she heads home to change before heading over to Mike's.

Mike is sitting relaxing on the couch when he hears knocking at his door.

"Coming" He calls out as he makes his way to his front door and opens it pleased to see Kate standing on the other side.

"On one crutch now are we?"

"Yep, thought I told you I was?" He says as he allows her to enter.

"Yes you did but I didn't believe you." She replies back cheekily to him. "So what's for dinner?"

"Stir fry, was waiting for you to arrive before I started it."

"You mean so I end up cooking it."

"No not at all, just you never said what time you would arrive so I prepared it all so all I have to do is cook it once you got here." He says as he comes up beside her and wraps his free arm around her waist before planting a kiss on her lips before pulling apart and heading to the kitchen to turn the stove on.

"So where are your parents?"

"They decided to head home for a couple of days and make sure the farm workers hadn't burnt the place down." He says as he gets the items from the fridge. "Mum will be back, dad said he might stay behind."

"Mum not trusting you to do as you're told then?"

"Yea something like that." he says as he puts the first lot of ingredients in the pan.

The two talk some more mainly about little things, once the stir fry was cooked Kate helped set the table and carry the plates over for Mike.

"So some unexpected down time must be nice."

"Yes and No I have a meeting with Captain Steve Marshall tomorrow?"

"What about?" he asks as he gets up and takes his plate to the kitchen, Kate following him.

"I have no idea not till tomorrow anyway."

"Didn't Maxine know?"

"No she also said she has a meeting with him as well, did he call you at all?"

"Nope not at all sorry. Anyway what movie to do you won't to watch?"

"There is a good one on the movie channel tonight."

"Not some romantic one is it?" he says as he places the dishes in the dishwasher and turns it on

"No it's not, you should like it, and it's the X-Files second movie I want to believe." She says as she gets them something to drink and takes them to the lounge.

"You're not just watching it because I'm an X-files fan are you?"

"Nope not at all." She replies as they both settle down on the couch and watch the movie.


	15. Chapter 15

"Kate if you don't hurry up your be late." Kate hears as she finishes getting her whites on in Mike's bedroom.

"Coming." She says as she leaves the bedroom heading towards the kitchen. "Well it's your fault if I do end up late. You're the one that got things started this morning." She says remembering there earlier early morning activities in bed that she also encouraged by not stopping him.

"I didn't hear you complaining or telling me to stop. If I remember rightly someone was encouraging me on and wanting more." He says as he wraps an arm around her, and then places a kiss on her lips. "Your coffee is in my travel mug for you to enjoy on your way into base." He says as he passes her the mug and notices her worried look.

"Honey if it was really bad Steve would have been up here last night ripping sheds off you or he would have done it over the phone. Don't' worry about it." He says before he gives her one last passionate kiss before guiding her to the front door. "Now go before you are late." He says as she picks up her keys and other items and heads on off to Navcom.

**Navcom**

**Maxine Office**

**0830 hours**

"Morning Maxine is there an office I can use?" Steve says as he enters her office.

"Sure thing there is the office next to mine that is free?'

"Thank you that will do just fine."

"Steve why are you here?" She asks as he goes to step away.

"You'll find out when I talk to you."

"Sir if this involves once of my sailors I do have a right to know." She says more tactically without sounding insubordinate to him.

"Yes that is correct Maxine, but I need to talk to Kate first and get a few more facts before I come to you."

"How serious is whatever it is you are doing?"

"Nothing to worry yourself with Maxine. When Kate arrives send her through please."

"Send me where Sir?" Kate says from Maxine office door. Mike's travel mug in her hands. Steve recognises the mug. _Mike's mug so maybe they have sorted there shit out finally and confessed that they do love each other then and if that is the case then it is totally within reason for Mike to want his recommendation to not stand._ Steve thinks to himself.

"You're early Lieutenant." Steve says not at all surprised she would arrive early since it is something she always does.

"Better to be early than late Sir." She replies back to him looking at both her superior officers.

"Right follow me please Lieutenant." He says as he leaves Maxine office with Kate following behind.

Once in Mike's old office they both take a seat before Steve starts to talk.

"How have you been doing as acting CO of Hammersley Kate?"

"Well I hope I've been doing a good enough job as CO Sir."

"Do you enjoy doing it?" he then asks her.

"I love it, it has always been something I dreamed about having my own command, may not have been under the best or idea circumstances but being giving the trust to do this under those circumstances must mean someone thinks I'm worthy of it Sir. Why do you ask?"

"Well yesterday the promotions board met regarding the list of candidates for Promotion, your name came up."

"I didn't get it did I?" She says and Steve can see the disappointment already on her face, here she is thinking the worst of the outcome when in fact they haven't even decided what to do about her promotion thanks to what Mike has done.

"At this stage Kate no decision has been made re your promotion." And she looks shocks

"Pardon Sir did I just hear you correctly?"

"Yes you did."

"But why?"

"That is why I'm up here Kate and also why Maxine wasn't informed of the reason because I need to find out the truth."

"Truth over what Sir?"

"The truth over why Mike sent a letter in pulling his recommendation for you."

"He what?" She says totally surprised he had done this. _The bastard he doesn't believe I can be a CO, after everything we've been through, trying to go through he's lied to be._ She thinks to herself.

"Mike sent a letter to the promotions board not wanting his recommendation for you to be used in this round of promotions do you know?"

"No Sir I don't. I have no idea why he has done it."

"Did he talk to you about it?"

"No not at all Sir. He did say he wouldn't stop me from getting any promotions but..." She stops but she just can't think straight _He said he wouldn't stop any promotions surely this has now stopped me form getting promoted. Another knock back on my record, I should never have done this, I should never have gotten back with him, I should've confessed to our sins years ago or not stayed on after the old Hammersley was decommissioned. What the hell was I thinking?_ She thinks to herself. That she misses what Steve has just said to her.

"Ok thank you Kate you can go now." He says as she then leaves his office. Due to her being away with her thoughts she didn't hear Steve telling her that this is not a major problem and most likely won't have any bearing on what happens with her promotions he is only here to find out why before they decide what to do and that she has shown since being placed as acting CO that she is totally up to and ready to have her own command. All very important bits of information that if she had heard them she wouldn't be getting so worked up over everything and thinking that thanks to Mike she has lost yet another change at becoming a CO and getting a promotion.

Kate decides to head around to Mike's place, While Steve talks to Maxine.

"Ok Maxine did you know that Mike pulled his recommendation for Kate's promotion?"

"Excuse me he did what?"

"He's refusing to allow his recommendation for Kate to be used in this round of promotions could you possible know why?"

"Um not fully but I have a gut feeling that they have been working out their personal issues with each other since he has been back in Cairns." She says knowing full well he knows that the two have feelings for each other as she confessed to him a few months ago about what was happening between the two. "And maybe he didn't want that to be used against them."

"MM that is what I was thinking."

"Didn't he tell you why when he did it?" Maxine asks him.

"No we as in the promotions board received a letter from him asking not to use his recommendation yesterday morning and the board before they agree to her promotion which is a given anyway they want this cleared up as it is unlike Mike to do to this sort of thing, he doesn't agree to promotions or recommend them unless he thinks they are warranted."

"Yes I could see why the board would want details. Have you spoken to Mike yet about it all?"

"No not yet and that is why I didn't tell you what it was about I wanted to know fully what was going on and get true reactions to my questions not made up ones."

"So how did Kate handle it then?"

"She was surprised by what he had done and had no idea and going by your reaction you also had no idea what he had done?"

"Nope none at all, but he doesn't really like speaking to me about anything that involves Kate and himself. He still blames me for what happened." Maxine says to him.

"Well he has always been a private person when it came to his love life."

"Yes ever since he got hurt by some woman eleven years ago he has been a closed book over his love life."

**Mikes house**

Mike is lying on the couch reading a book when he hears a knock on his door. He gets up and slowly makes his way to the door yelling out to whoever it is that he was coming.

When he open the front door he sees Kate standing there in her whites, angry, cross upset expression on her face.

"Why did you knock, you know you're welcome to walk on in anytime." He says to her

**Slap **Kate reaches out and slaps him across the face.

"What the hell was that for?" Mike says shocked at what Kate had just done, as he rubs his cheek, it stinging from where her hand connected with his check.

"You should bloody well know why." Kate says as she spins to leave his front door step.

"Kate wait, what did I do?" he asks her having no idea where this has come from.

"If you can't figure it out then I'm not telling you or discussing it with you." She says as she spins around and leaves his house. Mike shuts his front door once she had driven off in her car and walks back to his couch, his check still tingling from the force Kate used to slap him. He sits down wondering what it is he has said or done that has caused this chain of events to unfold on his front door step.

Ten minutes later he is trying to ring Kate but she keeps cutting off his calls, in the end all he gets is her answer machine no ring not even on her house phone.

"Bloody hell Kate. What is going on? What have I done that is so bad you hit me then shut me out like this?" He says to himself as he runs his hand through his hair stressing out over what might be going on with Kate.

"What's happened?" He hears being said from his door way. Someone having overheard his last statement to himself. He turns to the sound of the voice wondering why that person is at his house.

"Steve what are you doing?" Mike asks his voice sounding shocked at seeing him in his door way.

"Well I did knock and got no reply from you. When I heard you voice inside I opened the door. So you going to tell me what happened?" Mike says nothing in reply to Steve.

"Ok then I will take a guess, Kate came around here after my meeting with her this morning and wasn't too happy with what I told her and gave you a piece of her mind. How correct is that."

"She didn't give me a piece of her mind she just slapped me one then left and I have no idea why."

"Maybe not telling her about pulling your recommendation for her promotion for this round could be the reason."

"How do you know I did that?"

"I'm on the promotions board Mike, we received your letter yesterday morning during our meeting, the board wanted to know why you did it before finalizing her promotion. So since Maxine and Kate had no idea about you going to tell me why you did it and I want the truth Mike."

There is silence in the room of Mike's house and he thinks about how best to go about this. But Steve speaks first.

"Ok Mike I don't have all day did you pull it because of your personal feelings for her?" he asks him.

"Yes I pulled it because I love her, we've started something well not so sure now, but I didn't want our personal relationship to be used against her or someone says that she only got it because she and I are or were together at the time of her promotion. I don't even know where this is going yet or if we really are in a relationship. We've only spent a couple of nights together and I just thought it be best to not have it included this time around." There is a brief pause before he starts to talk again. "Her career means a lot to her and she was very disappointed when she didn't get the promotion last time around. I didn't want there to be anything stopping her getting it this time around if word got out about us, or word was already out there that there was something more between us than just colleagues"

"Why didn't you say that in the latter you sent us?" Steve says as he sits down on a chair in Mike's lounge.

"Because as I said before I have no real idea where this is going or if it will last it never has done before. I want it to last but…" He stops talking.

"But what Mike?" Steve asks a few minutes later when Mike hasn't added anything on to what he has said.

"But our jobs and careers have always ended up causing us to split and I told her I wasn't going to let it do it to us this time."

"So that is why you've taken some time away from work then?"

"That and to decide if I do really want to continue to work for the Navy. Kate means more to me than my job and I'm going to be putting her first, but right now I also need to work on getting my leg right."

"Will what I did affect her getting her promotion?" Mike asks and Steve can tell by Mike's voice that he is worried.

"No the reason you have given Mike is a valid one. And also to be honest you did the right thing by both of you. The board won't hold it against Kate at all."

"That is good to know but does she know that?" he then adds on.

"I have a feeling she missed half of what I said to her for her to come around and do that to you by the way you now have a nice red mark on your face."

"Yea she hit me hard alright. Stung for a while too."

The two keep talking for a goo hour before Steve leaves. As he leaves Mike's mobile goes off and he answers it hoping it is Kate but when he sees the caller ID it reads Maxine.

"What can I do for you Maxine?" he says into the phone without even saying hello to you.

"Well Hello to you too then Mike."

"Why are you ringing Maxine?" he says again.

"Is Kate with you?"

"No she isn't why do you ask?"

"Because I can't reach her and I need to give her Hammersley's sail time for this afternoon."

"Did you leave a message on her phone?"

"Yes Mike I did I'm not that stupid."

"I meant a message with sail time she may be unable to reach her phone right now Maxine." He says his full of frustrations.

"Ok Mike don't take your issues out on me. It isn't our fault you never told either myself or Kate of the latest stint you just pulled."

"It wasn't a stint as you would call it Maxine I was preventing people talking about us and saying she only got her promotion because we were sleeping together. I just explained it all to Captain Marshall I do not have to explain it to you." He says as he sits on his couch wishing like hell he could pace right now but his leg just won't handle that sort of thing yet.

"Mike I'm your Commanding Officer and you're supposed to come to me about these things not go over my head and do it without telling anyone at all. I looked like a bloody fool in front of my superior." She says her voice sounding cross.

"So is Kate the reason behind you taking leave?" Maxine asks after a few moments of silence between the two.

"Yes and no." He replies back to her.

"Wells he either is or isn't Mike."

"She is part of the reason I took leave." He finally says to her. Look Maxine I have no idea where Kate is right now and there is jack shit I can do about finding her since I'm not allowed to drive. So you will just have to wait for her to return your call." He says to her before hanging up on her.

"Kate where are you? Why are you not answering your phone?" He says to himself as rings her mobile again.

It rings and he gets her answer machine again. He decides to leave a message on it as it is her house phone she may hear him.

"Honey, Steve's been around I guess your cross over me not wanting my recommendation to be included for this round of promotions. I did it for us, for you. Look when you feel up to it ring me please and I'll explain it in more detail, I love you Kate and please ring back." His voice sounding broken by the end of the message. He sits there on his couch tears falling down his face.

"This is never going to work out while both of us are in the Navy is it?" he says to himself.

_I did it for her I didn't want anyone thinking she got it because of me, because we're together. But yet again I've stuffed it up. She works so hard to be where she is today. I think if this is going to work between us I'm going to have to leave the navy something I should have done eleven years ago instead of walking out her door like I did. Mum and dad are right she is the only woman I've ever truly loved, the only one I have brought home to them. I have to make her see I did it for her to protect her, just like she was doing for me with what Maxine had said to her. Oh bloody hell Flynn you're doing what you told her not to too, you idiot. I can't go chasing after her I'm not allowed to drive at all full stop, because of what I did last week to be able to spend some time with her._ He thinks to himself that he doesn't realise that his front door is open and that someone has walked into his house and is listening to him cry while watching him shake his head and then place his head on his hands as more tears fall down his face.

The person who has entered is not sure what to do now. Go to Mike, call out to him and announce their presence or leave and come back later. But the ringing of his mobile puts on any sort of hold to their decision.

"What Maxine." He says grumpily into the phone. The person in the room only hears what he says on the phone to Maxine.

"_Why did you hang up on me?"_

"Because you didn't seem to be bloody well listening to me."

"_Mike I'm just worried about you ok, one minute the two of you are fighting and not talking the next you have her in your bed as if nothing had happened…"_

"Maxine stop right there what happens between Kate and I is our business."

"_I know it is Mike but you've both been through a lot and I don't want to see either of you hurt."_

"That means a lot coming from you not. You could have come to me Max about having to stay on Hammersley. Instead you used her to get to me because you knew full darn well what I would have said to you about it all."

"_And how many times do I have to tell I'm sorry before you start to believe me."_

"Oh I believe you alright Max but you wreck five long years of building back the trust with her after what I did to her eleven years ago. You put things right back to how they were when she stepped back into my life again six years ago no properly worse because we both know what we want but can't have. Do you know how long and hard it was for either of us to accept what we felt for each other and to allow each other the chance to explore those feelings? No of course not because all you cared about was doing what you were told and to see if you could get back with me wasn't it. First you held up my return to your office by not being able to find anyone suitable then when I put Kate forward for a promotion I had to wait till she got it to get off which then never happened. All there has been for the last year I was on Hammersley was stall tactics after stall tactics."

"_Mike you never seemed in a rush to get off."_

"Why do you think that Maxine, did you honestly think I would come out saying I can't return to Hammersley because I'm sleeping with my XO what would have been your first thought? Hmm?" He says to her.

"_I would have thought it was happening before you got posted off and that you only posted off because of it."_

"Correct so you can understand why I never said anything was to protect her career as well as mine. Then if I had shown any sign of needing to get off quickly you would have started probing for information and alike and I didn't want her and I to be found out that we had one amazing night together before I got put back on again. Or if she had chosen to leave you would have asked questions as well wouldn't you?"

"_Yes." She says quietly back to him._

"Look I need to go Maxine and see if I can track down Kate and sort things out with her and do something I should have done eleven years ago and never did." He says before hanging up the phone. He sits there thinking about where Kate could be and if she will be willing to listen to him or not.

Maxine sits in her office. _Something he should have done eleven years ago. What is he going on about? Hang on eleven years ago he took some leave his parents said something about a broken hearted over some girl. Was it Kate? _She sits there thinking to herself.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Mike**_

_**Flashback**_

_**Eleven Years**_

"Honey where are you?" Mike says as he enters the apartment he rents in Sydney.

"In the spare room studying." She yells back as she keeps on reading.

"How's it going?" He says as he walks into the spare room that has been semi turned into a study.

"Not too bad, pretty sure I'll be acing that test tomorrow." She says as he leans in and they share a brief but passionate kiss. He sits down beside her and starts to massage her back as she keeps on reading.

Half an hour later the two are now sitting down eating dinner.

"Kate I've been asked to return back to Cairns." Mike says while they are eating.

"I thought you were staying down here for a while?" She replies back with.

"So did I but Commander Marshall rang me he's been promoted to run Navcom which means someone needs to take over as CO of Hammersley and that has fallen to me"

"Oh" She says her voice full of disappointment as she now starts to play with her food. A few minutes later she gets up from the table. "When do you have to leave?" She says trying to not let the emotions get to her, but he can tell she is upset.

"Tomorrow morning." He says back to her. It's not a complete lie he has to return back soon but not tomorrow. "You can stay here till you get your next posting." He replies letting her know he isn't kicking her out of the apartment that they have called home for the last two months. He gets up and walks over to her, she is looking out over the city, she feels him come up behind her and wrap his arms around her waist and then gentle pulls her back so that she is resting against his chest.

"I have no say in the matter honey I have to go." He says as he gentle lays a kiss under her ear in a sensitive spot.

"I know you don't have any say in the matter. But I'm not going to pretend I like it." She says tears falling down her face.

"I don't know how we can make this work me up there on a patrol boat, you on a frigate. I was thinking and I wish I didn't have to say this but it might be easier on us if tomorrow we end this." He says to her she can tell from his voice that this isn't want he wont's to do.

"Why? Why do that surely we can make this work. If we got married they couldn't do this they would think about posting so we could see each other." She fires back at him. She had never thought of marriage before or happy ever after but the fear of losing him for good has her spilling out things she never thought of.

"Honey if we did that they would then find out when we first meet and then you would lose your job and career your dreams would be gone. I can't do that to you not when you have fort so hard to get to where you are today plus I can't do that to myself either. The water is my love and the chance to command Hammersley has always been a dream of mine since I first stepped on board her." For him he would love to marry her but he is worried about her career and what the brass might do when the figure out that the two meet while he was her tutor and her his student a big fat no, no by NAVY rules and regulations. Plus for him the love of the water and being out at sea has been the only thing that has ever made sense to him.

The follow morning his so called flight to Cairns that he had told Kate about was truly a flight to Brisbane then he was picked up and taken to his parent's farm, where he spends the next two weeks trying to mend his broken heart before having to return to Cairns. He knew he would need some time to get over Kate but he never thought he would still be feeling so low about what he did as he arrived back in Cairns. His mind would often wonder back to Kate and what they had. She was the one that got away for him and he was wishing more so now that he had agreed to marry her. But by the time he got around to ringing her to tell her he made a huge mistake she refused to talk to him and would hang up on him when she heard his voice if he used a different number. But he didn't blame her it took him six months to realise what he did wrong that day and then contact her even though he promised to ring her regular after they had a long talk that night before making love again.

But over the next few years the ache in his heart lessened off he learnt how to deal with his feelings towards Kate and put them in a chest and locked them away. He tried to date the odd girl here and there but he just never really got into it as he would compare them to her. She knew just how to bring the best out for him but was also not afraid to stand up for what she believed in as well.

_**Back to the present**_

Mike sits on the couch trying to get his head around everything. He decided sot ring his mother. He still has no idea that someone is in his home or that his front door is wide open.

The person who is standing in his house wants to make their presence known but isn't sure how to go about it.

"Mum it's me." He says into his phone once his mother has answered.

"Is everything ok?" she asks noticing his sad tone of voice.

"No I've managered to stuff things up again with Kate." he quietly says as another tear falls down his face

"How so son?"

"Cause I wrote a letter to the promo board asking them not to include my recommendation in this round and she found out."

"What happened when she found out?"

"She come around slapped me one and then left and she isn't answering any calls." He replies back his voice full of worry. "If it wasn't for Steve I wouldn't have any idea why she did it." He says to his mother.

"How so?"

"He came around to find out why I did it when I explained to him about my feelings for her and how things have been and why I didn't want it included he understood said I did the correct thing to protect her career and mine if I return. Anyway mum how long before you arrive?"

"Um about two hours we board in five minutes."

"Did you remember to bring my box with you?"

"Yes but why do you need it?"

"There is something in there that grandma gave me and I need it."  
"Care to explain?"

"Nope not till I have things sorted out at this end, anyway I should go just in case Kate tries to return my call." He says before they both say a quick goodbye before he sits the phone down on the coffee table before leaning back on his couch his hands over his face.

"Where are you honey?" He quietly says to himself.

"I'm right here." Comes the voice is has been hoping to here.

"Now my minds playing tricks on me." He says back to himself thinking that the voice he has heard isn't really there.

"No Mike it isn't I am really here in your house." Kate says again and Mike turns around and sees her standing just inside his door way. Their gazes lock and they both can tell the other has been crying, they can see the glassy reflection in each other's eyes. She starts walking towards him.

"How long have you been standing there?" He asks her.

"Awhile."

"So you heard what I said to mum then?" He says as she sits down on his coffee table in front of him.

"Yes but I also heard you on the phone to Maxine. I wasn't sure what to really do. Stay, go." She says back to him as she looks down at her hands that are sitting in her lap. He reaches over and places his hands over hers and she looks up at him.

"I'm pleased you decided to stay and talk to me." He says after a few moments of just sitting there looking at each other. They both sit there again in silence but not the type of silence that you would expect but more a silence that they both want; neither wants to talk just yet but do want to be with each other enjoying the time together.

Ten minutes have passed before they speak again.

"Kate honey I'm sorry I never mentioned to you what I was doing re my reference for your promotion. I didn't want what we have at present to get in the way or for others to use it against you. For them to say you only got that promotion because you were sleeping with me at the time. I've spoken to Steve he said it was just a formality before your promotion goes through. He said it would have no effect on your promotion and that I did the right thing by you, me. By everyone involved. Please don't hate me it's not because I don't think you are up for the job because you are it was for personal reasons."

"I know Steve told me. I was outside sitting in my car deciding if I should come in when Steve came out and saw me." She says as he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, his hand lingering on the side of her face. She leans her head into his hand and the two sit there again in silence just looking at each other.

"I'm sorry for slapping you I should have talked first I was just so cross and angry at finding out what you had done. I thought you didn't think I could do it after saying you would support my promotions be there for me. I thought I had lost any chance of getting my promotion." She says as a tear falls down her face.

"Of course I will support you and be there for you Kate but I want that to be as your partner not your boss." There is a brief moment of quiet between the two before Mike speaks again "Do you remember our last night together?" He asks her as his hand gentle caresses the side of her face, the other still on her hands that are in her lap.

"Yes." She says to him. It is one night she will never forget the lovely back rub before dinner, then him telling her he was having to return back to Cairns the following morning, how they made love several times how she asked him to marry her then later that night how they talked and she thought they both had agreed to stay in contact and in a few months get back together again and be happy. But for her within a few days she realised that it wasn't true and she didn't know why he had left because he wasn't needed in Cairns right away like he said.

"Do you remember what you asked me to do?"

"Yes and you said no but then we talked later and…why did you leave and not tell me why?" She says breaking down into tears and he gentles gets her to move and sit on his lap as he allows her to cry into his chest.

They sit there together, him allowing her to cry as he gentle rubs her back allowing them to fall to give her the time she needs before he replies to why he left.

"I left because I got scared for what I was feeling for you."

"But we were living together I thought we had a future together you were and are the only one I could ever imagine those things with. Even with Jim when it came to trying on a dress you were what came to my mind and no matter how much I told myself it is Jim I could never picture him like I would picture you. I even dreamt of our wedding that last night I spent with Jim after trying on a dress. You made me believe that I could have it all but you left just like my father did." She says as tears roll down her face, her voice full of sadness over what happened that day.

"Kate I want to marry you and I want to do it before I return back to work. It si something we should have done back then but as you kindly put it a few years ago I was an emotional coward and ran and then hide behind my job as not to have to worry about what I was feeling. It took me six months to realise I made a huge mistake back then but by then you…"

"Wouldn't talk to you I know I was hurting badly as well. But how can I be sure that you won't run, hide or anything else we don't have a brilliant track record here."

"Well I was thinking if I return and we are married by then it means that they can't ask me to do things that might put us in the positions we have been in. But it would be a good month before we could get married at the earliest so you could change your mind if you wanted too. I no longer want to hide what I feel for you. I don't want you to be thinking I'm using my job to hide my feelings for you. You are the most important thing to me and if I have too I will leave the navy so that we can get what we both want from this relationship." He says to her. The two sit there him waiting for her to reply and her not sure what to say.

"Do you really mean it Mike?"

"Yes Kate I do. We've wasted far too much time mucking around and stalling and every other god damn thing we have done to each other. We're not getting any younger and if we are going to have that family we have talked about we first need to get married, and if we wait there will be some other god damn thing to come our way and stop us or slow us down. I don't care if we have a big fancy wedding or a small just family and close friend's wedding, all I want is to call you my wife, have you living in the same house as me, waking up to you every morning when you're on shore. Mum, dad, Maxine and even you have been right I have been running from my feelings for you but that is going to stop. I'm no longer running away but more running to you. Dad is right I'm not a teenager anymore but an adult who needs to stand up and face what I feel for you and not be scared of it like I have been. To not be afraid that we may at times hurt each other, do things that might upset the other." He says as he runs his hand behind her ear as if tucking a strand of hair behind it.

"But most importantly I have to stand up to this, stand up for us and not allow anyone to tell me who I can and cannot love anymore." He says before placing a long lingering kiss on her lips.

"So what do you say, will you marry this old stupid fool?" He says after pulling away his forehead against her. She smiles in return before answering.

"Yes, oh god yes." She says as she wraps her arms around his neck and they kiss again.

Five minutes later after several very long passionate kisses they finally pull apart long enough to talk again.

"Now you better ring Maxine she was worried about you."

"Yea we are sailing later today."

"What time?"

"Um Maxine message said..."She looks at her watch "Oh in about ten minutes not going to make that time now am I?" Mike notices the time.

"Well mum will be here in about 30mins if you can get Maxine to hold off for a bit longer I can give you your ring before you sail." He says and she quickly gets her phone out and rings Maxine. Mike not noticing until then how long the two had been talking.

Ten minutes later Kate is off the phone and Mike is in the kitchen making some food up.

"What did she say?"

"She wasn't happy but I told her that we needed to sort a few things out before I sail again and that if we can push it back to 1800 hours would be greatly appreciated."

"It's only 1345hours giving yourself some spare time are you."

"Well I thought I should have a shower and a chance to look semi normal before stepping back on Hammersley." She says as she walks up to him and they stand there hugging, Mike leaning against the bench as they hug, most of his weight on his good leg. This is how his mother finds them ten minutes later when she enters the house the two seeming to be in a world of their own.

She stands there watching the two before making herself known.

"Mike should you be standing for so long like that?" she says to her son.

"It's ok mum I'm using the bench to help." He replies as the two unwrap their arms from each other, and Mike grabs his crutch to walk over to the table to eat, as Kate follows with their sandwiches.

"So when do you sail again Kate?"

"1800 hours but I should be down there from 1700 to make sure the extra supplies are loaded and everyone arrives that has shore leave so we can sail on time." Kate replies back. Mike's mum gets up and goes and get something out of her bag and then places it on the table near Mike.

"This was the box you meant wasn't it?"

"Sure was." He says happily as he pulls it closer. He fiddles with the lock combo on the box before it unlocks and he slowly opens it up and moves a few things around till he finds what he is looking for. He pulls out a small dark blue velvet box and then turns to face Kate.

"This belonged to my grandmother she gave it to me several years ago just before she passed away." He says as he opens up the box and a gold engraved ring with 3 diamonds, one larger one with one smaller one on either side of the larger stone. "I want you to have it." He says as Kate sits there stunned.

"Mike I can't take this it belongs to you." She says to him.

"Yes you can take it honey. Grandma told me what to use it for and I'm doing as she asked. It use to be her engagement ring when she was married to grandpa. She said it was important that it got passed down through the family." He says as he slides it on her finger. Kate sits there steering at it on her finger how right it looks there too. IT maybe an antique but it sure looks like it belongs on her finger.

"If you really don't want to wear it that is fine we can go get you something else." He says after a few moments of silence form her. His mother just sitting back watching and not saying anything, but she does have a smile on her face.

"No I do like it Mike, I'm honoured that you want me to wear this." She says as she keeps looking at it.

"Grandma was right it does look beautiful on your hand." He says as he leans in and they share a kiss.

"But what about work, will they let me wear it?"

"Yes they will allow it honey. Engagement and wedding bands are allowed to be warn at all times. But it is your choice if you wear it at work." He says to her.

"Ok you two when did this happen? Last I was told you had slapped him one over him not supporting your promotion?" His mother then asks deciding she now wants answers.

"I asked her after we had talked on the phone." And she looks puzzled at him.

"We talked after you two had finished talking on the phone he didn't know I was already in the house when he rang you. We talked about a few things, we still have some things to address but he asked me and I said yes." Kate says to her future mother in-law.

"So we have lots to do now then don't we?" She says with excitement in her tone of voice

"Mum." Mike whines to her.

"Mike don't whine at me."

"Lisa we haven't decided when we will get married or what type of wedding we've only just gotten engaged."

"Surely you know what sort of wedding you want Kate?"

"To be honest I never really thought I would ever get married so I never thought about what type of wedding I wanted."

"Well we can't do anything for at least a month anyway mums so that gives us plenty of time to decide what we both want." Mike says knowing there is a minimum of a month's wait before they can get married after filing the paperwork. "Which reminds me can you pass over my laptop please?" Mike says, and his mother gets it for him.

He brings up an internet page and does a Google search, he finds the page he is looking for.

"OK we both have to full in paperwork, while you're out on patrol I will sort this all out for us so that next time you're in port we can go get it sorted." Mike says and both him and Kate look at the information they have found on the net.

"Gives us time to decide what we want too." She quietly says into his ear. The two sit there side by side as they also look at other things while on the net, Lisa goes off to ring Mikes father and tell him the good news.


	17. Final Chapter

It had been three months since Mike had asked Kate to marry him and today was Kate's last fitting day before the big day tomorrow. They both had decided that they wanted to get married as soon as possible but Kate had said that they should wait till Mike's leg was strong enough to handle standing to say their vows and to have the first dance with her.

They had decided on along with some help form Mike's mother a small intermit ceremony that involved close family and friends.

Had and Mikes mother had long talks about what she would wear and her bridesmaids. Kate wins the battle of the colour choices but in the end Lisa wins the choice on the style and cut of dresses and once Kate sees them on her two bridesmaids she is pleased.

"Didn't you believe me?" Lisa whispers to Kate.

"Well what I thought would have looked nice doesn't not compared to those." Kate says as she points to what Maxine and Nikki is both wearing. The girls are wearing knee length holder neck, v cut Light blue dresses, the bust being more highlights while the waist had a ruffing effect which made both woman seem skinner than they were. The two did hate that they had more bust showing then they liked but once they saw the overall picture it didn't seem like it at all. They were impressed at what Kate and Lisa had chosen in the end.

"Well you do need to have them in what suits their body shape and style.

"Go try on your dress let's see the finished result." Lisa says as Kate goes off to get help to get into her dress.

Kate walks out about fifteen minutes later in a lovely Ivory floor length spaghetti strap gown. Something that Lisa had some help in regarding the design and look of it. The straps weren't there to hold the gown in place as it was originally a strapless gown but Kate didn't feel comfortable so they added the thin straps. The bodice had Swarovski crystal & diamante detailing over it.

"This is just too much." Kate emotional says as she comes out.

"Kate it's your wedding day your aloud to dress up and feel like a princess."  
"But something like this, for just one day. It costs far too much I can just wear something simple like those two."

"Like hell Kate." Maxine says to her. Since Kate got sick after Mike left Maxine and she have formed a friendship something neither would have expected if you had asked them this question just before Mike left.

"Kate is this something you want to wear?" Lisa asks her

"Yes but it's just…" Kate says and stops talking the emotions that she is finally tomorrow going to be marring Mike become part of a family getting to her.

"Then you will be wearing it." Lisa thinks she knows what is up with Kate. She is getting married tomorrow. She has no idea where her father is and has no contact with her mother. The one person she wants there to give her away cant because she has not seen or spoken to him since moving to Australia.

The rest of the afternoon goes by in a blur for Kate. Lisa, Maxine and Nikki treating her to a massage and spa treatment, and then dinner before all of them heading to bed early.

The big day has arrived.

Mike is at home with his brother and Charge getting ready for his wedding. He is wearing his ceremony Whites at the request of Kate, while his groomsmen wear blue suits as to match the bridesmaid's dresses.

Kate is at her place getting ready, she is having her hair and makeup done for her. A few hours later she and the rest of the group are ready to go.

Down on the beach chairs and that have been set up for the ceremony. Neither wanted to get married in a church and since the water is a part of them, their life and their work, they decided to included it in their day. And today Cairns and the gods are looking down on them with a stunning day. Blue sky and not a cloud in sight.

Mike is standing up the front with his groomsmen when the music starts to play. It is a tune they both now very well, well everyone on Hammersley knows well as it is one Mike use to play a lot on the old Hammersley and sometimes is played on the new one. Kate chose this song as it was the old Hammersley that brought them back together after five years.

When Mike saw Kate for the first time that day he was left stunned and shocked, she looked so beautiful to him, that he only saw her and how she looked everything else on the beach was tuned out. Kate saw his expression when he saw her in her dress her hair nicely done and make up one. The smile he gave her melted away the last of her nerves that she had, as Mike's dad walked beside her down the aisle towards Mike.

An hour later and they were being traduced as Husband and wife and Mike being given permission to kiss Kate which he didn't disappoint when they both shared a passionate kiss in front of everyone.

Everyone was involved in the photo session that followed at the beach and also at the gardens by the venue that Mike and Kate had chosen to have their reception. The day was more of a celebration of how far they had come and how much their close knit family on Hammersley and their family had helped them get to where they are today. Eleven years after first meeting they were now husband and wife.

They spent a wonderful ten days in Tahiti having their dream holiday and honeymoon in a place they both loved. They spent the time reconnecting in some many different ways. Bush walks, swimming, snorkelling, ling on the beach reading books, lovely romantic dinners together and the joy of being able to share a bed and sleep in if they choose with no worries in the world. For Mike by the end of the week his leg was starting to get extremely sore from all the work it had been getting, that he was pleased when Kate suggested they spend their last day relaxing in their private bungalow.

They had only been back in Cairns and both back at work for two weeks when Maxine received some devastating news. She had stepped down as Commanding Officer of NAVCOM Cairns but remained as 2IC to Mike. She helped out as she could but her treatments for her cancer were aggressive and she didn't handle it well, she lost her hair and was sick. Whenever Kate was home on shore leave she would spend time with Maxine. The bond got stronger between the two. The lump in Maxine breast was only small but the doctors had decided to go aggressive and get it gone quickly. For Mike it was an intense time, between work, his physiotherapy and Maxine he was always keeping busy. There were days where he wished he was out on Hammersley away from the pile of paperwork that never seemed to end, and also be able to hear his wife's voice. Returning home each night to their new home that they had brought together was a reminder of how far he had come and how much he had given up to have the woman he loved so dearly.

Mike and Kate had been married for Six months now and they had settled into their new life together well.

Maxine had just finished her last round of treatment as was waiting for the results to see if she had been given the all clear or not.

Kate on the other hand was not feeling well and for the last two weeks while out on patrol she had been feeling a tad off colour. Whenever they experienced rough seas she would be in her cabin bringing up her stomachs contents into the toilet bowl. She decided to get a pregnancy test to see if she was pregnant. They had been trying but had also decided that they would worry if it didn't happen right away, but as long as it happened was all that matter. Mike knew she hadn't been well as the Hammersley medic had told him and so had Kate both not keeping secrets from each other.

She took the test as was shocked but happy with the results that she had RO patch her through to Mike straight away not being able to wait to tell him the good news.

"Mike Flynn speaking" Is heard when he answers the phone.

"Mikes it's me."

"Hey me how you feeling?" he says as he leans back in his chair in his office in NAVCOM.

"Yuck to be honest. Hammersley needs to stop rocking and rolling out here stupid storm."

"Do you need me to bring Hammersley back and order you to go see a doctor?" he says his voice full of concern for his wife.

"Nothing a doctor can do I just have to find out if I'm going to be like this for the next eight months or so." Kate says deciding to go about this a different way than just blurting it out." Mike goes quiet trying to figure out what she is going on about and after a few minutes of silence Kate speaks again.

"I hope that is good silence not bad silence there Mike because we did talk about starting a family and I would really hate for you to run now there is a child on the way." She says to him.

"Really you're pregnant?" He says into the phone not noticing Maxine arrive in his office.

"Yes I just took a test I'm late and this bug isn't going away. The test is positive but we will need to get it confirmed once I'm back on shore leave."

"WOW, um of course honey. Next time you come into port you guys will have twenty four hours shore leave."

"Look got to go being paged to the Bridge."

"Look after yourself honey. I love you." He says in to the phone she says I love you back to him and then they hang up Kate heading to the bridge and Mike sitting there with a huge smile on his face.

A week later Kate gets the confirmation that she is pregnant and is around eight weeks, at the same time Maxine also gets the all clear. She decides to take some time out and go on a holiday.

The brass has decided to leave Mike in charge of NAVCOM Cairns.

Seven months later Mike and Kate welcome into the world a healthy baby girl that they have names Arya May Flynn.

Live for them was now taking a total different route. Maxine was back and helping out at NAVCOM, while Mike took time off to spend with his new baby daughter.

Five days later as Kate and Mike lay together on the couch watching their daughter sleep in her bouncer on the floor they both realise that everything they have been through together over the last ten years has made them a strong team. And they both could wait to see what the rest of their future together held.


End file.
